So friday was an absolutely insane day because I had a presentation AND a band concert.
So I had to leave class early as per usual to get to rehearsal.
Then get dinner and put on this make up.
This was not my idea of fun.
I love make up in general.
I love putting it on.
Hell one of my favorite parts of the day is when I put on my make up.
It changes everything.
But Walters wanted the entire band in black and white ghost make up.
The. Entire. Band. In. Makeup.
Nope.
So I had to put that on and I did not enjoy putting that on on top of the make up I already had on.
Only men think its a good idea to wear crazy stage make up.
So we do the concert.
Face paint and zombie walk and all.
And I go home and I scrub all that shit off my face.
Never again Walters.
Never again.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
"This is going to sound weird, but do you possibly have seashells?"
Finding seashells in a landlocked state.
Good idea to be a mermaid for Halloween.
Yes really good idea Julia Grace.
Oddly enough tiny Durango CO does have seashells.
At the fish store.
Hermit crab shells.
At the cowboy store.
Abalone.
At pier 1
Decorations.
Let me just say, trying to find them was a journey at a half.
And I'm pretty sure I cracked up half the media center whilst doing so.
Because lets be honest, a woman looking for seashells, in Durango, for a mermaid costume.
Yeah that was me.
And I'm sure some of those people I called went home later that day and said something like...
"I had the weirdest conversation today. This girl was looking for seashells for a mermaid costume. She's going to freeze her ass off I can tell you that."
Good idea to be a mermaid for Halloween.
Yes really good idea Julia Grace.
Oddly enough tiny Durango CO does have seashells.
At the fish store.
Hermit crab shells.
At the cowboy store.
Abalone.
At pier 1
Decorations.
Let me just say, trying to find them was a journey at a half.
And I'm pretty sure I cracked up half the media center whilst doing so.
Because lets be honest, a woman looking for seashells, in Durango, for a mermaid costume.
Yeah that was me.
And I'm sure some of those people I called went home later that day and said something like...
"I had the weirdest conversation today. This girl was looking for seashells for a mermaid costume. She's going to freeze her ass off I can tell you that."
Stomping
So relationships are hard.
And the older I get the more I realize that I want to spend my time with people that do something for me.
Such as making me happy or engage me in unique conversations.
They give me something that I can't find anywhere else.
And that's a quality all of my friends have.
So why would I spend time with someone that I do not connect with on multiple levels and whom I don't really enjoy?
I have no idea.
But that happened and I realized that I didn't want to go any further.
So I stopped something before it got any further.
Because I realized my time was better spent elsewhere for both parties.
We weren't that connected.
I didn't have time.
And I just wanted to move on.
And I didn't want to hurt them.
So I cut it off before it went too far.
And I think that was one of my best decisions.
Why waste time on something that doesn't make you happy.
Life is only so long.
Why waste it on something that neither person enjoys?
That's not fair for anyone.
So moral of the story.
Always pursue happiness.
And the older I get the more I realize that I want to spend my time with people that do something for me.
Such as making me happy or engage me in unique conversations.
They give me something that I can't find anywhere else.
And that's a quality all of my friends have.
So why would I spend time with someone that I do not connect with on multiple levels and whom I don't really enjoy?
I have no idea.
But that happened and I realized that I didn't want to go any further.
So I stopped something before it got any further.
Because I realized my time was better spent elsewhere for both parties.
We weren't that connected.
I didn't have time.
And I just wanted to move on.
And I didn't want to hurt them.
So I cut it off before it went too far.
And I think that was one of my best decisions.
Why waste time on something that doesn't make you happy.
Life is only so long.
Why waste it on something that neither person enjoys?
That's not fair for anyone.
So moral of the story.
Always pursue happiness.
recruiting
So the indy was in desperate need of staff because lets be honest our current staff is quite small.
And no one came back this semester.
And so we had less people.
So I had this genius idea to send out a mass email to professors from some other departments that might have students that would be interested.
English, History, Theatre, Business and Art.
Let me just tell you Business has more professors than all the departments combined.
And maybe 2 got back to me.
Thanks guys.
Well I sent that out.
And then realized that I had a typo in the first sentence of the email that was sent to the english professors.
And then I realized I had sent it from my msn email and not my fort lewis.
So it could have ended up in spam boxes.
But I did get some responses.
And so we did get some people into classes.
So hopefully we will have a variety of people next semester and with different talents more than communications majors.
And no one came back this semester.
And so we had less people.
So I had this genius idea to send out a mass email to professors from some other departments that might have students that would be interested.
English, History, Theatre, Business and Art.
Let me just tell you Business has more professors than all the departments combined.
And maybe 2 got back to me.
Thanks guys.
Well I sent that out.
And then realized that I had a typo in the first sentence of the email that was sent to the english professors.
And then I realized I had sent it from my msn email and not my fort lewis.
So it could have ended up in spam boxes.
But I did get some responses.
And so we did get some people into classes.
So hopefully we will have a variety of people next semester and with different talents more than communications majors.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Bossy Pants
So when I need to get something done in a group project I tend to get a bit bossy.
Okay to be honest, I get really bossy.
Like no joke.
I will try to make the entire world revolve around me.
Yeah I am that diva.
So here is the deal.
We were filming for my social media marketing class.
And I was being excessively bossy.
And indecisive.
And hyper as hell.
But somehow with all the gibberish coming out of my mouth we filmed the entire thing.
Which only needed to be 50 -70 seconds.
But we all know we went over because our group or well the 2/3rds that showed up for filming day is badass.
That one guy. Did not show up.
And that other guy was so freaking helpful.
Like we became buds.
It was so good.
Okay to be honest, I get really bossy.
Like no joke.
I will try to make the entire world revolve around me.
Yeah I am that diva.
So here is the deal.
We were filming for my social media marketing class.
And I was being excessively bossy.
And indecisive.
And hyper as hell.
But somehow with all the gibberish coming out of my mouth we filmed the entire thing.
Which only needed to be 50 -70 seconds.
But we all know we went over because our group or well the 2/3rds that showed up for filming day is badass.
That one guy. Did not show up.
And that other guy was so freaking helpful.
Like we became buds.
It was so good.
"You have sushi, RIGHT?!"
So the roommate and I finally had our schedules open up enough that we could finally go on a sushi date.
These happened a lot more last year but this year they have been less and less because we are just both extremely busy.
Its not so good.
So we finally found a spare hour or so to spend together and eat food.
WELL it started out okay.
And then we got hangry
So our favorite spot Rice Monkey we had to wait for.
And we waited for like 40 minutes for a table.
And then we went back to check and found out they were out of sushi.
So I just went NOPE AND WALKED MY HAPPY LITTLE ASS OUT THE DOOR.
I usually am more polite than that but we were hungry.
And I was damn determined to find some sushi.
Because it was our sushi date night.
And we cant have that with out sushi.
So we headed to East by Southwest.
Which we've never been to together.
But what the heck, were branching out.
So we walk in and with a crazy look in my eye I look the lady in the eye and say "you have sushi RIGHT?!"
And she answers yes.
We get seated.
Order a crap ton of food.
Eat all of it.
Then find out we get cotton candy too.
And then I am literally the happiest person ever.
So the moral of the story is, don't mess with me when i'm hungry.
Or i might just end up eating you.
These happened a lot more last year but this year they have been less and less because we are just both extremely busy.
Its not so good.
So we finally found a spare hour or so to spend together and eat food.
WELL it started out okay.
And then we got hangry
So our favorite spot Rice Monkey we had to wait for.
And we waited for like 40 minutes for a table.
And then we went back to check and found out they were out of sushi.
So I just went NOPE AND WALKED MY HAPPY LITTLE ASS OUT THE DOOR.
I usually am more polite than that but we were hungry.
And I was damn determined to find some sushi.
Because it was our sushi date night.
And we cant have that with out sushi.
So we headed to East by Southwest.
Which we've never been to together.
But what the heck, were branching out.
So we walk in and with a crazy look in my eye I look the lady in the eye and say "you have sushi RIGHT?!"
And she answers yes.
We get seated.
Order a crap ton of food.
Eat all of it.
Then find out we get cotton candy too.
And then I am literally the happiest person ever.
So the moral of the story is, don't mess with me when i'm hungry.
Or i might just end up eating you.
Monday, December 14, 2015
I don't have to set an alarm
SQUEEEEEE
Like you have no idea how great it is to just wake up naturally.
Not to some random radio station or to some screeching or because you just woke up because you were worried about something.
But to just sleep.
And then wake up with the sun.
And then stretch your arms to the sky like a disney princess.
And then fall back asleep for like the next few hours.
So damn good.
Because I always have to set an alarm to wake up for school or for work or to go into do something for school.
So I never get a lazy saturday morning and that particular day I did.
And I literally was so excited to just sleep and sleep and sleep.
Because I am old and I love sleep like more than anything else.
Unless its cheese.
Then I love cheese as much as sleep.
Like you have no idea how great it is to just wake up naturally.
Not to some random radio station or to some screeching or because you just woke up because you were worried about something.
But to just sleep.
And then wake up with the sun.
And then stretch your arms to the sky like a disney princess.
And then fall back asleep for like the next few hours.
So damn good.
Because I always have to set an alarm to wake up for school or for work or to go into do something for school.
So I never get a lazy saturday morning and that particular day I did.
And I literally was so excited to just sleep and sleep and sleep.
Because I am old and I love sleep like more than anything else.
Unless its cheese.
Then I love cheese as much as sleep.
To tell you i'm sorry for breaking your heart
ADELE
OH MY GOODNESS
The entire world cried ugly tears the day she released her new single Hello.
And then even more when the entire album came out.
Being a musician I can recognize unique tambours in a voice.
She certainly has a special one.
A tambour is a type of sound.
Like the different type of sound that a clarinet makes versus a trumpet.
One is soft and warm, the other is brighter.
Its not the range but the sheen of the sound if that makes sense.
ANYWAYS
I listened to Hello probably a dozen times that particular day.
Because it just connected with me as it did with pretty much every single person.
A love that just slipped through your fingers and the residual aftermath that you have to deal with.
When its your fault.
I've felt this way before. Like it was all my fault. Like everything you did just feel to pieces.
Utter guilt.
And i've been on the other end.
I've been the one whos heart has been broken and not picking up the phone.
So it showed me that both sides of what i've dealt with were normal.
That maybe somewhere in my crazy workings of a brain, it wasnt so discombobulated because someone else has done and gone through the same things.
It connected to me and I felt like a piece of my soul that had been dormant for a while had awakened.
So good.
So soulful.
We missed you Adele.
Never ever ever leave us again.
Love the world
OH MY GOODNESS
The entire world cried ugly tears the day she released her new single Hello.
And then even more when the entire album came out.
Being a musician I can recognize unique tambours in a voice.
She certainly has a special one.
A tambour is a type of sound.
Like the different type of sound that a clarinet makes versus a trumpet.
One is soft and warm, the other is brighter.
Its not the range but the sheen of the sound if that makes sense.
ANYWAYS
I listened to Hello probably a dozen times that particular day.
Because it just connected with me as it did with pretty much every single person.
A love that just slipped through your fingers and the residual aftermath that you have to deal with.
When its your fault.
I've felt this way before. Like it was all my fault. Like everything you did just feel to pieces.
Utter guilt.
And i've been on the other end.
I've been the one whos heart has been broken and not picking up the phone.
So it showed me that both sides of what i've dealt with were normal.
That maybe somewhere in my crazy workings of a brain, it wasnt so discombobulated because someone else has done and gone through the same things.
It connected to me and I felt like a piece of my soul that had been dormant for a while had awakened.
So good.
So soulful.
We missed you Adele.
Never ever ever leave us again.
Love the world
Group work
I kind of really hate group work.
Because the type of people that you can get stuck with always varies.
Like you could have a bunch of overachievers that all work together nicely.
Or a bunch of slackers and so now you have to do all the work.
Or someone that just takes over the entire thing for no real reason other than they are a control freak.
So anyways,
I was blessed into a group project with a mix of members.
One was wonderful and hard working and flexible with what we needed to get done. Always there, always on time, dependable as hell.
The other was the exact opposite.
And that never sits well with me.
Laziness when other people's grades are involved.
Not okay to slack off.
So anyways, the non-slacker and I became friends.
Planned and shot the entire project.
Edited the thing and got to know each other.
The other guy,
Hardly there.
Hard to get ahold off.
Did barely any.
And then was critical of our work.
Like maybe if you showed up I wouldnt be cranky.
Thats just me.
Moral of the story.
Be kind and work together.
You dont have to be the person that takes over the project.
Just be good at communicating and trusting your team until proven otherwise.
Then make sure you have a good back up plan.
Because the type of people that you can get stuck with always varies.
Like you could have a bunch of overachievers that all work together nicely.
Or a bunch of slackers and so now you have to do all the work.
Or someone that just takes over the entire thing for no real reason other than they are a control freak.
So anyways,
I was blessed into a group project with a mix of members.
One was wonderful and hard working and flexible with what we needed to get done. Always there, always on time, dependable as hell.
The other was the exact opposite.
And that never sits well with me.
Laziness when other people's grades are involved.
Not okay to slack off.
So anyways, the non-slacker and I became friends.
Planned and shot the entire project.
Edited the thing and got to know each other.
The other guy,
Hardly there.
Hard to get ahold off.
Did barely any.
And then was critical of our work.
Like maybe if you showed up I wouldnt be cranky.
Thats just me.
Moral of the story.
Be kind and work together.
You dont have to be the person that takes over the project.
Just be good at communicating and trusting your team until proven otherwise.
Then make sure you have a good back up plan.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
88 mph
So October 21st 2015 was the day that back to the future went to.
And in some ways we are like the movie and some we are not.
Its weird to think that we are now living in the "future".
And yet we still haven't figured out how to not destroy the environment.
How to have equality between the genders.
How not to piss off everyone with our bull headedness.
And how the hell Donald Trump is somehow in the race for president.
A position he has no experience for.
How has the future come to having an arrogant man as a possible contender for the next leader of the new world.
It is 2015.
I remember when it turned 2000 and thought that was cool.
How crazy is it that its been 15 years since then.
Hello to the world of social media.
To the use of phrases such as Bae and On Fleek
To having to argue female reproductive rights.
To actually having people that thingk the movie the Martian actually was a real event.
What has our society come to?
We've progressed but we still have far to go.
Lets hope the future is brighter than what we see now.
rainbow colored sprinkles
So as we all know, I'm a bit of a small child at times
And I like sugar a lot.
Sometimes I can seriously resemble the female version of Buddy the Elf.
It's not cute.
Well this particular day there was a genius and I mean GENIUS fundraiser going on .
Freshly dipped caramel apples.
Holy baby Jesus I nearly died.
And they were only 2 dollars.
And so not only was the caramel still warm but you could then choose the toppings.
And I got graham crackers and get this.
Rainbow colored sprinkles.
Shocker
But seriously it made my day as I was gnawing away at that thing.
Too damn good.
So if you ever want to make me randomly happy.
Just cover it in rainbow colored sprinkles.
And I like sugar a lot.
Sometimes I can seriously resemble the female version of Buddy the Elf.
It's not cute.
Well this particular day there was a genius and I mean GENIUS fundraiser going on .
Freshly dipped caramel apples.
Holy baby Jesus I nearly died.
And they were only 2 dollars.
And so not only was the caramel still warm but you could then choose the toppings.
And I got graham crackers and get this.
Rainbow colored sprinkles.
Shocker
But seriously it made my day as I was gnawing away at that thing.
Too damn good.
So if you ever want to make me randomly happy.
Just cover it in rainbow colored sprinkles.
Tall enough
We all know i'm tall.
Hello 70 inches of woman right here.
So WHY THE HECK DO I EVER WEAR HEELS?!?
I always do this.
I wear heels and then regret it.
Well today it was these really high heeled boots that are occasionally nicknamed
THE stripper boots.
Theyre not actually but dad thought they looked like stripper boots so it has unfortunately stuck.
And I wanted to mix up my style because its durango and we do that.
No we dont.
That is a lie.
So I wore heels.
And immediately regretted it.
Because I'm pretty sure I flashed a few people because I thought wearing a high waisted skirt was a great idea too...
Bad life choices.
There's actually a video of me and regretting my decisions.
Its pretty funny.
So long story short.
It's durango.
I dont need heels.
I already stick out I dont need any more reasons to be even more of an anomaly in this town.
So there.
Flat shoes it is.
Hello 70 inches of woman right here.
So WHY THE HECK DO I EVER WEAR HEELS?!?
I always do this.
I wear heels and then regret it.
Well today it was these really high heeled boots that are occasionally nicknamed
THE stripper boots.
Theyre not actually but dad thought they looked like stripper boots so it has unfortunately stuck.
And I wanted to mix up my style because its durango and we do that.
No we dont.
That is a lie.
So I wore heels.
And immediately regretted it.
Because I'm pretty sure I flashed a few people because I thought wearing a high waisted skirt was a great idea too...
Bad life choices.
There's actually a video of me and regretting my decisions.
Its pretty funny.
So long story short.
