Did you ever see the movie Oliver and Company.
It was a great 90's movie about this little tabby cat that befriends a gang of dogs in New York City.
My childhood was Disney movies.
Do not judge.
It was great.
Well there's a part where Oliver is chasing after his doggy friend for his lunch and he sings the song Why Should I Worry.
About not thinking too much and stressing yourself about life.
That you'll figure it out.
You can improvise.
Well after my family left on monday morning, I had an interview at Renae Marie's at 2.
So I had to get ready.
And so I did and headed off.
AND CAME OUT WITH A JOB!
WAIT WHAT?!
Well when I walked out I had the biggest grin on my face because I had found a job.
When I was job searching in June it took a while so I was expecting to find a job so quick.
But I did!
And I came out of the interview feeling very similar to the doggy friend that is singing in Why Should I Worry.
Because I had solved my problems of stressing about loosing a job and then soon M2W will be ending.
So I wanted another job.
And I got it.
In those moments a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
And it felt so good.
I couldn't stop grinning.
I had gotten a job.
And it felt so good.
So I got a cupcake from Yellow Carrot to celebrate.
I did something right.
I was determined and I wasn't broken.
I had made what I needed to have done sooner than expected.
Good job Jules.
Massive pat on the back!
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Hot springs and surprises
So I was supposed to be covering someone on sunday morning.
I get to work and find out that she wasn't even scheduled.
Someone else is there so I just get to go home.
Which was fine with me because the family was here and if there was toss up between work and family. It is always family.
So I was thrilled to go home and spend the entire day with them!
So we decided to make the trip to Ouray for the day.
There are hot springs up there and we hadnt been up there in two years so we wanted to visit again.
If you haven't been to Ouray, it is absolutely worth the slightly treacherous drive.
After a lovely lunch, with full on food babies in tow, we went to the hot springs.
Which I highly recommend because they are super fun and the hot pool is actually pretty toasty.
So we spent a few hours there with Claire wanting to play and dunk me.
We went down the slides.
Relaxed and just had some good fun.
Enjoying our last day together for a while.
After all that and we got dried off and prettied ourselves again we headed back to durango.
Claire and I conked out for a while whilst the parents drove.
Got back to durango and went out to Himalayan kitchen.
Awesome food and we waddled back to the car where we decided that we were in the mood for pie.
Tollhouse pie.
Which is just about the best thing ever.
And then we invited my good friend Allie over for pie.
She hadn't met the crazy people that I like to call my family yet.
And it went splendidly.
Well of course it did.
And I had a second day with the family in town.
The next day they were headed home.
But I hugged Claire a little tighter that night.
I get to work and find out that she wasn't even scheduled.
Someone else is there so I just get to go home.
Which was fine with me because the family was here and if there was toss up between work and family. It is always family.
So I was thrilled to go home and spend the entire day with them!
So we decided to make the trip to Ouray for the day.
There are hot springs up there and we hadnt been up there in two years so we wanted to visit again.
If you haven't been to Ouray, it is absolutely worth the slightly treacherous drive.
After a lovely lunch, with full on food babies in tow, we went to the hot springs.
Which I highly recommend because they are super fun and the hot pool is actually pretty toasty.
So we spent a few hours there with Claire wanting to play and dunk me.
We went down the slides.
Relaxed and just had some good fun.
Enjoying our last day together for a while.
After all that and we got dried off and prettied ourselves again we headed back to durango.
Claire and I conked out for a while whilst the parents drove.
Got back to durango and went out to Himalayan kitchen.
Awesome food and we waddled back to the car where we decided that we were in the mood for pie.
Tollhouse pie.
Which is just about the best thing ever.
And then we invited my good friend Allie over for pie.
She hadn't met the crazy people that I like to call my family yet.
And it went splendidly.
Well of course it did.
And I had a second day with the family in town.
The next day they were headed home.
But I hugged Claire a little tighter that night.
