I just have a lot of feelings

So I think we have all found out by now, I am an emotional roller coaster and a half.

That is just me.

I try to hold everything inside and then something minuscule will happen and it will set it off.
I have triggers which sometimes makes new friendships, relationships or acquaintances interesting when they are still learning all of my quirks.

I don't know all of my triggers just yet but one that seems to always go off at inopportune times is when i'm stressed and then someone is genuinely nice to me, that will set me off for no good reason.

And that happened today.
At work.
During an interview.

Because i'm a hot mess.


So today at Mild to Wild I was interviewing for the trip adviser position.
And I had to know all the trips and their different little details and what ages and what happened and yadda yadda yadda.
Well I didn't really realize the full extent of the interview until like an hour before.

So i'm scrambling and stressed.
And then we do the interview which is a role play situation.

I do decent.

And when shes reviewing how I did, one of the owners, who is super nice, just asked me out of the blue how I deal with stress.

And that set it off.
Damn it.

Which then sets this whole different tone and I can just feel that after this I will just be looked at differently which is not my intention.

I do not deal well with new people treating me with extra kindness.
I like to earn it.
Just treat me with the same respect you give everyone else until I earn it otherwise.
I do not do well with special treatment.

And some people can just set me off if they are nice to me.
Leslie Blood, Steve Meyers, Dr. Walters and now my new boss.

Fan-flipping-tastic.

So at least you haven't locked your keys in your car in the past 48 hours and cried in front of your new boss during an interview.

I think I will just keep with my current position and let someone else be the trip adviser.
For everyone's sake especially, the owners.