It's durango.
I dont need heels.
I already stick out I dont need any more reasons to be even more of an anomaly in this town.
So there.
Flat shoes it is.
Not too long now
I always hate Sundays.
Especially when my family is visiting.
Because its the day they go home.
And I just feel this emptiness when they are gone.
Like I'm the missing piece left behind.
We headed up to honeyville as per usual to get our fix of honey items.
Drank some mead.
And I just remember how good of people my parents are.
How compassionately they love
And how much I miss them.
Whenever they leave mom always says "not too long now until we see you"
And we always cry.
No matter how old I am and no matter how many times we do it I still cry.
I hate when the pull away and I see how truly far away I am.
They are not just around the corner.
We are hours upon hours away from each other.
But then I realize its okay.
This is part of growing up.
And being an adult.
You learn to be alone and stand as you grow up.
And its not as hard each time.
But its still hard.
And that means we still care.
And that they are still my world.
So not too long until i'm home.
Especially when my family is visiting.
Because its the day they go home.
And I just feel this emptiness when they are gone.
Like I'm the missing piece left behind.
We headed up to honeyville as per usual to get our fix of honey items.
Drank some mead.
And I just remember how good of people my parents are.
How compassionately they love
And how much I miss them.
Whenever they leave mom always says "not too long now until we see you"
And we always cry.
No matter how old I am and no matter how many times we do it I still cry.
I hate when the pull away and I see how truly far away I am.
They are not just around the corner.
We are hours upon hours away from each other.
But then I realize its okay.
This is part of growing up.
And being an adult.
You learn to be alone and stand as you grow up.
And its not as hard each time.
But its still hard.
And that means we still care.
And that they are still my world.
So not too long until i'm home.
We're not prepared for this hike...
So we decided to head out that morning and go to Mesa Verde.
Not before we first stopped by the farmers market and go THE MOST DELICIOUS CHEESE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD
There was cumin in it.
So stinking good.
Like I was more excited about the cumin cheese than really anything else.
So we head off.
And go to a couple places
And then we stop for lunch and I get way too excited about eating the nutty cumin cheese really than I should be.
And then we decide to go hike down to cliff palace and on our way back we see a hike that jets off to some pictographs.
Not really thinking and with out proper footwear, a map or any real idea what we are in for and how long this hike is, we set out.
Because that is a smart idea.
So we go for a while over hill over dale.
And then we start to question how long this is going to take.
Since we are sans water.
And the weather is starting to turn.
So we go a bit further and then decide to head back.
When we get back we find its a few mile loop and they reccommend that you dont go out with out proper footwear, water and some idea of what you are in for,
yeah we should have read that sign...
Well later we get home and have a lovely evening and it was so good to just be by myself with my parents because I never get that.
I was an only child for a little bit.
And it was great.
Not before we first stopped by the farmers market and go THE MOST DELICIOUS CHEESE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD
There was cumin in it.
So stinking good.
Like I was more excited about the cumin cheese than really anything else.
So we head off.
And go to a couple places
And then we stop for lunch and I get way too excited about eating the nutty cumin cheese really than I should be.
And then we decide to go hike down to cliff palace and on our way back we see a hike that jets off to some pictographs.
Not really thinking and with out proper footwear, a map or any real idea what we are in for and how long this hike is, we set out.
Because that is a smart idea.
So we go for a while over hill over dale.
And then we start to question how long this is going to take.
Since we are sans water.
And the weather is starting to turn.
So we go a bit further and then decide to head back.
When we get back we find its a few mile loop and they reccommend that you dont go out with out proper footwear, water and some idea of what you are in for,
yeah we should have read that sign...
Well later we get home and have a lovely evening and it was so good to just be by myself with my parents because I never get that.
I was an only child for a little bit.
And it was great.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
STRONG DRINKS
THE PARENTAL UNITS CAME INTO TO TOWN AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY EVER!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Like I came out of my last class and they were driving into the parking lot.
I was so excited to see them.
You don't realize how much you miss them until its been some time and you just really need a hug.
And then here they are just driving up to me.
So we went back to my place, made dinner and then decided to head out for dessert.
So of course we had to go to Gardenswartz because dad just has to go look at water bottles.
And then we found a place to get drinks and dessert.
Eolus.
Also saw Diego at El Moro.
But we got in ordered drinks that we found wer a bit strong.
Very strong.
And oh hot donuts too.
Those were damn good.
And then we went home and snuggled.
And I was so happy.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Like I came out of my last class and they were driving into the parking lot.
I was so excited to see them.
You don't realize how much you miss them until its been some time and you just really need a hug.
And then here they are just driving up to me.
So we went back to my place, made dinner and then decided to head out for dessert.
So of course we had to go to Gardenswartz because dad just has to go look at water bottles.
And then we found a place to get drinks and dessert.
Eolus.
Also saw Diego at El Moro.
But we got in ordered drinks that we found wer a bit strong.
Very strong.
And oh hot donuts too.
Those were damn good.
And then we went home and snuggled.
And I was so happy.
That wasn't Aaron....
So I swear I saw my friend Aaron Tomaselli walking past the media center on that particular day.
Now just as some context.
Aaron and Lane lived next to Hallie and I sophomore year and we all became great friends.
And I stayed friends with them after all the craziness of last year.
And I don't get to see them very often because they are busy little enginerds and hardly ever go out and just don't have time.
But I swear I saw Aaron.
He had the same hair.
Same gait.
Same long board.
Same sort of long board.
Similar face.
Wasn't him.
I ran through the back door of the media center.
Turn the corner and yelled AARON!
Wasn't him.
He turned around,
I just said, crap youre not him.
And ran back to the back door.
And hid my head,
Because I was that girl...
Now just as some context.
Aaron and Lane lived next to Hallie and I sophomore year and we all became great friends.
And I stayed friends with them after all the craziness of last year.
And I don't get to see them very often because they are busy little enginerds and hardly ever go out and just don't have time.
But I swear I saw Aaron.
He had the same hair.
Same gait.
Same long board.
Same sort of long board.
Similar face.
Wasn't him.
I ran through the back door of the media center.
Turn the corner and yelled AARON!
Wasn't him.
He turned around,
I just said, crap youre not him.
And ran back to the back door.
And hid my head,
Because I was that girl...
Nothing can ruin my day today
So that Wednesday was just a particularly good day.
For some odd reason.
And I literally could not get in a bad mood.
Which is really weird because I can get set off by just about anything.
And that day I was exceptionally happy.
For some crazy reason.
Like I had to present my video in my video class and it was less than stellar.
It had been thrown together.
And it wasnt that good.
But I took everything with a grain of salt.
And it was okay.
I don't know.
I just had an oddly good day.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Dad.
My father is a wonderful man.
And as of October 13th, 2015, he has been on this earth for 50 years.
A moment that happened just this past summer that fully sums up my dad and I's relationship was when I was laid off from a job.
The first person I called was my dad, and I was crying those ugly tears.
Like snot and make up all over the place type of crying.
And I just sobbed it out.
And dad being the typical engineer that he is, wanted to fix it.
So he called my manager and tried to get a clearer answer out of her as to why I was laid off.
He wasn't able to squeeze much more out of her.
So I get this call about 20 minutes after the first call, and he just goes "So I talked to your manager..."
And from there I heard how he tried to get some more information out of her.
But the actual unbridled thought to go a protect his girl and fight for her has stuck with me.
I was unsatisfied with how it ended and he just knew I wouldn't be able to move on without some answers.
So he went and tried to get them for me.
And even though he was not as successful.
This was an even that sort of represents our relationship as a whole.
Now I was never an easy child.
To start off, I spent my first year and a half of life in between my parents.
Yeah just imagine having a little high maintenance baby that didn't sleep through the night, with mind you a huge scar on her back, between you and your wife for that amount of time.
Between cardiologist visits and also having a heart that was easily broken by a misplaced word, he had his work cut out with me.
Owen was the much easier child.
He slept in his own bed and through the night.
I know my dad always wanted to have both boys and girls as his children.
But something just clicked with me I guess.
We just have always known how each other works.
Like I know I've said that my mom and I are emotionally similar.
But I do have similarities with my dad.
We both learn very similarly and I've recently figured out that I might have a slight learning disability and he thinks he might too.
Like we might both be slightly dyslexic.
And I guess just knowing that there is someone so close to you that experiences the world similarly to the way that you do, is a great relief.
Like we just chat about how we each learn.
And it's fascinating.
I've always questioned my worth and I tend to overthink just about everything.
Dad is one of the few people in my life that can just quiet my mind.
Like I can finally catch a breath from myself.
And he has always been there to hear my concerns whether it be about boys or school or friends or even the future.
Because I worry about the future a lot.
I think what I get most from my dad is his ability to fix things.
Words can only go so far sometimes, but having someone say, "yes I can fix that" or "yes I can help you with that" just eases my mind.
I have this innate need to fix and repair and try to make something work more efficiently.
See you thought I was just an English major with no real science or math talent.
But I've gotten the engineering drive to fix anything that is thrown my way.
If I ever just need someone to listen to me as I cry something out, he's the one that will listen.
He restores my confidence and then inspires me to fight for what I need.
Like a few weeks ago when that one person decided to cross me and be unnecessarily mean, yep you can bet the reason I got back up and fought for my voice was because of a phone call from him.
He has taught me its fine to be a princess and live in that world, but you also need to be able to stand up and fight for yourself.
He refuses to let me be pushed around or back down.
He has always seen the fighter in me even when I don't see it or believe it
As a child I never engaged in the nightly wrestling matches that my siblings would get in.
I just never liked that,
But we would always snuggle and read a book or just hang out for a bit.
I also know that I have high standards for anyone who decides to embark on a relationship with me. And its all because of my parents.
I expect a lot from them and in term I expect them to expect a lot from me.
My parents are definitely a team.
I would like a partner to share my life with.
And equal give and take just as they have.
A few weeks ago we were talking in the hypothetical sense about the person that I would fall for and would have to keep up with me.
I move fast and my mind is in a million different places at once and I have probably a thousand triggers.
I am not the easiest person.
But he sees that all as normal.
My siblings seem to have a much easier time with relationships and I am always the oddball.
They can gracefully move from one relationship to the next with a few months in between seemingly unscathed.
I however scar and remember and overthink.
But dad sees hope in my uniqueness.
That it takes me longer to be happy.
That I don't settle and that is perfectly fine.
I'm not saying that my siblings settle, its just they have an easier time attracting quality people where as I have to weed through more.
But when I talk about my future spouse, he is sure that I will not end up alone.
That even though i'm a challenge and difficult its all worth it.
So what I think is the most important piece that i've learned from my dad is, is that differences make you stronger.
Being tough and not settling and having different intelligences makes you special.
That you are worthy of love even when you may not feel like you are.
Thanks dad for loving me, protecting me and believing in me through thick and thin.
Here's to many more years of laughs and thoughtful conversations.
And as of October 13th, 2015, he has been on this earth for 50 years.
A moment that happened just this past summer that fully sums up my dad and I's relationship was when I was laid off from a job.
The first person I called was my dad, and I was crying those ugly tears.
Like snot and make up all over the place type of crying.
And I just sobbed it out.
And dad being the typical engineer that he is, wanted to fix it.
So he called my manager and tried to get a clearer answer out of her as to why I was laid off.
He wasn't able to squeeze much more out of her.
So I get this call about 20 minutes after the first call, and he just goes "So I talked to your manager..."
And from there I heard how he tried to get some more information out of her.
But the actual unbridled thought to go a protect his girl and fight for her has stuck with me.
I was unsatisfied with how it ended and he just knew I wouldn't be able to move on without some answers.
So he went and tried to get them for me.
And even though he was not as successful.
This was an even that sort of represents our relationship as a whole.
Now I was never an easy child.
To start off, I spent my first year and a half of life in between my parents.
Yeah just imagine having a little high maintenance baby that didn't sleep through the night, with mind you a huge scar on her back, between you and your wife for that amount of time.
Between cardiologist visits and also having a heart that was easily broken by a misplaced word, he had his work cut out with me.
Owen was the much easier child.
He slept in his own bed and through the night.
I know my dad always wanted to have both boys and girls as his children.
But something just clicked with me I guess.
We just have always known how each other works.
Like I know I've said that my mom and I are emotionally similar.
But I do have similarities with my dad.
We both learn very similarly and I've recently figured out that I might have a slight learning disability and he thinks he might too.
Like we might both be slightly dyslexic.
And I guess just knowing that there is someone so close to you that experiences the world similarly to the way that you do, is a great relief.
Like we just chat about how we each learn.
And it's fascinating.
I've always questioned my worth and I tend to overthink just about everything.
Dad is one of the few people in my life that can just quiet my mind.
Like I can finally catch a breath from myself.
And he has always been there to hear my concerns whether it be about boys or school or friends or even the future.
Because I worry about the future a lot.
I think what I get most from my dad is his ability to fix things.
Words can only go so far sometimes, but having someone say, "yes I can fix that" or "yes I can help you with that" just eases my mind.
I have this innate need to fix and repair and try to make something work more efficiently.
See you thought I was just an English major with no real science or math talent.
But I've gotten the engineering drive to fix anything that is thrown my way.
If I ever just need someone to listen to me as I cry something out, he's the one that will listen.
He restores my confidence and then inspires me to fight for what I need.
Like a few weeks ago when that one person decided to cross me and be unnecessarily mean, yep you can bet the reason I got back up and fought for my voice was because of a phone call from him.
He has taught me its fine to be a princess and live in that world, but you also need to be able to stand up and fight for yourself.
He refuses to let me be pushed around or back down.
He has always seen the fighter in me even when I don't see it or believe it
As a child I never engaged in the nightly wrestling matches that my siblings would get in.
I just never liked that,
But we would always snuggle and read a book or just hang out for a bit.
I also know that I have high standards for anyone who decides to embark on a relationship with me. And its all because of my parents.
I expect a lot from them and in term I expect them to expect a lot from me.
My parents are definitely a team.
I would like a partner to share my life with.
And equal give and take just as they have.
A few weeks ago we were talking in the hypothetical sense about the person that I would fall for and would have to keep up with me.
I move fast and my mind is in a million different places at once and I have probably a thousand triggers.
I am not the easiest person.
But he sees that all as normal.
My siblings seem to have a much easier time with relationships and I am always the oddball.
They can gracefully move from one relationship to the next with a few months in between seemingly unscathed.
I however scar and remember and overthink.
But dad sees hope in my uniqueness.
That it takes me longer to be happy.
That I don't settle and that is perfectly fine.
I'm not saying that my siblings settle, its just they have an easier time attracting quality people where as I have to weed through more.
But when I talk about my future spouse, he is sure that I will not end up alone.
That even though i'm a challenge and difficult its all worth it.
So what I think is the most important piece that i've learned from my dad is, is that differences make you stronger.
Being tough and not settling and having different intelligences makes you special.
That you are worthy of love even when you may not feel like you are.
Thanks dad for loving me, protecting me and believing in me through thick and thin.
Here's to many more years of laughs and thoughtful conversations.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Suprising
There are very few things in this life that are good surprises.
This is just a hint to all those reading this and who may care about me. I freaking love surprise parties and my birthday is in a month and 12 days.
But getting genuinely surprised.
Now that is magic.
So we switched over to the new store on October 1st.
And it had been a crazy few weeks...
And then the new boss wanted to have a staff meeting.
Somehow I missed the whole that not only were we having a staff meeting, but we were also getting to pick out a sweater from the store to keep, and go out to dinner and just have a lovely evening.
I know i'm always saying that I don't get along with women all that often.
But sometimes I do need my estrogen fix.
Like gossipping and giggling estrogen fix.
And thats what we got.
And Brittney and I just look at each other after.
And we know, it was good to stay on through the transition.
Sure its been crazy.
But damn its been a fun ride.
This is just a hint to all those reading this and who may care about me. I freaking love surprise parties and my birthday is in a month and 12 days.
But getting genuinely surprised.
Now that is magic.
So we switched over to the new store on October 1st.
And it had been a crazy few weeks...
And then the new boss wanted to have a staff meeting.
Somehow I missed the whole that not only were we having a staff meeting, but we were also getting to pick out a sweater from the store to keep, and go out to dinner and just have a lovely evening.
I know i'm always saying that I don't get along with women all that often.
But sometimes I do need my estrogen fix.
Like gossipping and giggling estrogen fix.
And thats what we got.
And Brittney and I just look at each other after.
And we know, it was good to stay on through the transition.
Sure its been crazy.
But damn its been a fun ride.
Seniority
KC and I decided to do senior pictures.
Even though they turned out similar to engagement pictures.
And it was just the two of us so it was a lot of focusing the camera, putting on the timer and running to pose.
Lots of good faces.
But I remember just like yesterday doing senior pictures for high school.
And here I am.
Doing my own.
Graduating from college in May.
Still very much inside the girl that I was 4 years ago.
But in many ways the woman that has changed into something more.
I remember stressing over my speech for graduation.
And causing drama in marching band.
And stressing about being single.
Some days I still think i'm going to end up alone.