And then my buddy flew in
So Saturday started out with a trip to the farmers market which was lovely because we perused around and them mom found the acupuncturist so I took Claire to my old work and introduced her to my old coworkers and one of my good friends Casey.
We had a lovely pot of peach iced tea.
Chatted and then headed back to mom.
We made lunch and went shopping for a little bit before we headed to the airport to pick up dad.
Dad was flying in because he had to finish some business out east and then he got to fly into Durango and experience the Durango La Plata County Airport.
In its glorious 3 gates.
Dad and I are buddies.
And he wasn't able to come down last trip due to work so I was so happy he was able to come down.
Each member of my family fills a different niche that I need.
And I hadn't seen my dad and I needed that filled.
So suffice to say I was really happy to see him.
We saw him walk through the doors that lead to the waiting area and he promptly runs to the bathroom before seeing us.
Apparently he just had to go.
Well we got to see him soon after and I gave him the biggest hug.
I needed a big dad hug.
He is able to pick me up when he hugs me because he is around 6'1" tall.
So yes, that is where I got my height.
Eyes from mom.
Height and eyebrows from Dad.
But I needed Dad to come to Durango.
And so the rest of the day we just hung out, went to honeyville, made dinner and had Deanna and Carter over so they could see everyone.
Lovely evening and day of just having my family here.
I just wish Owen had been down too, but thats ok.
Maybe next time I will have the entire family here!
We had a lovely pot of peach iced tea.
Chatted and then headed back to mom.
We made lunch and went shopping for a little bit before we headed to the airport to pick up dad.
Dad was flying in because he had to finish some business out east and then he got to fly into Durango and experience the Durango La Plata County Airport.
In its glorious 3 gates.
Dad and I are buddies.
And he wasn't able to come down last trip due to work so I was so happy he was able to come down.
Each member of my family fills a different niche that I need.
And I hadn't seen my dad and I needed that filled.
So suffice to say I was really happy to see him.
We saw him walk through the doors that lead to the waiting area and he promptly runs to the bathroom before seeing us.
Apparently he just had to go.
Well we got to see him soon after and I gave him the biggest hug.
I needed a big dad hug.
He is able to pick me up when he hugs me because he is around 6'1" tall.
So yes, that is where I got my height.
Eyes from mom.
Height and eyebrows from Dad.
But I needed Dad to come to Durango.
And so the rest of the day we just hung out, went to honeyville, made dinner and had Deanna and Carter over so they could see everyone.
Lovely evening and day of just having my family here.
I just wish Owen had been down too, but thats ok.
Maybe next time I will have the entire family here!
The females come to town
So Friday also marked a few other things besides being single.
My mom and sister were coming into town.
And I picked up my last paycheck at There's No Place Like Home.
And I dropped off a resume at Renae Marie.
And this one lady decided to micromanage me...
BUT MY THE FEMALES CAME TO TOWN AND IT MADE MY DAY.
I had been wanting them to come again all summer but with everything I wasnt sure if it was going to happen.
But they called Wednesday night and had this crazy idea.
And I may have burst into tears.
Because I'm lonely and needed a hug.
And none of my friends will snuggle me.
And we snuggle.
But yes around 4:15 I was waiting on my couch and I heard some people come up the stairs and then I heard the knock and swung open the door and there was Claire with a toothy grin.
And I swept her up and hugged her so hard.
And then mom and Claire came in and I gave mom a great big hug too.
We hung out and talked for a bit.
Made dinner and then I decided it would be a good time to introduce them to the wonderful magic of Cream Bean Berry so we headed over there and got some sundaes.
Headed home and had a girly night in of doing our nails and just catching up.
I know I always bash females for being crazy and mean.
But I forgot how much I like spending time with my mom and sister.
I have really missed them this summer.
So it was good to go to sleep beside my baby sister.
And have them here with me.
To feel your family in the same space you are.
The best thing ever in my opinion.
My mom and sister were coming into town.
And I picked up my last paycheck at There's No Place Like Home.
And I dropped off a resume at Renae Marie.
