I am not "Shy"

So I wouldnt typically consider myself all that shy of a person.

I mean I can be quiet and introverted but I can usually strike up a conversation a lot easier now.

Well as you may have guess today at one of my jobs one person congratulated me on being more outgoing because i'm apparently "shy".

I'm not shy. I just have found that I have to keep my mouth shut and head down more often around some of them.

For example today.
I was doing something near the front desk and I had a question about an activity that i'm scheduled for on Wednesday. Called Smoozing.
Do you know what that is or what it means? No? Neither did I so I asked really quick.

So I ask the girls up front because they seem to not be too busy. And its a pretty simple question with a pretty simple answer.
The entire conversation takes maybe 30 seconds.

Then this one girl who is a bit higher up, comes up front, confronts me about asking them a question because apparently "they need to do their work" and shes noticed that I've "had a lot of down time lately and need to keep busy"
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RANT TIME! FEEL FREE TO SKIP AHEAD!

Now just to preface this job has a lot of little jobs to do. I have a freaking list to do.
And I've grown into what all I need to do in my position.
And they tend to treat me like a small child because i'm new but I can handle this.

The other day after I was done with everything on my list I had to have one of my managers sign off that I did everything.
Like i'm 12 or something.

My mentality is to just let me do my thing and I will get it done. Do not try to micro manage me. It never ends well.
And I have no idea what she was talking about me having "down time", because I hardly ever sit down.
I don't get a break apposed to her.
I'm always on my feet doing something and running around.

And then to get up from the back just to tell me to not bother them like I was a freaking pest.
They were not doing anything all that pressing and I just had a quick question.
And she didn't have to confront me in front of those girls and make me look like a complete idiot.

I have barely talked to the girls all morning which is super hard for me to do because I like to check in with people.
But I guess I just need to focus on my work and that's it.
Can't be social for even a minute.



It just annoys me when people assume things with out all the facts.
Like assuming that i'm lazy when I have clearly been working my little ass off all morning.
And what gets me is that she embarrassed me in front of those girls which I would never do anything like that because I hate it when people do it to me.
And assuming i'm shy because if I talk that's being lazy, and quite frankly its been so hard trying to make friends at that place.
The guys are wonderful.
The girls are hit or miss.
Lainey, Whitney and Carter. Consistently nice.

The rest its a crap shoot.



But after all of this I went for a walk and tried to clear my head.
I went down the animas river trail for a bit and sat on a bench and talked out some of my emotions.
Remind myself that I am appreciated else where.
That I have friends that care.
That I have a family that loves and supports me.

I let my hair down for the first time all day and let the wind lace through it.
I love that feeling.
And I tried to let go of some of the negativity that had happened that day.
And i'm doing better.

So dear reader, always think before you speak and never assume.
Always be the more polite one.
And kill them with kindness.