But for the most part i'm content with what the world wants to throw at me.
Because I have grown and fought for this seniority.
And I am in my own skin.
And I wish that KC wasn't graduating early because our relationship has grown with our time together.
And I will miss her so much.
But she is moving on.
And soon I will too after her.
And it will be okay.
Even though they turned out similar to engagement pictures.
And it was just the two of us so it was a lot of focusing the camera, putting on the timer and running to pose.
Lots of good faces.
But I remember just like yesterday doing senior pictures for high school.
And here I am.
Doing my own.
Graduating from college in May.
Still very much inside the girl that I was 4 years ago.
But in many ways the woman that has changed into something more.
I remember stressing over my speech for graduation.
And causing drama in marching band.
And stressing about being single.
Some days I still think i'm going to end up alone.
But for the most part i'm content with what the world wants to throw at me.
Because I have grown and fought for this seniority.
And I am in my own skin.
And I wish that KC wasn't graduating early because our relationship has grown with our time together.
And I will miss her so much.
But she is moving on.
And soon I will too after her.
And it will be okay.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Just relax
So KC and I have had our own little adventures over the years.
Like quite a few.
We have the best time out most of the time.
Except when i'm in one of my weird moods where when boys don't pay as much attention to me.
Then I get sad and jealous.
It's not cute.
Well I have moods.
As we all do.
Well sometimes I get into a mood and I just cant get out of it.
Well this was one of the times where I was in a mood.
And then KC and I went out.
And I was just not relaxed.
And oh so uptight as the usual capricorn that I am.
And I was the DD.
So I was especially uptight because at least with even the slightest bit of alcohol my shoulders that are usually up by my ears have come down from their towers.
I'm an uptight person and when an evening doesnt go as planned.
And I get jealous when i'm out and I don't get the same attention as my friends from those of the male persuasion.
I know its sad.
And I shouldnt care.
But when I get into a whirlwind its hard to get out.
And it was one of those uptight nights.
And it was not cute.
But I came out of it realizing that I should stop looking so much down on people.
Sometimes I need to go with the flow.
Let my damn hair down and just relax and not over think what people are thinking of me.
Its okay to just be me.
So next time. It'll be better.
Like quite a few.
We have the best time out most of the time.
Except when i'm in one of my weird moods where when boys don't pay as much attention to me.
Then I get sad and jealous.
It's not cute.
Well I have moods.
As we all do.
Well sometimes I get into a mood and I just cant get out of it.
Well this was one of the times where I was in a mood.
And then KC and I went out.
And I was just not relaxed.
And oh so uptight as the usual capricorn that I am.
And I was the DD.
So I was especially uptight because at least with even the slightest bit of alcohol my shoulders that are usually up by my ears have come down from their towers.
I'm an uptight person and when an evening doesnt go as planned.
And I get jealous when i'm out and I don't get the same attention as my friends from those of the male persuasion.
I know its sad.
And I shouldnt care.
But when I get into a whirlwind its hard to get out.
And it was one of those uptight nights.
And it was not cute.
But I came out of it realizing that I should stop looking so much down on people.
Sometimes I need to go with the flow.
Let my damn hair down and just relax and not over think what people are thinking of me.
Its okay to just be me.
So next time. It'll be better.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Just let me drink my tea
One of my favorite places is the White Dragon Tea room which is oddly right next door to where I used to work and right across the street of where I currently work.
Durango I tell ya.
But if you've never been in there you need to check it out before its gone!
I love going there to just hang out and unwind after a crazy week.
The cute high stools that you perch on as the men make my tea.
The crazy array of teas that you can try.
My favorite it Tumeric Ginger!
Absolutely amazing and its like a warm hug whilst it goes down your throat.
So stinking good.
And most of the reason I go is because I can hang out with the guys and gossip.
And thats the only place I get to see them so I have to savour my moments with my tea men.
And I do.
Casey, Matt, Josh, Ben and Thunder.
Gotta love my tea men that make me amazing and delightful tea whenever i go in.
I always leave smiling.
Thanks guys,
I love you all very much.
And I will miss that sacred space.
Durango I tell ya.
But if you've never been in there you need to check it out before its gone!
I love going there to just hang out and unwind after a crazy week.
The cute high stools that you perch on as the men make my tea.
The crazy array of teas that you can try.
My favorite it Tumeric Ginger!
Absolutely amazing and its like a warm hug whilst it goes down your throat.
So stinking good.
And most of the reason I go is because I can hang out with the guys and gossip.
And thats the only place I get to see them so I have to savour my moments with my tea men.
And I do.
Casey, Matt, Josh, Ben and Thunder.
Gotta love my tea men that make me amazing and delightful tea whenever i go in.
I always leave smiling.
Thanks guys,
I love you all very much.
And I will miss that sacred space.
Sometimes you just need Dad to tell you everything will be alright
Well this particular day was quite hard.
It had been a crazy week and I was stressed to the max.
It seemed like my life was going to hell in a hand basket.
My op ed was too opinionated and I had zero and I mean zero time to fix it.
My damn op ed was too opinionated.
Me being too opinionated?
Never!
And I had 3 million things to do.
And then someone decided to be a full on b.
And I cried.
And then I went to class, tried to stand up for myself.
Didn't work.
Got out early.
Felt defeated
Locked myself in a room.
Called dad.
When I in doubt call the parental units.
And I called Dad at work.
Told him the situation.
He comforted me and then told me to go stand up for myself and kick some ass because this was not okay.
And I did just that.
I had cried off all my make up.
Cleaned up myself slightly.
Found KC.
Pulled myself together and put on some make up.
And then I kicked ass and took names.
Because no one crosses Julia Grace Volzke without my consent,
No one makes Julia Grace Volzke look stupid ever.
No one ever will.
Because I do it all by myself.
So if you are the person reading this and you know who you are.
I have a great memory and I never forget.
It had been a crazy week and I was stressed to the max.
It seemed like my life was going to hell in a hand basket.
My op ed was too opinionated and I had zero and I mean zero time to fix it.
My damn op ed was too opinionated.
Me being too opinionated?
Never!
And I had 3 million things to do.
And then someone decided to be a full on b.
And I cried.
And then I went to class, tried to stand up for myself.
Didn't work.
Got out early.
Felt defeated
Locked myself in a room.
Called dad.
When I in doubt call the parental units.
And I called Dad at work.
Told him the situation.
He comforted me and then told me to go stand up for myself and kick some ass because this was not okay.
And I did just that.
I had cried off all my make up.
Cleaned up myself slightly.
Found KC.
Pulled myself together and put on some make up.
And then I kicked ass and took names.
Because no one crosses Julia Grace Volzke without my consent,
No one makes Julia Grace Volzke look stupid ever.
No one ever will.
Because I do it all by myself.
So if you are the person reading this and you know who you are.
I have a great memory and I never forget.
That's my face right there
THE FIRST NEW REDESIGN OF THE INDEPENDENT CAME OUT AND ITS SO EXCITING!
Something about having your face in an actual printed copy just makes it so much better.
Like this is something I love so much that I will let a semi okay picture of my special face be put into an issue and printed and then read and looked at by people.
That says something to keep with something even though SOMEHOW SOMEONE DIDN'T CATCH THAT MY LAST NAME WAS MISSPELLED
Guys its v o l z k e
Not v o l t z k e
Not v o l s k i
VOLZKE
Come on guys
But other then that I am very very extremely proud of what I accomplished.
And what we made because we kicked ass and took names.
So there!
Is your name and picture in a printed copy of something that people pick up and read?
No?
Well get it there!
Something about having your face in an actual printed copy just makes it so much better.
Like this is something I love so much that I will let a semi okay picture of my special face be put into an issue and printed and then read and looked at by people.
That says something to keep with something even though SOMEHOW SOMEONE DIDN'T CATCH THAT MY LAST NAME WAS MISSPELLED
Guys its v o l z k e
Not v o l t z k e
Not v o l s k i
VOLZKE
Come on guys
But other then that I am very very extremely proud of what I accomplished.
And what we made because we kicked ass and took names.
So there!
Is your name and picture in a printed copy of something that people pick up and read?
No?
Well get it there!
I just don't test well
You know how everyone has their strengths?
Well one of mine is not taking tests.
If you were wondering.
Its not my strength.
I focus best by having non vocal music.
If there is music with talking or singing I cant focus because there are too many words.
I start typing what i'm hearing.
And I stress myself out as well.
But I had a test that particular day in get this Spanish..
Well I went to go take it.
And it was nerve wracking and it felt like I was typing word vomit.
Like legitimate word vomit.
And I left feeling like I just had thrown up over the test.
Like I just knew my thoughts didnt come out the way I wanted.
So there.
I am different and I need special circumstances to test just because I study differently.
So there you go.
Well one of mine is not taking tests.
If you were wondering.
Its not my strength.
I focus best by having non vocal music.
If there is music with talking or singing I cant focus because there are too many words.
I start typing what i'm hearing.
And I stress myself out as well.
But I had a test that particular day in get this Spanish..
Well I went to go take it.
And it was nerve wracking and it felt like I was typing word vomit.
Like legitimate word vomit.
And I left feeling like I just had thrown up over the test.
Like I just knew my thoughts didnt come out the way I wanted.
So there.
I am different and I need special circumstances to test just because I study differently.
So there you go.
Monday, October 12, 2015
I need like 32 hours in the day
Each year that i've aged i've noticed how the days just seem to pass me by.
Like I think i'll have tons of time and then suddenly its all gone and its midnight and I still need to read this one thing.
Yeah i'm still working on my life.
But like 8 extra hours wouldnt hurt.
I could sleep some more.
Have a few more extra hours before work to actually eat and wake up.
We all know i'm not nice in the mornings so actually having time would be great.
Because currently my bed is the most constant and stable relationship I have.
We sleep together.
I am happier after.
And all is well.
I love my bed.
And now I truly understand what people mean when they say enjoy the time you have because it will pass by so fast.
Like it feels like a minute ago I was graduating from highschool and at prom.
Holy crap i'm old.
and I need more time.
Like I think i'll have tons of time and then suddenly its all gone and its midnight and I still need to read this one thing.
Yeah i'm still working on my life.
But like 8 extra hours wouldnt hurt.
I could sleep some more.
Have a few more extra hours before work to actually eat and wake up.
We all know i'm not nice in the mornings so actually having time would be great.
Because currently my bed is the most constant and stable relationship I have.
We sleep together.
I am happier after.
And all is well.
I love my bed.
And now I truly understand what people mean when they say enjoy the time you have because it will pass by so fast.
Like it feels like a minute ago I was graduating from highschool and at prom.
Holy crap i'm old.
and I need more time.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Yeah, i'm not that type of female.
Okay lets just put all women in the same sort of category.
Lets call all women apples.
You there are your red delicious apples and your granny smith and your fuji apples.
So were all apples.
All beautiful and different.
But there are different varieties and they are all great in their own way.
Well so my new boss is one of those women that just gets along with other women really well.
Like there is a legitimate horde of extremely friendly "girlfriends"
Now i'm one of those women that gets along with men really well.
Pretty much any male I can get along with in some manner.
My dad and I are close and i'm a daddy's girl and it just works.
I get along with men.
So it just baffles me when I find another woman that gets along with women so well.
Women are mean.
We are not nice.
I mean I have like 10 females that I regularly get along with.
And I get along with most people.
But I don't really have like a horde of "girlfriends"
See shes like a great little red delicious
And i'm just like a nice pink lady.
We are both good and fine apples.
Were just different.
And that is okay.
I just don't understand how women can have so many friends that are females.
Serious conundrum.
Lets call all women apples.
You there are your red delicious apples and your granny smith and your fuji apples.
So were all apples.
All beautiful and different.
But there are different varieties and they are all great in their own way.
Well so my new boss is one of those women that just gets along with other women really well.
Like there is a legitimate horde of extremely friendly "girlfriends"
Now i'm one of those women that gets along with men really well.
Pretty much any male I can get along with in some manner.
My dad and I are close and i'm a daddy's girl and it just works.
I get along with men.
So it just baffles me when I find another woman that gets along with women so well.
Women are mean.
We are not nice.
I mean I have like 10 females that I regularly get along with.
And I get along with most people.
But I don't really have like a horde of "girlfriends"
See shes like a great little red delicious
And i'm just like a nice pink lady.
We are both good and fine apples.
Were just different.
And that is okay.
I just don't understand how women can have so many friends that are females.
Serious conundrum.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
And now I shall go nap nap
So when I'm tired I turn into the worlds largest three year old.
No joke.
Everything is harder when i'm tired.
And I didnt get much sleep saturday night because KC and I decided to go out.
And of course I had to work at 10 am.
Good life choices right there.
And then!
THERE WAS A PARADE
A stupid cowboy parade.
Of all things to have.
And do you know how difficult it is to find parking in Durango when there is a parade and it blocks one of the main intersections??
Nearly impossible.
I planned on getting coffee but that didn't happen because everyone decided they didn't know how to drive or park.
So I was 5 minutes late.
Don't worry the new boss was fine with it.
So I finally get there and its pretty slow because you know there's a parade and all.
And i'm tired because I got to sleep late and I didn't sleep well at all.
And people are still coming in shopping where there is a lady riding a steer down the street.
Just perusing the sweaters.
And one lady inadvertently called me dumb.
I hope you never come back.
I didn't know the full extent of the materials used for this one new necklace.
Oh. My. Goodness.
And after the parade, everyone, their mother and their goldfish come in.
And i'm all by myself.
IT was insane.
But soon enough 2:00 rolls around.
I slug back to my car.
Drive home.
Take off my glasses and take a nap.
And it was glorious.
No joke.
Everything is harder when i'm tired.
And I didnt get much sleep saturday night because KC and I decided to go out.
And of course I had to work at 10 am.
Good life choices right there.
And then!
THERE WAS A PARADE
A stupid cowboy parade.
Of all things to have.
And do you know how difficult it is to find parking in Durango when there is a parade and it blocks one of the main intersections??
Nearly impossible.
I planned on getting coffee but that didn't happen because everyone decided they didn't know how to drive or park.
So I was 5 minutes late.
Don't worry the new boss was fine with it.
So I finally get there and its pretty slow because you know there's a parade and all.
And i'm tired because I got to sleep late and I didn't sleep well at all.
And people are still coming in shopping where there is a lady riding a steer down the street.
Just perusing the sweaters.
And one lady inadvertently called me dumb.
I hope you never come back.
I didn't know the full extent of the materials used for this one new necklace.
Oh. My. Goodness.
And after the parade, everyone, their mother and their goldfish come in.
And i'm all by myself.
IT was insane.
But soon enough 2:00 rolls around.
I slug back to my car.
Drive home.
Take off my glasses and take a nap.
And it was glorious.
I am far too tall and too old for these shennanigans
Okay so last weekend was homecoming.
For Fort Lewis.
Which pretty much means a regular week with more games that people don't go to and more events that people sort of attend.
Well I was bound and determined to go this year to the homecoming shenanigans.
BECAUSE ITS MY LAST ONE!
WOOOHOOOO
Well I went to the homecoming bonfire with KC and the roommate in tow.
Lovely and hot as you'd expect.
Met up with some other friends.
And we were all glad that the fire dancers didn't get caught on fire all too often.
I mean come on, you took up fire dancing.
They got singed.
And then after was a homecoming dance.
Which was very different from the dances I experienced in high school.
Except everyone was a whole hell of a lot more awkward.
There was ZERO grinding.
Unless you count KC and the roommate trying to get all sexy up on me.
Because we all know i'm a great dancer.
And that I totally fit in the crowd of people that are around 4 inches shorter than me at least.
And that I do not have awkwardly long limbs that make me stand out.
And everything to do with dancing and coordination and grace just goes out the window.
And not only that but I only really went to the dance because I have friends that are RA's and they were putting it on.
So I had to to support them.
And there were a ton of freshman and i'm just there like,
I cannot do anything with any of them because they are all Claires age and that is weird.
So yes uneventful night of fun and awkward dancing and feeling old.
But hell at least I went.
And had some weird looks but that is totally fine.
For Fort Lewis.
Which pretty much means a regular week with more games that people don't go to and more events that people sort of attend.
Well I was bound and determined to go this year to the homecoming shenanigans.
BECAUSE ITS MY LAST ONE!
WOOOHOOOO
Well I went to the homecoming bonfire with KC and the roommate in tow.
Lovely and hot as you'd expect.
Met up with some other friends.
And we were all glad that the fire dancers didn't get caught on fire all too often.
I mean come on, you took up fire dancing.
They got singed.
And then after was a homecoming dance.
Which was very different from the dances I experienced in high school.
Except everyone was a whole hell of a lot more awkward.
There was ZERO grinding.
Unless you count KC and the roommate trying to get all sexy up on me.
Because we all know i'm a great dancer.
And that I totally fit in the crowd of people that are around 4 inches shorter than me at least.
And that I do not have awkwardly long limbs that make me stand out.
And everything to do with dancing and coordination and grace just goes out the window.
And not only that but I only really went to the dance because I have friends that are RA's and they were putting it on.
So I had to to support them.