And this one lady decided to micromanage me...
BUT MY THE FEMALES CAME TO TOWN AND IT MADE MY DAY.
I had been wanting them to come again all summer but with everything I wasnt sure if it was going to happen.
But they called Wednesday night and had this crazy idea.
And I may have burst into tears.
Because I'm lonely and needed a hug.
And none of my friends will snuggle me.
And we snuggle.
But yes around 4:15 I was waiting on my couch and I heard some people come up the stairs and then I heard the knock and swung open the door and there was Claire with a toothy grin.
And I swept her up and hugged her so hard.
And then mom and Claire came in and I gave mom a great big hug too.
We hung out and talked for a bit.
Made dinner and then I decided it would be a good time to introduce them to the wonderful magic of Cream Bean Berry so we headed over there and got some sundaes.
Headed home and had a girly night in of doing our nails and just catching up.
I know I always bash females for being crazy and mean.
But I forgot how much I like spending time with my mom and sister.
I have really missed them this summer.
So it was good to go to sleep beside my baby sister.
And have them here with me.
To feel your family in the same space you are.
The best thing ever in my opinion.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
I got two hands, one beating heart. And I'll be alright. I'm gonna be alright.
So Friday July 24th 2015 marked exactly one year since my ex and I broke up and went our separate ways.
In many ways this past year has been hard but in others it has been one of the best.
And I just wanted to thank everyone for helping me along. There have been plenty of days that I needed a hug and one of you were there for me or had kind words to help.
I never thought this day would come and suddenly it just snuck up on me.
And now its been an entire year since I broke up with Grant.
First off. Thank you to Grant for also realizing that it was best for both of us to let go of each other and head off in opposite directions in life.
Thank you for being there for me for almost 2 years. I needed someone and you were there. But i'm glad we grew up enough to realize that it was best to part instead of trying to make a relationship work. Thank you for being kind and not dragging it out. Thank you for finishing a relationship with me and for letting me have closure.
Second I want to thank my amazing family that has stood by me through good days and bad. Who gave me a hard time. Who made me able to laugh at myself now and how incredibly awkward I am and how I have the worst timing. But also able to accept my flaws as they were.
Third to my incredible friends that were there too. Those that I grew closer to in this past year and have fully taken on me as a friend. Thank you to Deanna, Carter, Allie, Mike, Catherine, Lainey and Luke. You have all helped me in some way. Whether it be setting me up or pushing me or making me laugh. And of course to my fantastic roommate who has taken the place of my constant source of significant otherness. Whenever there are tears or a need to rant, she is there and helps me to get up again.
Thanks to the educators that I have randomly broken down in tears in front of in the past year. For the most stupid reasons and yet still have a listening ear even though it may be not worth your time.
And lastly to all the men that have helped me get back out there. It may not have worked out but thanks for understanding and seeing something in me.
And even though i've found I do not need this significant other companionship to be happy I still appreciate all that you all have done.Whether it be a confidence boost, a hug or just letting me free.
I am happy where I am all because of you all.
Thank you.
In many ways this past year has been hard but in others it has been one of the best.
And I just wanted to thank everyone for helping me along. There have been plenty of days that I needed a hug and one of you were there for me or had kind words to help.
I never thought this day would come and suddenly it just snuck up on me.
And now its been an entire year since I broke up with Grant.
First off. Thank you to Grant for also realizing that it was best for both of us to let go of each other and head off in opposite directions in life.
Thank you for being there for me for almost 2 years. I needed someone and you were there. But i'm glad we grew up enough to realize that it was best to part instead of trying to make a relationship work. Thank you for being kind and not dragging it out. Thank you for finishing a relationship with me and for letting me have closure.
Second I want to thank my amazing family that has stood by me through good days and bad. Who gave me a hard time. Who made me able to laugh at myself now and how incredibly awkward I am and how I have the worst timing. But also able to accept my flaws as they were.
