Tension.

We all have tension in our lives.
This pull and release of pressure.

Well currently since I am down one job for a reason that I cannot fully comprehend or wrap my head around.
So there has been some built up tension.

Maybe my idea of a summer hasn't lived up to what I had wanted it to be.
Working a lot.
Making friends.
Meeting people.
Cooking.
Discovering myself as a person.
Working out.
Being single.



It hasn't exactly been that.
Believe it or not.

And now I have more free time because we all know why.
And it just doesn't sit well.
I am not ok when i'm not busy.

I like to have plans.

I like to feel productive.

And sometimes all my body wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep.
And snuggle with my pillows.



I wanted to start brunch with friends
Have a group that regularly goes out and has some fun.
Flirt a bit and let myself go a little.
If you didn't notice I am pretty uptight so to just let go even a little bit is something that doesn't happen all that often.


I've listened to Fight Song by Rachel Platten probably 20 times in the past week.
Just over and over.
Just to remind myself that its ok.
I will move on.



 But i've taken up running.
And that helps some with the tension because I just run it out.
I run and let my long legs finally get to their full length.
Feel the wind in my hair.
And just be.


So yes I am human.
I have tension.
And i'm learning to cope.
One day at a time.