And there were a ton of freshman and i'm just there like,
I cannot do anything with any of them because they are all Claires age and that is weird.
So yes uneventful night of fun and awkward dancing and feeling old.
But hell at least I went.
And had some weird looks but that is totally fine.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
How not to win over a bassoonist
First off.
The word bassoon has 2 S's and 2 O's.
Is that so hard for people to comprehend??
I had quite the comical experience today.
I got an email from my conductor asking if some of the members in our band wouldn't mind playing in the San Juan Youth Symphony Orchestra.
Yes.
Well I look at the time commitments, think about my schedule and decided I can't fit it all in without going crazy.
And then just on a whim I look at the instrumentation they need.
Of course they need my instrument.
I mean it is Durango, and there are not very many musicians in this town, much less a bassoonist.
BUT here is the catch.
The other conductor wasn't looking for 2 bassoons.
He was looking for 2 bassons.
.
..
...
..
.
This guy is a director.
He has dealt with all different types of instruments and music all his life.
And he forgets an O in bassoon.
Which seeing as we are already forgotten as it is, and they do need 2 bassoonists, isn't really winning over anyone with that he can't spell a damn instrument that he needs.
I'm just saying, if you want musicians, be able to spell the name of their instrument correctly.
I emailed my director back, told him of the grammatical error and he responded in his normal fashion with "Not cool."
My thoughts exactly Dr. Walters.
The word bassoon has 2 S's and 2 O's.
Is that so hard for people to comprehend??
I had quite the comical experience today.
I got an email from my conductor asking if some of the members in our band wouldn't mind playing in the San Juan Youth Symphony Orchestra.
Yes.
Well I look at the time commitments, think about my schedule and decided I can't fit it all in without going crazy.
And then just on a whim I look at the instrumentation they need.
Of course they need my instrument.
I mean it is Durango, and there are not very many musicians in this town, much less a bassoonist.
BUT here is the catch.
The other conductor wasn't looking for 2 bassoons.
He was looking for 2 bassons.
.
..
...
..
.
This guy is a director.
He has dealt with all different types of instruments and music all his life.
And he forgets an O in bassoon.
Which seeing as we are already forgotten as it is, and they do need 2 bassoonists, isn't really winning over anyone with that he can't spell a damn instrument that he needs.
I'm just saying, if you want musicians, be able to spell the name of their instrument correctly.
I emailed my director back, told him of the grammatical error and he responded in his normal fashion with "Not cool."
My thoughts exactly Dr. Walters.
Change and the fiercest of warriors
So, Wednesday September 30th 2015 was my last day at Renae Marie.
It has now been sold to a new owner and now its called Lively.
Pretty much the same boutique minus some changes but I now no longer work for a person I consider to be one of the best bosses I have ever worked for.
Renae was like yet another woman that has randomly adopted me.
She was and still is in many ways very similar to my own mother.
She wasn't a boss but a friend.
And I really admired how she treated all of us.
Like we were a family.
And when I messed up (which was quite often) she taught me and was kind.
That goes a long way with me.
But now I work for another nice lady named Johnna.
And I hope to god she is as wonderful as Renae.
So it may be different, but all the hard work Renae put into it and the love I can still feel.
So i'm glad to have a job at the same store.
But i'm sad to see Renae go.
On to another adventure my friend.
Another thing that happened yesterday was that a dear friend of mine went into surgery and now has a clean bill of health.
She will be back next semester and everyone in the Indy and in the English department was thrilled to hear that.
She is beloved and I wish her the very best with her recovery.
She has always fought for us,
Put a fire in our bellies.
Made us proud to be journalists.
Hugged us ,even though some of us are a good couple inches taller, when we needed a hug the most.
My very first article for the indy I was overwhelmed and I didnt have any friends yet and she came up and asked me how I was doing and I said fine and then started to tear up and she pulled me into a back room and hugged me and helped me.
I had only had her as a professor for a few weeks and she had convinced me to take on the Indy and yet she still cared for me for only knowing me a short time.
She saw something in me and believed in me as a journalist when I seriously doubted myself and my abilities.
And half the reason I stayed was because of her.
Because I wanted to belong to an entity that believed in people and saw something more than just a person in a chair.
And now i'm part of this organization and I couldn't be more proud.
When I was having boy troubles last year, she was there.
The morning after a terrible day prior I came to class and she could just tell.
I had to ask her about something after class and she asked if I was okay.
Well as usual I kept it together for around 2 seconds and then I burst into weeping tears.
Full on ugly crying.
She stood on her tip toes and held me and told me everything would be alright and that I didn't need him in my life. I would find someone better.
See the thing with her is that she never dishes out shallow compliments.
She is always genuine and true.
And after a few minutes I pulled myself together enough to be able to walk out of the room.
And after that whenever she saw the guy she gave him a nasty look.
I'm not sure if that was her intention but it worked for me.
She protects the ones she loves.
And she adopts all of us in some way or another.
So stay strong and come back to us.
We need our adoptive "mom" back next semester.
So get better and we cant wait to have you back with us.
It has now been sold to a new owner and now its called Lively.
Pretty much the same boutique minus some changes but I now no longer work for a person I consider to be one of the best bosses I have ever worked for.
Renae was like yet another woman that has randomly adopted me.
She was and still is in many ways very similar to my own mother.
She wasn't a boss but a friend.
And I really admired how she treated all of us.
Like we were a family.
And when I messed up (which was quite often) she taught me and was kind.
That goes a long way with me.
But now I work for another nice lady named Johnna.
And I hope to god she is as wonderful as Renae.
So it may be different, but all the hard work Renae put into it and the love I can still feel.
So i'm glad to have a job at the same store.
But i'm sad to see Renae go.
On to another adventure my friend.
Another thing that happened yesterday was that a dear friend of mine went into surgery and now has a clean bill of health.
She will be back next semester and everyone in the Indy and in the English department was thrilled to hear that.
She is beloved and I wish her the very best with her recovery.
She has always fought for us,
Put a fire in our bellies.
Made us proud to be journalists.
Hugged us ,even though some of us are a good couple inches taller, when we needed a hug the most.
My very first article for the indy I was overwhelmed and I didnt have any friends yet and she came up and asked me how I was doing and I said fine and then started to tear up and she pulled me into a back room and hugged me and helped me.
I had only had her as a professor for a few weeks and she had convinced me to take on the Indy and yet she still cared for me for only knowing me a short time.
She saw something in me and believed in me as a journalist when I seriously doubted myself and my abilities.
And half the reason I stayed was because of her.
Because I wanted to belong to an entity that believed in people and saw something more than just a person in a chair.
And now i'm part of this organization and I couldn't be more proud.
When I was having boy troubles last year, she was there.
The morning after a terrible day prior I came to class and she could just tell.
I had to ask her about something after class and she asked if I was okay.
Well as usual I kept it together for around 2 seconds and then I burst into weeping tears.
Full on ugly crying.
She stood on her tip toes and held me and told me everything would be alright and that I didn't need him in my life. I would find someone better.
See the thing with her is that she never dishes out shallow compliments.
She is always genuine and true.
And after a few minutes I pulled myself together enough to be able to walk out of the room.
And after that whenever she saw the guy she gave him a nasty look.
I'm not sure if that was her intention but it worked for me.
She protects the ones she loves.
And she adopts all of us in some way or another.
So stay strong and come back to us.
We need our adoptive "mom" back next semester.
So get better and we cant wait to have you back with us.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
"Stop stalking our teacher"
I'm not really stalking my teacher.
But I swear I've seen my Spanish professor out in public like 3 times in the past week.
I hardly ever see anyone else ever.
And I've seen him at the store twice in the past month.
We must just have the same schedule.
And most of the time when I see him, I see him and then I realize its him and I hide or turn around and hope to god he didn't see me.
Like that man and I must just go to the store and have the same sort of routine.
Well today it caught me off guard because I was at the store in my own little world getting the last thing I needed.
Icecream.
And he waltz's on by.
And says "Hi Julia".
I turn around and realize its him.
Say Hi.
And then ask why I always see him at the store?
Which is just awkward because I just admitted that I see him and don't say hi.
And he replies with "I never see you at the store"
Yeah that happened...
And I grab my ice cream, say bye, and hurriedly walk away and check out.
And hope to god I don't see him anymore.
Last Friday KC and I saw him at Joel's and there was this girl that was digging her claws into him and flirting hardcore.
And we were just over in the corner snickering
So I always see Diego in public.
Which is just peachy...
And I swear i'm not stalking him.
But I swear I've seen my Spanish professor out in public like 3 times in the past week.
I hardly ever see anyone else ever.
And I've seen him at the store twice in the past month.
We must just have the same schedule.
And most of the time when I see him, I see him and then I realize its him and I hide or turn around and hope to god he didn't see me.
Like that man and I must just go to the store and have the same sort of routine.
Well today it caught me off guard because I was at the store in my own little world getting the last thing I needed.
Icecream.
And he waltz's on by.
And says "Hi Julia".
I turn around and realize its him.
Say Hi.
And then ask why I always see him at the store?
Which is just awkward because I just admitted that I see him and don't say hi.
And he replies with "I never see you at the store"
Yeah that happened...
And I grab my ice cream, say bye, and hurriedly walk away and check out.
And hope to god I don't see him anymore.
Last Friday KC and I saw him at Joel's and there was this girl that was digging her claws into him and flirting hardcore.
And we were just over in the corner snickering
So I always see Diego in public.
Which is just peachy...
And I swear i'm not stalking him.
Monday, September 28, 2015
I whip my hair back and forth
So a few years ago when the music video I Whip My Hair by Willow Smith came out.
My dad saw and decided to take his own version on it.
Now just as an FYI, my dad does not have much hair at all.
Hes mostly bald.
So when he whipped his hair he was most just shaking his head with its 1/2 inch of hair.
It was pretty histerical.
So I got my hair cut which is a big deal because i've had it long for a really long time.
But I just wanted something new.
So its about 6 inches shorter.
And now I can dry my hair in a reasonable ammount of time.
And its not so hot.
And I have the damn cutest little pony tail.
And I can still do stuff with it hair.
So today I walk into band i'm like "notice anything different"
And start whipping my hair around.
Even the guys got it in like 5 seconds which is a miracle because usually it takes them a minute when I change something and i'm being overly obvious.
The girls got it right away.
But good job bassoon nerd guys.
So yes I am sporting a shorter do and its lovely
To Cure
So for the past 4 years my family has attended the race for the cure in Denver.
My mom if you didn't know is a breast cancer survivor and during her first race she was bald and had a little pink cap on and was going through chemo treatments.
I have missed every year since school is 6 hours away.
But I was checking in earlier last week and mom said something along the lines of "well you're going to be home next year right?"
That is the plan.
My family is back in Denver and I miss being part of family events.
And I miss being home.
And having home cooked meals.
And celebrating birthdays.
But just recently i've really realized the importance of a cure for cancer.
So many people have been touched by this.
And awareness is key.
Hell I check myself a couple times a week.
I've thought about going to get a mammogram just because my mom had it.
And there is a test to see if you are a higher test of getting breast cancer so I might get that done in the next few years.
Because I will have a voluntary double mastectomy if it means I do not need to worry and that I can be around for all those moments for the future generations.
Boobs are just mounds of fat.
Family is worth so much more than filling out a dress or looking normal.
I'll just add to my scars.
And that will be cool.
But a cure.
To cure something.
To eradicate something that has plagued and broken so many families,
Now that would be something.
My mom if you didn't know is a breast cancer survivor and during her first race she was bald and had a little pink cap on and was going through chemo treatments.
I have missed every year since school is 6 hours away.
But I was checking in earlier last week and mom said something along the lines of "well you're going to be home next year right?"
That is the plan.
My family is back in Denver and I miss being part of family events.
And I miss being home.
And having home cooked meals.
And celebrating birthdays.
But just recently i've really realized the importance of a cure for cancer.
So many people have been touched by this.
And awareness is key.
Hell I check myself a couple times a week.
I've thought about going to get a mammogram just because my mom had it.
And there is a test to see if you are a higher test of getting breast cancer so I might get that done in the next few years.
Because I will have a voluntary double mastectomy if it means I do not need to worry and that I can be around for all those moments for the future generations.
Boobs are just mounds of fat.
Family is worth so much more than filling out a dress or looking normal.
I'll just add to my scars.
And that will be cool.
But a cure.
To cure something.
To eradicate something that has plagued and broken so many families,
Now that would be something.
Someone just wife me already
I'M TOTALLY KIDDING MOM AND DAD!
I'm a bit on the fence about the phrase "someone just wife me already".
Usually this is pertaining to a persons homely abilities.
Like on Saturday I had my friend KC spend the night and let me just say, I made a pretty spectacular breakfast.
Bacon, chocolate donuts and some other things.
But seeing as most of the time my breakfast is a yogurt or some cream of wheat scarfed down before running out the door, this was pretty legit.
But I said something along the lines of "someone just wife me already."
Now as we all know.
I believe in love.
I am not particularly in a point in my life where i'm really looking for a life partner.
But there are plenty of other people my age that are.
And i'm just not really in that group.
And I don't date just to date.
Like if someone remarkable comes into my life that I like then sure i'll go on a date with them.
But if I don't feel anything for them, i'm not going to waste my time getting into something I have no intention of keeping.
But being the feminist I am I caught myself off guard saying this.
Because I do not consider myself to be the type of woman that would normally take on the "wifely" duties.
If you've ever seen my room its difficult to keep it clean.
Also I pretty much stick to the same food.
And i've found i'm not all that patient with small children all that often.
My mother is a wonderful cook and really cooking just kind of stresses me out.
She is one of the most loving human beings and was and still is an incredible wife and mother to our family.
Hell shes probably half adopted most of the kids shes come in contact with.
But my parents don't always have that typical of defined wifely or husband like responsibilities all that often. They are a team.
But I don't think I fit the typical mold of what a "wife" should be.
I'd like a match or a partner or an equal.
No real defined responsibilities for either gender but just to progress and help in anyway possible.
So maybe someday someone will partner me or match me or be my equal.
But I don't think I will call myself a wife or call my husband a husband.
But we will be partners.
I'm a bit on the fence about the phrase "someone just wife me already".
Usually this is pertaining to a persons homely abilities.
Like on Saturday I had my friend KC spend the night and let me just say, I made a pretty spectacular breakfast.
Bacon, chocolate donuts and some other things.
But seeing as most of the time my breakfast is a yogurt or some cream of wheat scarfed down before running out the door, this was pretty legit.
But I said something along the lines of "someone just wife me already."
Now as we all know.
I believe in love.
I am not particularly in a point in my life where i'm really looking for a life partner.
But there are plenty of other people my age that are.
And i'm just not really in that group.
And I don't date just to date.
Like if someone remarkable comes into my life that I like then sure i'll go on a date with them.
But if I don't feel anything for them, i'm not going to waste my time getting into something I have no intention of keeping.
But being the feminist I am I caught myself off guard saying this.
Because I do not consider myself to be the type of woman that would normally take on the "wifely" duties.
If you've ever seen my room its difficult to keep it clean.
Also I pretty much stick to the same food.
And i've found i'm not all that patient with small children all that often.
My mother is a wonderful cook and really cooking just kind of stresses me out.
She is one of the most loving human beings and was and still is an incredible wife and mother to our family.
Hell shes probably half adopted most of the kids shes come in contact with.
But my parents don't always have that typical of defined wifely or husband like responsibilities all that often. They are a team.
But I don't think I fit the typical mold of what a "wife" should be.
I'd like a match or a partner or an equal.
No real defined responsibilities for either gender but just to progress and help in anyway possible.
So maybe someday someone will partner me or match me or be my equal.
But I don't think I will call myself a wife or call my husband a husband.
But we will be partners.
Keep up with me
So here's the deal.
I got a new phone.
A gold Samsung galaxy S6
And it is amazing.
And currently i'm in the baby phase where it is so new and beautiful and I don't want to ruin it.
And one of the main reasons why is because my old phone could just not keep up with me.
And being in the field that I am I need to always be on top of things and I cannot be held back by my technology.
So the other day i'm chatting with dad about my phone and how fast it is.
And all the new little features.
I have an octopus emoji and it makes me so happy.
It also has a beauty feature on my camera which just when you are taking a selfie and put this one it blurs all your imperfections, so you look flawless.
I'm on the fence on whether or not I like this...
But I was talking to dad and geeking out about my new tech and we got on the subject of how I move so fast and how my chosen career is so fast and how in general I am just a fast person and its hard to keep up with me.
And he said something along the lines of"You know, when you do find a man that finally sweeps you off your feet, hes going to have to be pretty damn fast, to keep up with you."
And this is totally true.
I have a short attention span and half the reason I chose journalism is because of how fast it moves.
It never stays the same from one second to the next.
And I like that.
And i'm the type of person that I can adapt.
I do not take the easy route.
And I never sell myself short and more and more recently i've been voicing my opinion and standing up for myself.
So yes I know i'm a lot to handle.
And that is okay.
If you want any of this, you're going to have to be able to keep up with me.
I got a new phone.