Third to my incredible friends that were there too. Those that I grew closer to in this past year and have fully taken on me as a friend. Thank you to Deanna, Carter, Allie, Mike, Catherine, Lainey and Luke. You have all helped me in some way. Whether it be setting me up or pushing me or making me laugh. And of course to my fantastic roommate who has taken the place of my constant source of significant otherness. Whenever there are tears or a need to rant, she is there and helps me to get up again.
Thanks to the educators that I have randomly broken down in tears in front of in the past year. For the most stupid reasons and yet still have a listening ear even though it may be not worth your time.
And lastly to all the men that have helped me get back out there. It may not have worked out but thanks for understanding and seeing something in me.
And even though i've found I do not need this significant other companionship to be happy I still appreciate all that you all have done.Whether it be a confidence boost, a hug or just letting me free.
I am happy where I am all because of you all.
Thank you.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
A former raft guide's daughter
So about 29 years ago ish my dad was my age.
The ripe young age of 21.
And get this if you didn't guess from the title.
He was a raft guide on the weekends.
Now if you have ever had Jack Martin as a teacher you might not know this but my dad and him used to be old raft buddies.
All their adventures and crazy raft trips they did.
The bus shenanigans.
My mom went ONCE and was not amused with the rafting life style. She must have been OK at least with it because they had only met less than a year before that and then ended up getting married so it must have been half way descent.
There's a picture of my dad I remember clearly from around that time.
First off, he had a full head of hair.
Shocking.
Second, he was wearing those lovely little 80's cut off jean shorts.
And he was the typical raft guide of built and tanned from the sun.
I hope to god those shorts never come back.
But this summer i'm working at a rafting company and I have never been rafting before in my life.
I know crazy.
But I went for the first time the other day.
And it was AMAZING!
I wasn't too sure what to think about it because I had never been and I was going on the mild trip so what was going to happen really.
Well first two older ladies and a family adopted me into their group.
Good start.
And then I had the most friendly girl guide named Lee.
Who was just the epitome of awkward and adorable.
And we had so much fun together.
I jumped out of the raft and swam around a little at a calm part.
I paddled with the rest of my crew.
I laughed and splashed the other boats.
And I came out a little singed from the sun but overall it was a very satisfying day of adventure.
And I went through my first class 3 rapid.
So yes I do have a little bit of that raft guide gene in me I guess.
Adventure, water, rapid, the sun.
All great things.
But all I know is that I have this thirst to go again.
The ripe young age of 21.
And get this if you didn't guess from the title.
He was a raft guide on the weekends.
Now if you have ever had Jack Martin as a teacher you might not know this but my dad and him used to be old raft buddies.
All their adventures and crazy raft trips they did.
The bus shenanigans.
My mom went ONCE and was not amused with the rafting life style. She must have been OK at least with it because they had only met less than a year before that and then ended up getting married so it must have been half way descent.
There's a picture of my dad I remember clearly from around that time.
First off, he had a full head of hair.
Shocking.
Second, he was wearing those lovely little 80's cut off jean shorts.
And he was the typical raft guide of built and tanned from the sun.
I hope to god those shorts never come back.
But this summer i'm working at a rafting company and I have never been rafting before in my life.
I know crazy.
But I went for the first time the other day.
And it was AMAZING!
I wasn't too sure what to think about it because I had never been and I was going on the mild trip so what was going to happen really.
Well first two older ladies and a family adopted me into their group.
Good start.
And then I had the most friendly girl guide named Lee.
Who was just the epitome of awkward and adorable.
And we had so much fun together.
I jumped out of the raft and swam around a little at a calm part.
I paddled with the rest of my crew.
I laughed and splashed the other boats.
And I came out a little singed from the sun but overall it was a very satisfying day of adventure.
And I went through my first class 3 rapid.
So yes I do have a little bit of that raft guide gene in me I guess.
Adventure, water, rapid, the sun.
All great things.
But all I know is that I have this thirst to go again.
Ouch.
