MAYBE THIS TIME

Warning you all now.

This is going to be an angry rage blog.

Do not read.

Or read with your own discretion.

you have been warned.

proceed with caution.

I'm sorry world but I cannot be unicorns and butterflies all the time.

Sometimes I cant update this blog every day!

I hardly have time for myself much less this blog that I took on as a daily challenge.

Sometimes i'm done writing.

I cant think of anything.

i'm too tired for this.

But here I am!

And

BECAUSE I'M TAKING 18 CREDIT HOURS AND SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PARENT PEOPLE THAT ARE TECHNICALLY ADULTS.

I don't win at everything.

I cant do everything.

I am far from perfect

So stop thinking i'm invincible!

I have a bad habit where I hate to say no.

So when you ask me to help you out and you don't exactly have that great of relationship with me, or maybe you were mean to me recently for no reason,i'm not exactly the nicest person.

Or when I have to cover for you for things that you were expected to do, thats no good.

Extraneous circumstances I can deal with. 

But outright blatant laziness I cannot.

Little things like say I don't know, supporting me when I might need a friend, go a long freaking way when you ask me for favors.

And when I commit to something I see it through to the end.

I am blunt when I need to be. 

And decisions are often black and white to me.

I get my stuff done.

I am freaking dependable.

And I unfortunately expect that for everyone else in my life which is NEVER REALISTIC!

I try to give everyone a second chance, but when I am nice to you and you cant even muster to be nice back for multiple times, thats when bad things happen.

I've given you chances and have blown them.

Sorry no more chances.

Thats just how I work.

I will never be one of those girls in a complicated relationship.

Because either you want me or you don't.

There will never be this go between of "ohh I like you now " and then the next day "ohh i'm having second thoughts"

Do not toy with my heart.

Its either all or nothing for me.

I fall so hard its not even funny.

So when I fall, which isn't that often because i'm extremely particular, its harder than an asteroid hitting the sun.

So don't think I like to play games or that I like to over complicate my life.

Maybe I took this challenge on because I want to prove something.

Or maybe its because I don't trust anyone else to do it right.

I'm mean like that. 

If I could just simplify all the problems in my life that would be great.

But that is not realistic.

So stop thinking I'm doing all this crazy stuff for fun.

Because maybe its because I believe i'm the only one I trust to do it right.

I like to freaking work alone for a reason.

Or with people that don't let me down.

Because I hate being the bad guy. 

And having to pick up your mess.

So stop giving me a hard time because i'm doing my damn best.

I push myself harder than anyone has ever pushed me.

I am harder on myself and my mistakes than anyone has ever done to me.

Try to tear me down, go ahead.

I've probably already thought all the terrible things your are saying to me already.

Doesn't make it any better. Its just a new voice saying it.

That's why I don't take compliments well.

Because no one ever keeps their word.

Compliments are superfluous meaningless words.

Want to impress me?

Have a damn good character and integrity.

Don't try to woo me with your honeyed words.

I wont believe them.