A gold Samsung galaxy S6
And it is amazing.
And currently i'm in the baby phase where it is so new and beautiful and I don't want to ruin it.
And one of the main reasons why is because my old phone could just not keep up with me.
And being in the field that I am I need to always be on top of things and I cannot be held back by my technology.
So the other day i'm chatting with dad about my phone and how fast it is.
And all the new little features.
I have an octopus emoji and it makes me so happy.
It also has a beauty feature on my camera which just when you are taking a selfie and put this one it blurs all your imperfections, so you look flawless.
I'm on the fence on whether or not I like this...
But I was talking to dad and geeking out about my new tech and we got on the subject of how I move so fast and how my chosen career is so fast and how in general I am just a fast person and its hard to keep up with me.
And he said something along the lines of"You know, when you do find a man that finally sweeps you off your feet, hes going to have to be pretty damn fast, to keep up with you."
And this is totally true.
I have a short attention span and half the reason I chose journalism is because of how fast it moves.
It never stays the same from one second to the next.
And I like that.
And i'm the type of person that I can adapt.
I do not take the easy route.
And I never sell myself short and more and more recently i've been voicing my opinion and standing up for myself.
So yes I know i'm a lot to handle.
And that is okay.
If you want any of this, you're going to have to be able to keep up with me.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
"Just, you know, making sure you're not dead in a ditch somewhere."
The roommate and I have an oddly protective relationship with each other.
So if I ever feel like the roommate should be home and isn't and I don't know where she is, i'll call her.
And sometimes my messages are a little morbid, because I have a wild imagination and automatically assume the worst.
So last week I forgot the roommate was at her internship and I assumed she was at the barn with her horse.
To put in some context, last year she was at a different barn and at this one time her horse kind of went a little crazy and one night her phone died, her mommy got worried, and told my mommy and my mommy told me. So I drove nearly to Bayfield in the middle of nowhere with my good friend Aaron looking for the roommate because we thought something happened to her.
Turns out she was fine, her phone just died.
Back to last week she didn't pick up so I left her a message that ended something like the title of this blog.
I got my worrying genes from my mother who got it from her mother who got it from her mother and so on until we are back in Sweden about a 1000 years ago and a viking wife is worrying about her husband because he hasn't come back from ransacking villages and shes worried he might be frozen in an iceberg somewhere or possibly eaten by a polar bear.
She was fine.
She was at her internship
But just so you know, if I cant get a hold of you and i'm worried, you might get a message that ends something like what I left for her.
Because I have an irrational imagination.
Sorry about that.
So if I ever feel like the roommate should be home and isn't and I don't know where she is, i'll call her.
And sometimes my messages are a little morbid, because I have a wild imagination and automatically assume the worst.
So last week I forgot the roommate was at her internship and I assumed she was at the barn with her horse.
To put in some context, last year she was at a different barn and at this one time her horse kind of went a little crazy and one night her phone died, her mommy got worried, and told my mommy and my mommy told me. So I drove nearly to Bayfield in the middle of nowhere with my good friend Aaron looking for the roommate because we thought something happened to her.
Turns out she was fine, her phone just died.
Back to last week she didn't pick up so I left her a message that ended something like the title of this blog.
I got my worrying genes from my mother who got it from her mother who got it from her mother and so on until we are back in Sweden about a 1000 years ago and a viking wife is worrying about her husband because he hasn't come back from ransacking villages and shes worried he might be frozen in an iceberg somewhere or possibly eaten by a polar bear.
She was fine.
She was at her internship
But just so you know, if I cant get a hold of you and i'm worried, you might get a message that ends something like what I left for her.
Because I have an irrational imagination.
Sorry about that.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Happy Happys
As requested by my lovely mother since I literally couldnt think of anything else to write about, i'm writing about these little things called Happy Happys
A Happy Happy.
Essentially its a little out of the blue surprise that cheers up your day.
We like to do happy happys in our house because really we like any reason whatsoever to celebrate.
Like the day when I found out I got 2 points higher on my ACT I came home to a little happy happy of an angle figurine that had a star in its hands.
Both my parents were so proud of me even for what I thought was a little accomplishment.
And to this day I still have that darn thing and know that my parents are proud of me.
My mom loves to send care packages and put in little surprises.
So over the summer after I got my job at Renae Marie she sent me some cute new clothes to wear to work or wherever, and to tell me how proud she was of me and for persevering after loosing my other job.
It only took me two weeks exactly, thank you very much since the day I was "let go" for me to find another job.
Across the street no less.
I always love when she sends me things because they are so thoughtful.
And i've definitely inherited that trait and try to give thoughtful and useful gifts to people.
I think we all need little surprised in our life.
I mean it doesnt always have to be a physical item like clothing or something.
Like little acts of kindness or a note always touch my heart.
Just letting someone know you are thinking about them genuinely always warms my heart.
So take note.
If you want to impress someone, just be randomly thoughtful and it will make a huge impact.
Just saying...
A Happy Happy.
Essentially its a little out of the blue surprise that cheers up your day.
We like to do happy happys in our house because really we like any reason whatsoever to celebrate.
Like the day when I found out I got 2 points higher on my ACT I came home to a little happy happy of an angle figurine that had a star in its hands.
Both my parents were so proud of me even for what I thought was a little accomplishment.
And to this day I still have that darn thing and know that my parents are proud of me.
My mom loves to send care packages and put in little surprises.
So over the summer after I got my job at Renae Marie she sent me some cute new clothes to wear to work or wherever, and to tell me how proud she was of me and for persevering after loosing my other job.
It only took me two weeks exactly, thank you very much since the day I was "let go" for me to find another job.
Across the street no less.
I always love when she sends me things because they are so thoughtful.
And i've definitely inherited that trait and try to give thoughtful and useful gifts to people.
I think we all need little surprised in our life.
I mean it doesnt always have to be a physical item like clothing or something.
Like little acts of kindness or a note always touch my heart.
Just letting someone know you are thinking about them genuinely always warms my heart.
So take note.
If you want to impress someone, just be randomly thoughtful and it will make a huge impact.
Just saying...
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
"Names hold power, just like magic words"
So if you haven't seen the new Cinderella.
You need to see it now.
Like ASAP
Something about the magic and loveliness of a princess has always touched something in me.
When i was little I had a book of fairy tales and i'm pretty sure I loved that thing to death.
I loved the dresses.
The handsome princes.
How they persevered.
And then of course how they lived happily ever after.
How two souls so easily found each other and fell in love and stayed happy forever.
Don't you wish life were just like that??
You found someone and you just knew and then you were happy until the end of your days together.
That would be just peachy if that actually happened.
But anyways I saw the live action Cinderella for the third time tonight and I was filled with the awe and whimsical magic just like the first two times.
I still want her dress.
And I still want to kill Drisella.
And I love Lily James.
My full on love for Disney princesses and pretty much anything sparkly came out.
I know i'm a small child but really is it so bad that some of my joy comes from that?
Nope I think its fine.
We all need a little magic and I keep it alive that way.
I still believe in magic and happily ever afters.
And I think that is perfectly fine.
You need to see it now.
Like ASAP
Something about the magic and loveliness of a princess has always touched something in me.
When i was little I had a book of fairy tales and i'm pretty sure I loved that thing to death.
I loved the dresses.
The handsome princes.
How they persevered.
And then of course how they lived happily ever after.
How two souls so easily found each other and fell in love and stayed happy forever.
Don't you wish life were just like that??
You found someone and you just knew and then you were happy until the end of your days together.
That would be just peachy if that actually happened.
But anyways I saw the live action Cinderella for the third time tonight and I was filled with the awe and whimsical magic just like the first two times.
I still want her dress.
And I still want to kill Drisella.
And I love Lily James.
My full on love for Disney princesses and pretty much anything sparkly came out.
I know i'm a small child but really is it so bad that some of my joy comes from that?
Nope I think its fine.
We all need a little magic and I keep it alive that way.
I still believe in magic and happily ever afters.
And I think that is perfectly fine.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
"But, do you enjoy it?"
Here is the deal.
I try to live my life by doing things that make me happy or bring meaning to my life.
I do not want to live a life where I feel like I am under appreciated or doing something that does not have value.
Life is too short for that.
Last week I was in the media center as per usual, making yet another graphic.
And sometimes it comes easy to me.
And sometimes it does not.
Sometimes the idea is easy to recreate.
Sometimes I just don't have the know how.
And sometimes adobe illustrator just cant do what I want to do.
So last week i'm making another graphic and I finally figure out what I want and how to execute it.
And Lauren is in the media center too, editing the story i'm making this for.
And she asks me if I still like what i'm doing.
And I give some half assed answer about how its fun and sometimes frustrating because sometimes people do not communicate.
But then she asks "But, do you enjoy it?"
And that really threw me off.
For so long now I've been doing graphics because someone needed to do them
Where has all the joy gone?
Sure I still like the thrill of making something that looks clean and gives the right message.
Or making something that I think looks cool and unique and that people can recognize.
But where do I come in?
Do I ever make these graphics just for me?
Just for my enjoyment to make me happy.
Its like me still doing music.
If I didn't still find joy in when I play those hollow wooden tubes brought together with cork and metal to make an instrument that looks like the love child of a didgeridoo and an oboe, I wouldn't still waltz into that band room around 4:30 every monday and wednesday afternoon.
I still show up at 8 am every Tuesday and Thursday because being there and making something so unique for people that I care about passionately is enough.
Sure sometimes I want to pull out my hair when there is a miscommunication, when the story is so abstract that I literally have no idea, when there is a time crunch or when someone wants something I cant make.
But I shoulder on.
And a little piece of me is put into every graphic,
And it fills me with joy when someone compliments me on my work.
Because by nature I am a writer and words come easily most of the time.
But being able to have some slight artistic talent, something out of the blue for a writer, is a lovely feeling.
So yes I still enjoy it.
I try to live my life by doing things that make me happy or bring meaning to my life.
I do not want to live a life where I feel like I am under appreciated or doing something that does not have value.
Life is too short for that.
Last week I was in the media center as per usual, making yet another graphic.
And sometimes it comes easy to me.
And sometimes it does not.
Sometimes the idea is easy to recreate.
Sometimes I just don't have the know how.
And sometimes adobe illustrator just cant do what I want to do.
So last week i'm making another graphic and I finally figure out what I want and how to execute it.
And Lauren is in the media center too, editing the story i'm making this for.
And she asks me if I still like what i'm doing.
And I give some half assed answer about how its fun and sometimes frustrating because sometimes people do not communicate.
But then she asks "But, do you enjoy it?"
And that really threw me off.
For so long now I've been doing graphics because someone needed to do them
Where has all the joy gone?
Sure I still like the thrill of making something that looks clean and gives the right message.
Or making something that I think looks cool and unique and that people can recognize.
But where do I come in?
Do I ever make these graphics just for me?
Just for my enjoyment to make me happy.
Its like me still doing music.
If I didn't still find joy in when I play those hollow wooden tubes brought together with cork and metal to make an instrument that looks like the love child of a didgeridoo and an oboe, I wouldn't still waltz into that band room around 4:30 every monday and wednesday afternoon.
I still show up at 8 am every Tuesday and Thursday because being there and making something so unique for people that I care about passionately is enough.
Sure sometimes I want to pull out my hair when there is a miscommunication, when the story is so abstract that I literally have no idea, when there is a time crunch or when someone wants something I cant make.
But I shoulder on.
And a little piece of me is put into every graphic,
And it fills me with joy when someone compliments me on my work.
Because by nature I am a writer and words come easily most of the time.
But being able to have some slight artistic talent, something out of the blue for a writer, is a lovely feeling.
So yes I still enjoy it.
Monday, September 21, 2015
*angry toad noises*
So a few days ago Mike showed me this one meme that was a picture of this really grumpy looking toad and it had the caption "when you really dont want to do homework" and then it had near the toad *angry toad noises*
This was all directed at Carter because he was supposedly being the angry toad that day.
And it made me laugh way harder then it really should have.
Well today was just one of those days where I made some of those angry toad noises.
Its a guttural back of your throat sort of sound.
Not pretty in any way.
Its a way to convey frustration and anger.
Well first off, nyquill knocked me out and I woke up at 10 am.
I usually wake up around 7 or 8.
Have a nice relaxing breakfast and morning.
Do my Spanish.
Get ready and go to school.
No such luck.
I had woken later than expected
First angry toad noise for the day.
Then on my way to school I was literally behind the slowest subaru in the world.
Second angry toad noise for the day.
Then in Spanish I couldn't get a word in even though I actually understood what we were talking about
Third angry toad noise for the day.
On my way to band I totally walked by this one guy and didn't even acknowledge him.
My friend Lainey had to tell me I had done that after we had walked out the door.
Fourth angry toad noise for the day.
Then in band I couldn't tune or play the right rhythms to save my life.
Many more angry toad noises.
And after all that I had to go and design a graphic I had forgotten about doing.
Some more angry toad noises.
And then just various little balls of stress that have arisen through the day.
Its a typical Monday and I was just in a weird funk.
So yes angry toad noises were needed today.
This was all directed at Carter because he was supposedly being the angry toad that day.
And it made me laugh way harder then it really should have.
Well today was just one of those days where I made some of those angry toad noises.
Its a guttural back of your throat sort of sound.
Not pretty in any way.
Its a way to convey frustration and anger.
Well first off, nyquill knocked me out and I woke up at 10 am.
I usually wake up around 7 or 8.
Have a nice relaxing breakfast and morning.
Do my Spanish.
Get ready and go to school.
No such luck.
I had woken later than expected
First angry toad noise for the day.
Then on my way to school I was literally behind the slowest subaru in the world.
Second angry toad noise for the day.
Then in Spanish I couldn't get a word in even though I actually understood what we were talking about
Third angry toad noise for the day.
On my way to band I totally walked by this one guy and didn't even acknowledge him.
My friend Lainey had to tell me I had done that after we had walked out the door.
Fourth angry toad noise for the day.
Then in band I couldn't tune or play the right rhythms to save my life.
Many more angry toad noises.
And after all that I had to go and design a graphic I had forgotten about doing.
Some more angry toad noises.
And then just various little balls of stress that have arisen through the day.
Its a typical Monday and I was just in a weird funk.
So yes angry toad noises were needed today.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
I'm not crying on Sundays
The song She Keeps Me Warm by Mary Lambert is probably one of the most genuine songs about love that I've ever heard.
Now this is not a new discovery.
I've loved this song for quite some time now.
But I think in this day and age we are trying to do everything in our lives faster and more efficient.
People are falling in love and making families faster.
I sometimes wonder if they actually know what they are getting in to or if its about fitting in and going with the social norm that you have to find someone to love you by 30 or else you'll be alone forever.
That you have to beat the other person to the punch of the first I love you.
To always be ahead of the curve on what you are doing in your relationship.
Comparing yourself to other people and what they are doing.
When really we should be focusing on ourselves.
Anyway back to the song its about wanting to get to know all the little details about a person.
The excitement of finding out their middle name, whether or not they hate their job and what you can call them.
You know all those little facts you discover in a new relationship that is like a little door that sheds a little bit more light onto what kind of person you are caring for.
The sweet doors of light like random talents or embarrassing stories.
The scary doors about how they fall in love or how they've fallen.
And being strong enough to not only embrace the light from the sweet doors but also the light from the scary doors.
The little dusty corners of a person that are hardly ever discovered.
Their hopes, dreams and fears.
Parts of them that aren't let out very often for fear of how our harsh world will see our vulnerabilities.
Very few people know the full extent of the maze that is my brain.
And very few people have been let in to that part of me.
I don't like to open up about how scared I am for the future.
Or how I don't have all the answers.
Or how deep rooted my insecurities are.
Or the odd triggers that will set me off on a crazy whirl wind.
I put on this facade.
I cover my scars.
I take the high road or at least try to most of the time.
I try to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.
I hold my head high some days with all my might, because sometimes knowing that you are so much more than your appearance, is the thing that will get me out of bed.
I put most at a distance, not so close as to let the scary doors shed their light.
I keep it together, do my job, and be kind.
So I will thank all of those that have made it to the end of this rambling blog about love and letting others in.
I will thank those that have seen the scary sides of me and stayed,
I will thank those that I have kept at a safe distance for both our sanity's and have stayed.
And I will thank the person that may some day read this blog where their full intent is to find out just a little more about me because they too are overcome with this innate need to open every door whether scary or sweet.
So i'm not crying on this Sunday.
Also, I'm sorry KC.
Now this is not a new discovery.
I've loved this song for quite some time now.
But I think in this day and age we are trying to do everything in our lives faster and more efficient.
People are falling in love and making families faster.
I sometimes wonder if they actually know what they are getting in to or if its about fitting in and going with the social norm that you have to find someone to love you by 30 or else you'll be alone forever.
That you have to beat the other person to the punch of the first I love you.
To always be ahead of the curve on what you are doing in your relationship.
Comparing yourself to other people and what they are doing.
When really we should be focusing on ourselves.
Anyway back to the song its about wanting to get to know all the little details about a person.
The excitement of finding out their middle name, whether or not they hate their job and what you can call them.
You know all those little facts you discover in a new relationship that is like a little door that sheds a little bit more light onto what kind of person you are caring for.
The sweet doors of light like random talents or embarrassing stories.
The scary doors about how they fall in love or how they've fallen.
And being strong enough to not only embrace the light from the sweet doors but also the light from the scary doors.
The little dusty corners of a person that are hardly ever discovered.
Their hopes, dreams and fears.
Parts of them that aren't let out very often for fear of how our harsh world will see our vulnerabilities.
Very few people know the full extent of the maze that is my brain.
And very few people have been let in to that part of me.
I don't like to open up about how scared I am for the future.
Or how I don't have all the answers.
Or how deep rooted my insecurities are.
Or the odd triggers that will set me off on a crazy whirl wind.
I put on this facade.
I cover my scars.
I take the high road or at least try to most of the time.
I try to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.
I hold my head high some days with all my might, because sometimes knowing that you are so much more than your appearance, is the thing that will get me out of bed.
I put most at a distance, not so close as to let the scary doors shed their light.
I keep it together, do my job, and be kind.
So I will thank all of those that have made it to the end of this rambling blog about love and letting others in.
I will thank those that have seen the scary sides of me and stayed,
I will thank those that I have kept at a safe distance for both our sanity's and have stayed.
And I will thank the person that may some day read this blog where their full intent is to find out just a little more about me because they too are overcome with this innate need to open every door whether scary or sweet.
So i'm not crying on this Sunday.
Also, I'm sorry KC.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Don't you mess with MY roommate and that darn forever candle
So work is notorious for stupid customer questions.
The usual comment about how cute the store is/how it smells so good/if we have everything out/why we don't have their size 5 shoe/if they can use our bathroom/if we have maternity clothing since we have baby socks/if the spinner necklace is in Chinese/how they cant hear the damn chime in the little pebble necklaces/ how brilliant it is to have bedazzled bra straps/ why they think they should have another 15% off the already marked down price.
Yeah this happens almost daily.
I love my job a lot and i'm very thankful to have it and work with the people that I get to work with.
But sometimes its hard not to bust out my RBF.
So today that damn forever candle came into play today.
This one lady came in asking about it and how it worked.
IT has a marble glued to the top that apparently you have to remove by heading up the wax with a hair dryer and then taking it off, putting in the wick and then you can refill it with oil.
So it can burn forever.
But I didn't know all of the things about the marble and having to blow dry it and what not.
And this lady just gives me this look.
Like how dare I not know the intricacies of this damn candle and how it fricken works and why it has a marble glued on the top.
Who honestly really thinks about asking their boss how a stupid candle works.
Not me.
Especially when there are a ton of other products in the store.
So that happened.
And then.... this total B of a lady yelled at the roommate about something that was not her fault.
Now mind you the roommate is quite a bit tougher than I am and I've seen her cry probably twice before today.
ME its been at least 30 times.
So she was telling me this and then started to tear up.
So it is now my mission to put this lady in her place.
Because that was uncalled for.
And you made her cry.
That is not okay.
Watch out mean horse lady, you just opened up a can of Julia Grace Volzke whooop ass.
We also later discussed menstrual cups and those panties that act as your period protection.
And how weird both of those products really are.
Good times at our place on a Saturday night.
Now its time to take a bath and go to bed.
Because that is how I roll.
The usual comment about how cute the store is/how it smells so good/if we have everything out/why we don't have their size 5 shoe/if they can use our bathroom/if we have maternity clothing since we have baby socks/if the spinner necklace is in Chinese/how they cant hear the damn chime in the little pebble necklaces/ how brilliant it is to have bedazzled bra straps/ why they think they should have another 15% off the already marked down price.
Yeah this happens almost daily.
I love my job a lot and i'm very thankful to have it and work with the people that I get to work with.
But sometimes its hard not to bust out my RBF.
So today that damn forever candle came into play today.
This one lady came in asking about it and how it worked.
IT has a marble glued to the top that apparently you have to remove by heading up the wax with a hair dryer and then taking it off, putting in the wick and then you can refill it with oil.
So it can burn forever.
But I didn't know all of the things about the marble and having to blow dry it and what not.
And this lady just gives me this look.
Like how dare I not know the intricacies of this damn candle and how it fricken works and why it has a marble glued on the top.
Who honestly really thinks about asking their boss how a stupid candle works.
Not me.
Especially when there are a ton of other products in the store.
So that happened.
And then.... this total B of a lady yelled at the roommate about something that was not her fault.
Now mind you the roommate is quite a bit tougher than I am and I've seen her cry probably twice before today.
ME its been at least 30 times.
So she was telling me this and then started to tear up.
So it is now my mission to put this lady in her place.
Because that was uncalled for.
And you made her cry.
That is not okay.
Watch out mean horse lady, you just opened up a can of Julia Grace Volzke whooop ass.
We also later discussed menstrual cups and those panties that act as your period protection.
And how weird both of those products really are.
Good times at our place on a Saturday night.
Now its time to take a bath and go to bed.
Because that is how I roll.
Friday, September 18, 2015
Accidental flasher and Pablo Neruda
So lets start with the interesting part.
Me encanta Pablo Neruda.
That means I love the author Pablo Neruda.
He was a Chilean author and today in Spanish we got to discuss some of his famous poems.
Which I loved because he puts a ton of emotion and metaphors into his works.
There's this one where the title translates to "If you forget me".
And he talks about this love.
And the cliche that if you love something then let it go.
And Jesus I just want a man to read me poems by Pablo Neruda or by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in a perfect Spanish accent.
I am currently having auditions for that role!
And then the other part of my day.
So FLC is known for being windy because we are on top of a mesa.
And we all know how much I love to be a girl and wear skirts.
Well today I was walking to my first class, oddly enough Spanish, and I had my bag.
And I didn't realize that the side I had my bag on was riding up my skirt.
And I didn't realize this until I had nearly reached my class and pulled down my skirt.
So yes I flashed the college.
No I was actually wearing good panties so it was ok.
Not perfect but not the end of the world.
See I remember this one girl from freshman year that was a bit bigger and got her skirt tucked under her little back pack.
And there was a little thong.
And suddenly I was in that embarrassing position.
I was the one with the tucked up skirt.
No tiny thong but I did probably make a few peoples day.
Yay for graceful and poised Julia.
Me encanta Pablo Neruda.
That means I love the author Pablo Neruda.
He was a Chilean author and today in Spanish we got to discuss some of his famous poems.
Which I loved because he puts a ton of emotion and metaphors into his works.
There's this one where the title translates to "If you forget me".
And he talks about this love.
And the cliche that if you love something then let it go.
And Jesus I just want a man to read me poems by Pablo Neruda or by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in a perfect Spanish accent.
I am currently having auditions for that role!
And then the other part of my day.
So FLC is known for being windy because we are on top of a mesa.
And we all know how much I love to be a girl and wear skirts.
Well today I was walking to my first class, oddly enough Spanish, and I had my bag.
And I didn't realize that the side I had my bag on was riding up my skirt.
And I didn't realize this until I had nearly reached my class and pulled down my skirt.
So yes I flashed the college.
No I was actually wearing good panties so it was ok.
Not perfect but not the end of the world.
See I remember this one girl from freshman year that was a bit bigger and got her skirt tucked under her little back pack.
And there was a little thong.
And suddenly I was in that embarrassing position.
I was the one with the tucked up skirt.
No tiny thong but I did probably make a few peoples day.
Yay for graceful and poised Julia.
Thunder
The song Thunder by Leona Lewis has turned in a way into what Fight Song by Rachel Platten previously held for me.
A woman rising from the ashes and becoming stronger.
Just go to listen to it
I have never really feared thunder.
Whenever there is a rainstorm I like to open my windows and hear the rain and thunder.
I also think the sound a bassoon makes in its deeper register is similar to that of a rumble of thunder.
Well Thursday started out with having the absolute best substitute ever for the Indy.
And our day was immediately brightened by the fact that we got to have just her all to ourselves for a few hours.
My day is automatically better whenever she blesses us with her presence in that class.
But she is a fighter and if she definitely has fought with a power of thunder.
Thundering her way through chemo, all the challenges she has faced and then fighting to get back to us.
She also was there with a listening ear.
About the trouble we've been having with the new adviser.
And even though I wanted to join the band wagon and yes I did get my ass handed to me by her last week.
Everyone does not like her and was complaining about her unorthodox ways and having to transition to someone new.
BUT
I took the high road.
Be proud parental units, you raised me well.
I quoted something my mom had told me last week about having to deal with this change of advisers.
That we may not like her but its a good learning experience for the future and having to work with difficult bosses.
That this is all a good learning experience
And even though I got some grumbles I think we all realized that this is temporary.
Our beloved adviser will be back.
The other one is a learning opportunity.
And I was the one that brought the silver lining in this storm.
Hell yes.
A woman rising from the ashes and becoming stronger.
Just go to listen to it
I have never really feared thunder.
Whenever there is a rainstorm I like to open my windows and hear the rain and thunder.
I also think the sound a bassoon makes in its deeper register is similar to that of a rumble of thunder.
Well Thursday started out with having the absolute best substitute ever for the Indy.
And our day was immediately brightened by the fact that we got to have just her all to ourselves for a few hours.
My day is automatically better whenever she blesses us with her presence in that class.
But she is a fighter and if she definitely has fought with a power of thunder.
Thundering her way through chemo, all the challenges she has faced and then fighting to get back to us.
She also was there with a listening ear.
About the trouble we've been having with the new adviser.
And even though I wanted to join the band wagon and yes I did get my ass handed to me by her last week.
Everyone does not like her and was complaining about her unorthodox ways and having to transition to someone new.
BUT
I took the high road.
Be proud parental units, you raised me well.
I quoted something my mom had told me last week about having to deal with this change of advisers.
That we may not like her but its a good learning experience for the future and having to work with difficult bosses.
That this is all a good learning experience
And even though I got some grumbles I think we all realized that this is temporary.
Our beloved adviser will be back.
The other one is a learning opportunity.
And I was the one that brought the silver lining in this storm.
Hell yes.
Patience
One of the main things i've realized I need to find in a significant other is patience.
Someone that can cope with me and is resilient.
Because much of my anxiety is self made, I will need someone patient enough to to quiet all the noise.
I put on this facade of having my life together and like I don't worry about my future.
Not only as a writer and having a meaningful career.
But as a person that someday would like to have a family.
And how my life will pan out.
Will I be there for everything I want to be there for?
I am easy to like once approached and you break the surface, but i'm a difficult person to fully love.
I know this sounds super morbid but when you don't have all the answers, and you have an active imagination, my mind tends to get out of hand.
But i've also found because I expect so much from others that when that doesnt pan out I tend to be very impatient.
I need to learn to be patient with others as well.
And that has never been easy.
Christmas morning is always stressful because I have always had to be patient enough to wait.
I feel like I have these two opposing sources.
One is this restless fire that wants all the answers.
And the other is a very shy and afraid to proceed into the future.
And i'm caught in the middle noise.
So I will try to be better.
Take my time and try not to worry about the things I cannot control for now.
Because that is just how life is.
Someone that can cope with me and is resilient.
Because much of my anxiety is self made, I will need someone patient enough to to quiet all the noise.
I put on this facade of having my life together and like I don't worry about my future.
Not only as a writer and having a meaningful career.
But as a person that someday would like to have a family.
And how my life will pan out.
Will I be there for everything I want to be there for?
I am easy to like once approached and you break the surface, but i'm a difficult person to fully love.
I know this sounds super morbid but when you don't have all the answers, and you have an active imagination, my mind tends to get out of hand.
But i've also found because I expect so much from others that when that doesnt pan out I tend to be very impatient.
I need to learn to be patient with others as well.
And that has never been easy.
Christmas morning is always stressful because I have always had to be patient enough to wait.
I feel like I have these two opposing sources.
One is this restless fire that wants all the answers.
And the other is a very shy and afraid to proceed into the future.
And i'm caught in the middle noise.
So I will try to be better.
Take my time and try not to worry about the things I cannot control for now.
Because that is just how life is.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Little Miss who you are is so much more than what you like to talk about
The song Little Miss by the band Sugarland is a great song I like to listen to when i'm having a off or down day.
It reminds me that this is all a journey.
And that I can do it.
Well Tuesday was a bit of a rough day.
I did homework with KC and then we; decided to go to bingo night.
Which was fine for most of it.
But as we all know, if you don't know me, I can come off a bit intense.
So I was out for bingo night with KC.
In a romper, heels and bright blue eye liner.
And KC is in a cute skirt, a shirt and a cute hoodie.
So she has figured out Durango wear.
And I have not.
So obviously she is the more approachable one.
And I am not.
And for some odd reason these old men find it their mission to cheer me up.
I show my emotions on my face.
So when i'm the one that is left out.
And i'm fine for the most part.
But then for some odd reason it really gets to me.
And 8th grade version of Julia comes out.
And I feel like something is wrong with me.
Which there isn't.
All this came about because deep down I still have very rooted feelings about not being enough and not fitting int.
I'm just a bit much to handle and most guys dont want to flirt with that.
Really its a hard life when you have RBF.
And then the old men really try to cheer me up which if i'm not in the mood there is literally nothing you can do.
And it was just not good.
I am stubborn and if I don't want to do something I wont do it.
And right then I realized that Durango wasn't ever going to be my home.
My dreams are too big.
I love Durango.
But its not where i'm going to end up.
And later on after some waterworks with KC on the drive home I realized that I truly am an anomaly around here.
And that is never going to change.
I will stick out.
And that is okay.
That is just another sign that my place is somewhere else.
So I am not easily bought.
I am genuine.
I do not trust easily.
I have baggage and scars.
I try to put on a facade of togetherness but its not always there.
Deep down I still have insecurities that are triggered by the dumbest of things like not getting male attention at a dumb bingo night.
I am not perfect.
I am so much more than my surface.
I am a fighter
I am a musician
I am a writer
I am opiniated
I am kind
I try to see the best in people.
I show my emotions on my face.
And I will not let myself ever be in a situation where I am not happy.
This includes relationships, work or where I live.
And I have found I need to make myself happy before I can fully focus on making anyone else happy.
So for now I am enough for me.
And I just have to remember that
It reminds me that this is all a journey.
And that I can do it.
Well Tuesday was a bit of a rough day.
I did homework with KC and then we; decided to go to bingo night.
Which was fine for most of it.
But as we all know, if you don't know me, I can come off a bit intense.
So I was out for bingo night with KC.
In a romper, heels and bright blue eye liner.
And KC is in a cute skirt, a shirt and a cute hoodie.
So she has figured out Durango wear.
And I have not.
So obviously she is the more approachable one.
And I am not.
And for some odd reason these old men find it their mission to cheer me up.
I show my emotions on my face.
So when i'm the one that is left out.
And i'm fine for the most part.
But then for some odd reason it really gets to me.
And 8th grade version of Julia comes out.
And I feel like something is wrong with me.
Which there isn't.
All this came about because deep down I still have very rooted feelings about not being enough and not fitting int.
I'm just a bit much to handle and most guys dont want to flirt with that.
Really its a hard life when you have RBF.
And then the old men really try to cheer me up which if i'm not in the mood there is literally nothing you can do.
And it was just not good.
I am stubborn and if I don't want to do something I wont do it.
And right then I realized that Durango wasn't ever going to be my home.
My dreams are too big.
I love Durango.
But its not where i'm going to end up.
And later on after some waterworks with KC on the drive home I realized that I truly am an anomaly around here.
And that is never going to change.
I will stick out.
And that is okay.
That is just another sign that my place is somewhere else.
So I am not easily bought.
I am genuine.
I do not trust easily.
I have baggage and scars.
I try to put on a facade of togetherness but its not always there.
Deep down I still have insecurities that are triggered by the dumbest of things like not getting male attention at a dumb bingo night.
I am not perfect.
I am so much more than my surface.
I am a fighter
I am a musician
I am a writer
I am opiniated
I am kind
I try to see the best in people.
I show my emotions on my face.
And I will not let myself ever be in a situation where I am not happy.
This includes relationships, work or where I live.
And I have found I need to make myself happy before I can fully focus on making anyone else happy.
So for now I am enough for me.
And I just have to remember that
Diego, this was a bad idea
Our Spanish class is used to a very certain way to do things.
And when things are mixed up its bad.
Well we are fine when we get to go outside, but other then that its not good.
Like when someone sits in my seat.
Or we try something new with class.
Like a very complicated seating arrangement in a tiny room.
We had to do a smaller circle of desks inside a larger circle.
And no one could decide how to make it.
AND I was one of the unfortunate people that was stuck in the middle.
And people asked us questions directly about the reading.
And we all know how well I do under pressure and speaking in front of people in spanish.
So that was bad.
And everyone was confused.
Plus it was a Monday and even though I know it was at like 2 in the afternoon.
We all wanted a nap.
So what did we learn.
We all still need naps even when adults.
And complicated seating arrangements never work well.
And Tony needs to hit or silenced with ducktape.
He is just obnoxious.
And when things are mixed up its bad.
Well we are fine when we get to go outside, but other then that its not good.
Like when someone sits in my seat.
Or we try something new with class.
Like a very complicated seating arrangement in a tiny room.
We had to do a smaller circle of desks inside a larger circle.
And no one could decide how to make it.
AND I was one of the unfortunate people that was stuck in the middle.
And people asked us questions directly about the reading.
And we all know how well I do under pressure and speaking in front of people in spanish.
So that was bad.
And everyone was confused.
Plus it was a Monday and even though I know it was at like 2 in the afternoon.
We all wanted a nap.
So what did we learn.
We all still need naps even when adults.
And complicated seating arrangements never work well.
And Tony needs to hit or silenced with ducktape.
He is just obnoxious.
Catching up...
So this whole blogging daily thing is an ordeal just so we are clear.
I cranked out 7 blogs on sunday and it was great.
I however was stopped with the daunting task of writing about 9/11.
I had to be in the right mindset to write it.
All my fellow writers know the importance of that.
So i just wrote it.
And it wasnt too sentimental
And it wasnt too short
It was just right.
It put enough in but not too much.
So yes this entire blogging experience is daunting.
But I love the challenge
I cranked out 7 blogs on sunday and it was great.
I however was stopped with the daunting task of writing about 9/11.
I had to be in the right mindset to write it.
All my fellow writers know the importance of that.
So i just wrote it.
And it wasnt too sentimental
And it wasnt too short
It was just right.
It put enough in but not too much.
So yes this entire blogging experience is daunting.
But I love the challenge
Bag o' broccoli
So I was kind of a cripple on Saturday.
I did something to my ankle and it was swollen so I switched from having a thing of frozen broccoli to it being elevated.
Actually I know exactly what I did to my ankle.
I wore these gorgeous and terrible heels.
And they hurt like a choice word of a choice word
And actually they cut the sides of my heels.
And thank god I wore other flat shoes or there might have been tears.
I had to legitimately sit down and change my shoes right then and there because I couldn't go on.
Damn sexy shoes,
But they hurt.
We were some how out of frozen peas, or as Owen calls them "the devils fruit", so I had to make do with broccoli.
So there I am on my typical Saturday night, with my hot date, a bag of broccoli.
Stupid shoes
I did something to my ankle and it was swollen so I switched from having a thing of frozen broccoli to it being elevated.
Actually I know exactly what I did to my ankle.
I wore these gorgeous and terrible heels.
And they hurt like a choice word of a choice word
And actually they cut the sides of my heels.
And thank god I wore other flat shoes or there might have been tears.
I had to legitimately sit down and change my shoes right then and there because I couldn't go on.
Damn sexy shoes,
But they hurt.
We were some how out of frozen peas, or as Owen calls them "the devils fruit", so I had to make do with broccoli.
So there I am on my typical Saturday night, with my hot date, a bag of broccoli.
Stupid shoes
When the world stopped turning
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day.
I was 7 years old and had just started 2nd grade in Mrs O'Connors class.
I remember the morning and then going to school and everyone went outside to the flag pole and there were police officers there.
I did not quite understand what was going on.
What had happened.
And how my world would drastically change.
But that day it all did.
It wasnt until the past like 10 years or so did I fully understand the extent of all that happened that day.
I mean I knew the facts but not until you actually see the footage does it really hit home.
Well about 5 years ago I was a teacher cadet or I guess you could call it a teachers assistant in a 1st/2nd grade.
And this little girl named Hannah for some odd reason was reading about 9/11.
And asked me to explain it to her.
I have absolutely no idea what I said but I hope that I did no scare her and that it helped her to understand.
It just blew my mind that babies such as this child were born after that day.
That we went on living.
That they were not alive in a world where we did not fear terrorism.
So I ask you dear reader.
All 20 or so of you.
Be kind.
Be understanding.
And be strong.
And hopefully we can see a brighter tomorrow,
I was 7 years old and had just started 2nd grade in Mrs O'Connors class.
I remember the morning and then going to school and everyone went outside to the flag pole and there were police officers there.
I did not quite understand what was going on.
What had happened.
And how my world would drastically change.
But that day it all did.
It wasnt until the past like 10 years or so did I fully understand the extent of all that happened that day.
I mean I knew the facts but not until you actually see the footage does it really hit home.
Well about 5 years ago I was a teacher cadet or I guess you could call it a teachers assistant in a 1st/2nd grade.
And this little girl named Hannah for some odd reason was reading about 9/11.
And asked me to explain it to her.
I have absolutely no idea what I said but I hope that I did no scare her and that it helped her to understand.
It just blew my mind that babies such as this child were born after that day.
That we went on living.
That they were not alive in a world where we did not fear terrorism.
So I ask you dear reader.
All 20 or so of you.
Be kind.
Be understanding.
And be strong.
And hopefully we can see a brighter tomorrow,
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Adjustments
So I have a class that I have been in and done multiple times.
The other people in it are pretty much my family.
We have all become great friends and we all know how to work together.
Its like we have become a well oiled machine.
We just work.
Well a wrench has been put into play.
As the usual beloved faculty adviser is currently away.
So we have this new one.
And it had been interesting to say the least.
We just figured out how to work with each other and now this person comes in.
And messes with it all.
And we are trying to be cooperative.
But they are not making it easy
Like they will say one thing and then do a totally different thing.
Okay well most of my problems come from how they acted the other day during class to us.
This person announced at the beginning of class that they were just going to let us do our thing, just observe and they would act as the "anthropologist".
Fine with us, we mainly run the class as it is just with the regular adviser. She steers us on the straight and narrow.
We are all peachy keen with this realization.
And then this person comes around and personally checks in with each and every one of us on what exactly we are doing this particular class period.
And I cant say this in any other way other than I got my ass handed to me.
We have an online website, which they didn't know about at all, and there was one picture from a story on the carousel of rotating picture stories where it may have cut off the Dean of the FLC at her eyes.
We haven't touched this damn website since like April.
So she's grilling me about this.
And my new graphic on how its up and its slightly cut off because the carousel size frame is a different dimension than the usual graphic size.
But when you click on the damn story its fine!
So i'm getting grilled.
I'm not sure how to
A- fix it.
B- what to do about it.
C-what new dimensions I need.
D- if we can even have two different graphics. One for the carousel and one for the story
E- if its worth it for the time and effort to put into making two different graphics.
F- I DO NOT DEAL WITH THE WORKINGS OF THE WEBSITE. I MAKE THE GRAPHICS!
Long story short.Its fixed now.
But this person just had to immediately go back on their word!
And then we were having trouble with the special issue.
And Hanna the person on the Indy that I think works her ass off the most got grilled because there were problems with the printer.
Her computer crashed and she's having the worst day and the special issue files were on her computer.
Anyway mix up with the printer and we may have the design the entire special issue again.
And this new adviser is just grilling her about this.
Made her cry which is not Okay with me because Hanna does not deserve that and she is probably one of the most kind and talented people we have on staff.
She is essential and this person made her cry.
I've talked to a few other of the editors and no one really likes this person either.
This is going to be an interesting semester.
Hold onto your pants, here comes the Indy crazy train!
So suffice to say.
We miss you Leslie!
COME BACK SOON!
The other people in it are pretty much my family.
We have all become great friends and we all know how to work together.
Its like we have become a well oiled machine.
We just work.
Well a wrench has been put into play.
As the usual beloved faculty adviser is currently away.
So we have this new one.
And it had been interesting to say the least.
We just figured out how to work with each other and now this person comes in.
And messes with it all.
And we are trying to be cooperative.
But they are not making it easy
Like they will say one thing and then do a totally different thing.
Okay well most of my problems come from how they acted the other day during class to us.
This person announced at the beginning of class that they were just going to let us do our thing, just observe and they would act as the "anthropologist".
Fine with us, we mainly run the class as it is just with the regular adviser. She steers us on the straight and narrow.
We are all peachy keen with this realization.
And then this person comes around and personally checks in with each and every one of us on what exactly we are doing this particular class period.
And I cant say this in any other way other than I got my ass handed to me.
We have an online website, which they didn't know about at all, and there was one picture from a story on the carousel of rotating picture stories where it may have cut off the Dean of the FLC at her eyes.
We haven't touched this damn website since like April.
So she's grilling me about this.
And my new graphic on how its up and its slightly cut off because the carousel size frame is a different dimension than the usual graphic size.
But when you click on the damn story its fine!
So i'm getting grilled.
I'm not sure how to
A- fix it.
B- what to do about it.
C-what new dimensions I need.
D- if we can even have two different graphics. One for the carousel and one for the story
E- if its worth it for the time and effort to put into making two different graphics.
F- I DO NOT DEAL WITH THE WORKINGS OF THE WEBSITE. I MAKE THE GRAPHICS!
Long story short.Its fixed now.
But this person just had to immediately go back on their word!
And then we were having trouble with the special issue.
And Hanna the person on the Indy that I think works her ass off the most got grilled because there were problems with the printer.
Her computer crashed and she's having the worst day and the special issue files were on her computer.
Anyway mix up with the printer and we may have the design the entire special issue again.
And this new adviser is just grilling her about this.
Made her cry which is not Okay with me because Hanna does not deserve that and she is probably one of the most kind and talented people we have on staff.
She is essential and this person made her cry.
I've talked to a few other of the editors and no one really likes this person either.
This is going to be an interesting semester.
Hold onto your pants, here comes the Indy crazy train!
So suffice to say.
We miss you Leslie!
COME BACK SOON!
Zhe first Indy article is LIVE!
Something about doing something the first time is always magical.
The first successful story of the semester went up.
And my graphic went with it.
And I was agonizing over it and what to do.
You know, being the typical high strung capricorn that I am.
That sort of thing...
Well I just remember some of my favorite designs.
And really the simpler and cleaner the design, the better.
So I did just that.
I took the ASFLC logo.
Made it my own.
Put in some artsy text.
Called it good.
Took me 15 minutes.
It was lovely.
And then the next day I could revel in how lovely it was.
And all the compliments I got from other people
Damn its good to be back in the swing of things.
The first successful story of the semester went up.
And my graphic went with it.
And I was agonizing over it and what to do.
You know, being the typical high strung capricorn that I am.
That sort of thing...
Well I just remember some of my favorite designs.
And really the simpler and cleaner the design, the better.
So I did just that.
I took the ASFLC logo.
Made it my own.
Put in some artsy text.
Called it good.
Took me 15 minutes.
It was lovely.
And then the next day I could revel in how lovely it was.
And all the compliments I got from other people
Damn its good to be back in the swing of things.
RBF problems
Resting Female dog Face problems.
So I have to keep my face in check because i'll make a face that I don't mean to make and it'll offend someone.
Like I somehow forget that people can see my face.
Which is really odd.
Like when I wear glasses I think i'm wearing sunglasses so my eye rolls come out more often.
And I don't mean to.
Sorry i'm just sassy.
I really don't mean to be mean.
But sometimes my inner feelings get out through facial expressions.
Its bad.
So Tuesday at bingo there was a particularly loud and drunk table behind us.
And I was facing away from them so they couldn't see my facial expressions.
Thank god.
Because apparently I was making the best disgusted faces.
I can literally out face you any day.
Mike and I have determined that.
I am the face master.
Except don't ask me to wink.
Can't do that...
And then just the other day I had my headphones in and I was jamming to some music whilst I did some homework for another class.
Unaware of my faces.
And I hear some giggling and look up to see Allie and Deanna just giggling at my facial expressions.
That I didn't realize that I was making such intense expressions.
Last year during KDUR practicum Michele Malach pointed it out and now everyone watches me.
She said I had RBF and that everyone should watch me in class because I make the best faces.
Its a problem.
And I love it.
So I have to keep my face in check because i'll make a face that I don't mean to make and it'll offend someone.
Like I somehow forget that people can see my face.
Which is really odd.
Like when I wear glasses I think i'm wearing sunglasses so my eye rolls come out more often.
And I don't mean to.
Sorry i'm just sassy.
I really don't mean to be mean.
But sometimes my inner feelings get out through facial expressions.
Its bad.
So Tuesday at bingo there was a particularly loud and drunk table behind us.
And I was facing away from them so they couldn't see my facial expressions.
Thank god.
Because apparently I was making the best disgusted faces.
I can literally out face you any day.
Mike and I have determined that.
I am the face master.
Except don't ask me to wink.
Can't do that...
And then just the other day I had my headphones in and I was jamming to some music whilst I did some homework for another class.
Unaware of my faces.
And I hear some giggling and look up to see Allie and Deanna just giggling at my facial expressions.
That I didn't realize that I was making such intense expressions.
Last year during KDUR practicum Michele Malach pointed it out and now everyone watches me.
She said I had RBF and that everyone should watch me in class because I make the best faces.
Its a problem.
And I love it.
I literally have nothing better to do
So the novelty of school has suddenly kind of worn off.
I mean its pretty Okay.
But sometimes I literally have nothing better to do then do random things.
Like put away all the chairs the new band members just "forgot" to put away.
Yeah right you little turds.
So after band there is a bunch of chairs left over.
And i'm putting them away whilst all the rest of the nerds left in there just look on.
And i'm doing trip after trip.
And my friend Marc comes up and is just like "Just stop"
And I say "No, I legitimately have nothing better to do."
He goes "Oh really?"
And I say "Yeah, all I need to do is go and get groceries"
And he goes "Wow you really do have nothing better to do"
Whilst the turds are just watching.
Damn turds.
Sometimes if you have free time the best thing to do is to be helpful if you can.
So do not be a turd.
Be helpful.
But sometimes I literally have nothing better to do then do random things.
Like put away all the chairs the new band members just "forgot" to put away.
Yeah right you little turds.
So after band there is a bunch of chairs left over.
And i'm putting them away whilst all the rest of the nerds left in there just look on.
And i'm doing trip after trip.
And my friend Marc comes up and is just like "Just stop"
And I say "No, I legitimately have nothing better to do."
He goes "Oh really?"
And I say "Yeah, all I need to do is go and get groceries"
And he goes "Wow you really do have nothing better to do"
Whilst the turds are just watching.
Damn turds.
Sometimes if you have free time the best thing to do is to be helpful if you can.
So do not be a turd.
Be helpful.
Did you really just ask that??
I love my job.
I love retail.
I love getting to be girly.
I love the clientele most of the time.
I love getting to wear what I want.
I love not having to be up early.
I love that I get to work at such a great place with such great people.
BUT.
There are those that come in and make it hard not to roll your eyes.
I seriously have to keep my face in check sometimes.
As we all know well that i'm quite expressive and can out face you any day.
So I sometimes make faces that I didn't mean to.
Well Sunday was a doozy for interesting and quite frankly I guess you could call them dumb questions.
Here is the situation.
Mom and teenage daughters come in.
We have this thing called the "Forever Candle" which is just this cool looking candle with a lot of stuff in it.
She legitimately asks me "How long does the forever candle burn??"
.
..
...
..
.
I really wanted to answer "Forever". But I didn't and instead said that I didnt know.
She proceed to roam around the store and look at some more stuff until she found the spinner necklaces.
Which are just these little disks on this necklace that when you spin them you can see they say certain things.
One says "Best Friends" and one says "I love you".
So i'm demonstrating this and telling her what it says and I show her a couple good spins.
And her daughters see it.
And then she asks "Is it in Chinese??"
.
..
...
..
.
NOPE.
It is definitely not in Chinese.
Sometimes I wonder about people....
Yeah she was an interesting sort.
I love retail.
I love getting to be girly.
I love the clientele most of the time.
I love getting to wear what I want.
I love not having to be up early.
I love that I get to work at such a great place with such great people.
BUT.
There are those that come in and make it hard not to roll your eyes.
I seriously have to keep my face in check sometimes.
As we all know well that i'm quite expressive and can out face you any day.
So I sometimes make faces that I didn't mean to.
Well Sunday was a doozy for interesting and quite frankly I guess you could call them dumb questions.
Here is the situation.
Mom and teenage daughters come in.
We have this thing called the "Forever Candle" which is just this cool looking candle with a lot of stuff in it.
She legitimately asks me "How long does the forever candle burn??"
.
..
...
..
.
I really wanted to answer "Forever". But I didn't and instead said that I didnt know.
She proceed to roam around the store and look at some more stuff until she found the spinner necklaces.
Which are just these little disks on this necklace that when you spin them you can see they say certain things.
One says "Best Friends" and one says "I love you".
So i'm demonstrating this and telling her what it says and I show her a couple good spins.
And her daughters see it.
And then she asks "Is it in Chinese??"
.
..
...
..
.
NOPE.
It is definitely not in Chinese.
Sometimes I wonder about people....
Yeah she was an interesting sort.
SMGR forgot his phone
That stands for Steven Michael Gertsen-Rogers.
He was the only one set on Friday when we talked in class that wanted to go out on the town that weekend.
But someone somehow got conned into a roommate dinner.
And forgot his phone.
And apparently everyone else was being anti-social or was tired or just didn't get back to me.
So I was ready.
I was pumped.
And then it hit like 10:30.
And madmen and my bed were getting more tempting.
And then it was 11:15.
And then I decided this cobalt blue eyeliner would find another night.
So I was asleep by 12:30.
And when everyone else was stumbling out of bed and hung over the next morning,
I woke refreshed,
But still wishing I had had a night out.
Another time my friends.
Another time.
He was the only one set on Friday when we talked in class that wanted to go out on the town that weekend.
But someone somehow got conned into a roommate dinner.
And forgot his phone.
And apparently everyone else was being anti-social or was tired or just didn't get back to me.
So I was ready.
I was pumped.
And then it hit like 10:30.
And madmen and my bed were getting more tempting.
And then it was 11:15.
And then I decided this cobalt blue eyeliner would find another night.
So I was asleep by 12:30.
And when everyone else was stumbling out of bed and hung over the next morning,
I woke refreshed,
But still wishing I had had a night out.
Another time my friends.
Another time.
"I get to meet him... RIGHT?!?"
So, I have this friend KC.
I love her to death and to be perfectly honest, we are exact opposites.
Like some days we just look at each other and say something along the lines of "I do not understand how we became friends".
Well she may have found a new little friend.
And I haven't met him yet.
Which is a problem.
Because we are best friends and I must be involved in every moment of her life.
No matter what.
I'm just kidding.
But there was an opportunity that I might meet him.
AND I DIDN'T GET TO!
I just kept pestering her and pestering her.
She does this thing that when I don't immediately respond to a text she will text me over and over and over again until I do.
With variations of my name.
So I look at my phone one minute I have one text and the next its ten.
Its a problem.
But I was doing the same thing to her but with no avail.
Maybe someday i'll get to meet him...
I love her to death and to be perfectly honest, we are exact opposites.
Like some days we just look at each other and say something along the lines of "I do not understand how we became friends".
Well she may have found a new little friend.
And I haven't met him yet.
Which is a problem.
Because we are best friends and I must be involved in every moment of her life.
No matter what.
I'm just kidding.
But there was an opportunity that I might meet him.
AND I DIDN'T GET TO!
I just kept pestering her and pestering her.
She does this thing that when I don't immediately respond to a text she will text me over and over and over again until I do.
With variations of my name.
So I look at my phone one minute I have one text and the next its ten.
Its a problem.
But I was doing the same thing to her but with no avail.
Maybe someday i'll get to meet him...
Monday, September 7, 2015
Mormor would be so proud if I married this guy...
So I love all my classes.
I'm currently taking 18 credits and trying to make it on the deans list again.
All the while still trying to have a normal social life, do all my homework and not totally turn into a hermit.
Its a process but i'm getting through it.
So most of my classes I have generally the same people.
Except band is all music nerds.
And Spanish is just a bunch of people that can string together the spanish language much better than I can.
And social media marketing is all business and marketing majors, most of which are of the male variety, and had to take the class.
And in this social media marketing class you will also find myself, Lainey and Trevor.
The communications majors just taking this class for funsies.
On the first day in that class we had to go around and tell our name, major, year, any social media experience and why we took this class.
Most went "Hi my name is Timmy, i'm a senior marketing major, and mostly just the regular social media stuff and i'm taking this because I have to"
About 80-90% of the class said some variation of this.
And then Lainey, Trevor and I said something like
"Hi my name is Julia. I'm an English communications major with a Spanish minor and i'm a senior. I've had a blog since the age of 16 and I ran a food blog for a while and i'm just taking this for fun."
To add to the even more suck-upness of this situation, were all sitting right near the front.
Like good little students.
But yes i'm excited for this class.
And to mention about the title, there is a Swedish guy foreign exchange student in this class, and I made a joke that my Mormor which maternal grandmother in Swedish, would love if I married him.
You know the whole going back to your roots thing.
I know a tiny bit of Swedish so maybe you never know...
We joke about all the girl cousins finding Swedish men.
We also joke that all the girls have dowries of like 3 cows, a few pairs of oxen and some holdings of land.
You know like the good old days when women were kind of sold off to marriage? *sarcasm*
Is that weird??
Yeah just a bit.
But really Mormor would be happy if I found a nice man that loved me for who I am.
It does not at all matter his heritage at all.
That was just a joke...
I hope we all got that.
I'm currently taking 18 credits and trying to make it on the deans list again.
All the while still trying to have a normal social life, do all my homework and not totally turn into a hermit.
Its a process but i'm getting through it.
So most of my classes I have generally the same people.
Except band is all music nerds.
And Spanish is just a bunch of people that can string together the spanish language much better than I can.
And social media marketing is all business and marketing majors, most of which are of the male variety, and had to take the class.
And in this social media marketing class you will also find myself, Lainey and Trevor.
The communications majors just taking this class for funsies.
On the first day in that class we had to go around and tell our name, major, year, any social media experience and why we took this class.
Most went "Hi my name is Timmy, i'm a senior marketing major, and mostly just the regular social media stuff and i'm taking this because I have to"
About 80-90% of the class said some variation of this.
And then Lainey, Trevor and I said something like
"Hi my name is Julia. I'm an English communications major with a Spanish minor and i'm a senior. I've had a blog since the age of 16 and I ran a food blog for a while and i'm just taking this for fun."
To add to the even more suck-upness of this situation, were all sitting right near the front.
Like good little students.
But yes i'm excited for this class.
And to mention about the title, there is a Swedish guy foreign exchange student in this class, and I made a joke that my Mormor which maternal grandmother in Swedish, would love if I married him.
You know the whole going back to your roots thing.
I know a tiny bit of Swedish so maybe you never know...
We joke about all the girl cousins finding Swedish men.
We also joke that all the girls have dowries of like 3 cows, a few pairs of oxen and some holdings of land.
You know like the good old days when women were kind of sold off to marriage? *sarcasm*
Is that weird??
Yeah just a bit.
But really Mormor would be happy if I found a nice man that loved me for who I am.
It does not at all matter his heritage at all.
That was just a joke...
I hope we all got that.
Pestering
So this semester the Indy is a bit short staffed for some odd reason.
So I've taken up pestering pretty much any person I can find to see if I can convince them to join the Indy.
On Tuesday we had this open house and I pretty much talked the ear off of any person that came with in 10 feet of me.
I am determined to make the Indy into the great organization of thriving journalists like I remember it to be.
I think because the main faculty advisor cannot be here this semester people are scared away.
But i've been talking so many people ears off about the Indy.
I talked to band. BAND OF ALL THINGS!
I talked to Social Media Marketing. Hoping to get some legitimate business people.
I went and pestered at the RSO fair for like an hour and a half.
In the hot sun.
Hell soon if we can't make the money we need i'll just go out and sell adds myself.
Well I think we all know now that once I commit and love something it's really hard for me to stop.
So if you'd like to join the Indy we meet Tuesdays and Thursdays 8-10. If you cant make it, you can do some freelance work for us.
And i'm sorry if you were one of the poor souls I over pestered.
I just really care about this crazy organization.
Like a lot.
SO COME AND JOIN US!
So I've taken up pestering pretty much any person I can find to see if I can convince them to join the Indy.
On Tuesday we had this open house and I pretty much talked the ear off of any person that came with in 10 feet of me.
I am determined to make the Indy into the great organization of thriving journalists like I remember it to be.
I think because the main faculty advisor cannot be here this semester people are scared away.
But i've been talking so many people ears off about the Indy.
I talked to band. BAND OF ALL THINGS!
I talked to Social Media Marketing. Hoping to get some legitimate business people.
I went and pestered at the RSO fair for like an hour and a half.
In the hot sun.
Hell soon if we can't make the money we need i'll just go out and sell adds myself.
Well I think we all know now that once I commit and love something it's really hard for me to stop.
So if you'd like to join the Indy we meet Tuesdays and Thursdays 8-10. If you cant make it, you can do some freelance work for us.
And i'm sorry if you were one of the poor souls I over pestered.
I just really care about this crazy organization.
Like a lot.
SO COME AND JOIN US!
The warmest of hugs
So Tuesday was the absolute first day of the Indy.
And so many things had happened since the last day last semester that it was good to be back in the same room with all of my favorite people.
These bunch of weirdos have turned into my makeshift family in a way.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
So suffice to say, walking into that room in Noble on Tuesday morning was like coming home.
And I was surprised by a very friendly face that I hadn't seen all summer.
One of my good friends as well as a faculty member was there to welcome us. Just as she has for the past 4 semesters that I've had a class with her.
Now she's had quite the summer and I was not expecting to see her.
But there she was. Smile just as bright as ever.
And I had to hug her immediately and it wasn't just one of those little "its good to see you hugs" that lasts a few seconds if that.
Oh no this was a good long warm hug.
She is like my adopted mother and just like when i'm reunited with my actual mother and father after a long time away, its hard to let go.
And it was hard to let go of her right then because I didn't want it to end and I didn't want her to have to leave.
But there she was, a little battered from the storm she had just endured, but all in all, the same woman that has taken us on not only as students but as adopted children.
It made my day and pretty much my week that I was one of the few that got to see her before she had to leave.
Her immune system isn't quite back to normal but shes fighting to get back to us.
And even though she may not be around as much this semester, we all know that she will be back.
And there will be more warm hugs for us when she does return.
Thanks again adopted mom for coming back to see us off to a new semester.
We all loved seeing you back and smiling like old times.
And so many things had happened since the last day last semester that it was good to be back in the same room with all of my favorite people.
These bunch of weirdos have turned into my makeshift family in a way.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
So suffice to say, walking into that room in Noble on Tuesday morning was like coming home.
And I was surprised by a very friendly face that I hadn't seen all summer.
One of my good friends as well as a faculty member was there to welcome us. Just as she has for the past 4 semesters that I've had a class with her.
Now she's had quite the summer and I was not expecting to see her.
But there she was. Smile just as bright as ever.
And I had to hug her immediately and it wasn't just one of those little "its good to see you hugs" that lasts a few seconds if that.
Oh no this was a good long warm hug.
She is like my adopted mother and just like when i'm reunited with my actual mother and father after a long time away, its hard to let go.
And it was hard to let go of her right then because I didn't want it to end and I didn't want her to have to leave.
But there she was, a little battered from the storm she had just endured, but all in all, the same woman that has taken us on not only as students but as adopted children.
It made my day and pretty much my week that I was one of the few that got to see her before she had to leave.
Her immune system isn't quite back to normal but shes fighting to get back to us.
And even though she may not be around as much this semester, we all know that she will be back.
And there will be more warm hugs for us when she does return.
Thanks again adopted mom for coming back to see us off to a new semester.
We all loved seeing you back and smiling like old times.
My last first day.
Can you believe its my last first day?
I certainly cannot.
But I feel this sense of responsibility now.
Like this is my last year and I need to make the absolute most of it.
Like maybe i'll actually go the homecoming football game this year.
I'll actually get in shape.
I'll actually like myself.
But I remember going to kindergarten, with my Barbie lunch box.
And apparently I cried in the bathroom for the first half hour or so of kindergarten.
Hey I was scared.
But my first day I actually wasn't nervous.
I finally figured this out.
I was at the top of the heap.
For the first time since I can remember, I didn't have those nervous first day butterflies that always made me a hot mess the first day of class.
But not this year.
Because I think I just knew i'd be OK.
And of course the first people I see back are in band.
And then I have my Spanish class and then my video class and then band.
And I just felt pretty and like I could do this.
I can do senior year.
I can finally handle it.
And the fact that Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift came out, helped as well
I certainly cannot.
But I feel this sense of responsibility now.
Like this is my last year and I need to make the absolute most of it.
Like maybe i'll actually go the homecoming football game this year.
I'll actually get in shape.
I'll actually like myself.
But I remember going to kindergarten, with my Barbie lunch box.
And apparently I cried in the bathroom for the first half hour or so of kindergarten.
Hey I was scared.
But my first day I actually wasn't nervous.
I finally figured this out.
I was at the top of the heap.
For the first time since I can remember, I didn't have those nervous first day butterflies that always made me a hot mess the first day of class.
But not this year.
Because I think I just knew i'd be OK.
And of course the first people I see back are in band.
And then I have my Spanish class and then my video class and then band.
And I just felt pretty and like I could do this.
I can do senior year.
I can finally handle it.
And the fact that Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift came out, helped as well
Wait...senior year starts tomorrow?
The moment when you realize you have 3 million things to do before tomorrow and only a few hours to do that.
Yeah that happened.
And I had to work.
So everything had to happen after work.
And I realized I needed to get my school supplies still.
Nothing says adult quite like getting your school supplies at walmart at like 8 pm.
With all the other idiots that forgot to plan.
I seriously have a 5 subject notebook that looks like its for a second grader because that was the only one left.
And I freaking love my purple polka dot 5 subject notebook.
To top it off I have obscenely colored school supplies but I had to make sure it all kind of went together or else I would go crazy.
Because i'm weird and if things clash I will go crazy.
Like if someone sits in my spot in class, its bad.
You will know this if you've ever had a class with me and sit in my spot.
I pick a spot and stick with it.
Why cant everyone just sit in the same spot every freaking day??
And then if a row of desks that i'm sitting in isn't straight. I have to straighten it or I will get a headache.
But yes I now am fully organized.
Binder with folders for each subject, check.
5 subject notebook. check.
Different color pens and a certain color per class. check
Mechanical pencils.check
And an obscenely large and roomy planner. check
This girl is ready for senior year.
Yeah that happened.
And I had to work.
So everything had to happen after work.
And I realized I needed to get my school supplies still.
Nothing says adult quite like getting your school supplies at walmart at like 8 pm.
With all the other idiots that forgot to plan.
I seriously have a 5 subject notebook that looks like its for a second grader because that was the only one left.
And I freaking love my purple polka dot 5 subject notebook.
To top it off I have obscenely colored school supplies but I had to make sure it all kind of went together or else I would go crazy.
Because i'm weird and if things clash I will go crazy.
Like if someone sits in my spot in class, its bad.
You will know this if you've ever had a class with me and sit in my spot.
I pick a spot and stick with it.
Why cant everyone just sit in the same spot every freaking day??
And then if a row of desks that i'm sitting in isn't straight. I have to straighten it or I will get a headache.
But yes I now am fully organized.
Binder with folders for each subject, check.
5 subject notebook. check.
Different color pens and a certain color per class. check
Mechanical pencils.check
And an obscenely large and roomy planner. check
This girl is ready for senior year.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Do not do "things" in Jones
Well my exact words were "Do not get freaky in Jones".
Saturday the third day the new students are on campus.
Well I started the day with one earring, no name tag and a huge cup of coffee.
Got the new students to their talk back about Elephant in the Room.
Realized I didn't have the name tag.
Ran home and found it, you guessed it, on yesterday's shirt.
Because I am so good at my job.
Ran back, got the group from their session where we promptly went to our computer session.
Where the computer decided to be incredibly slow.
And the co leader was not very patient.
Not my favorite thing.
And then we got to go on the great american college campus find your classes tour.
So we went through every building to find their classes.
And we talked and we found classes.
And I gave them some advice.
Like don't wear your key lanyard around your neck.
We all play bingo and pick out the freshman.
ALSO
DO NOT GET FREAKY IN JONES.
Jones hall is the music hall and there are a lot of little practice rooms.
Which seeing as most freshman are sharing rooms they need alone time.
And they are all a bit horny.
So I told them they couldn't get it on in the tiny Jones practice rooms.
Because eww.
After that we sat around, ate some chocolate, answered some more questions.
Then headed over to the football fields for the end of orientation.
And then we had our lunch for orientation leaders and we all said our goodbyes.
I love orientation and will genuinely miss all the people and those in my group.
But I went home, cleaned and took a nap.
AND THEN THE ROOMMATE CAME BACK AND I WAS THE HAPPIEST CAMPER EVER!!
Saturday the third day the new students are on campus.
Well I started the day with one earring, no name tag and a huge cup of coffee.
Got the new students to their talk back about Elephant in the Room.
Realized I didn't have the name tag.
Ran home and found it, you guessed it, on yesterday's shirt.
Because I am so good at my job.
Ran back, got the group from their session where we promptly went to our computer session.
Where the computer decided to be incredibly slow.
And the co leader was not very patient.
Not my favorite thing.
And then we got to go on the great american college campus find your classes tour.
So we went through every building to find their classes.
And we talked and we found classes.
And I gave them some advice.
Like don't wear your key lanyard around your neck.
We all play bingo and pick out the freshman.
ALSO
DO NOT GET FREAKY IN JONES.
Jones hall is the music hall and there are a lot of little practice rooms.
Which seeing as most freshman are sharing rooms they need alone time.
And they are all a bit horny.
So I told them they couldn't get it on in the tiny Jones practice rooms.
Because eww.
After that we sat around, ate some chocolate, answered some more questions.
Then headed over to the football fields for the end of orientation.
And then we had our lunch for orientation leaders and we all said our goodbyes.
I love orientation and will genuinely miss all the people and those in my group.
But I went home, cleaned and took a nap.
AND THEN THE ROOMMATE CAME BACK AND I WAS THE HAPPIEST CAMPER EVER!!
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