I somehow forgot how a body that is used to staying at rest and a pretty constant state of not moving extremely fast responds to running.
I am fine with yoga and little exercises.
But running.
I forgot how jarring it can be to a body
Usually when I do cardio i'm on an elliptical at the gym.
No major bouncing.
No cracks in the side walk.
And not nearly as many awkward older men gawking at you as you run by with your Spanish work out station on.
Its a love hate relationship really.
I love the feeling of wind through my hair.
The breeze that whips by.
And feeling the full strength of my legs.
But afterwards i'm reminded that i have broken down my muscles and used them and now they are in need of rebuilding.
Oh how my legs ached.
And then when I tried to run again I couldn't for as long.
Not because I was out of breathe.
But because my legs were so stiff.
But it feels so good to run out the tension.
And any drama that i'm feeling.
To be active and strong and young.
To feel fit and not self conscious about my body.
I am liking what I see more and more.
Though...
Maybe only every other day of running.
Just so I do not kill my legs.
And myself.
I am fine with yoga and little exercises.
But running.
I forgot how jarring it can be to a body
Usually when I do cardio i'm on an elliptical at the gym.
No major bouncing.
No cracks in the side walk.
And not nearly as many awkward older men gawking at you as you run by with your Spanish work out station on.
Its a love hate relationship really.
I love the feeling of wind through my hair.
The breeze that whips by.
And feeling the full strength of my legs.
But afterwards i'm reminded that i have broken down my muscles and used them and now they are in need of rebuilding.
Oh how my legs ached.
And then when I tried to run again I couldn't for as long.
Not because I was out of breathe.
But because my legs were so stiff.
But it feels so good to run out the tension.
And any drama that i'm feeling.
To be active and strong and young.
To feel fit and not self conscious about my body.
I am liking what I see more and more.
Though...
Maybe only every other day of running.
Just so I do not kill my legs.
And myself.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
The art of racing the train
Did you see what I did there?
The art of racing the train.
The art of racing in the rain.
I know, I have my clever moments sometimes...
But yes, I "raced" the train.
As in I heard it coming through my ear buds that were playing the spanish workout station and knew the tracks were by my path so as soon as I saw it coming I started running.
Like a badass.
Actually just kidding I raced it for maybe 45 seconds before I stopped and walked it out.
Because inside i'm still a fat kid in gym class.
I am not that fit.
Working on it, but not there just yet.
It felt so good to just feel the wind in my hair.
I love that feeling.
Like every piece of hair has a curl of wind wrapped around it.
So good.
Did you ever see the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?
There's a part where Bridget (Blake Lively) is at this Soccer camp and she just pulls ahead of the group and runs and runs.
There's the song Unwritten that plays and she majestically runs along.
I was trying to embody that sort of.
You know the 5'10" bronde that I am is trying to embody Blake Lively another 5'10" bronde.
Yeah that worked out well.
I can sprint and jog.
But most of my work out is me catching my breath and then convincing myself to run again as soon as this person passes me or so I can pass this slow walker with out it being weird...
And then at the end of the train, the caboose had a cute guy on it.
Best run ever.
The art of racing the train.
The art of racing in the rain.
I know, I have my clever moments sometimes...
But yes, I "raced" the train.
As in I heard it coming through my ear buds that were playing the spanish workout station and knew the tracks were by my path so as soon as I saw it coming I started running.
Like a badass.
Actually just kidding I raced it for maybe 45 seconds before I stopped and walked it out.
Because inside i'm still a fat kid in gym class.
I am not that fit.
Working on it, but not there just yet.
It felt so good to just feel the wind in my hair.
I love that feeling.
Like every piece of hair has a curl of wind wrapped around it.
So good.
Did you ever see the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?
There's a part where Bridget (Blake Lively) is at this Soccer camp and she just pulls ahead of the group and runs and runs.
There's the song Unwritten that plays and she majestically runs along.
I was trying to embody that sort of.
You know the 5'10" bronde that I am is trying to embody Blake Lively another 5'10" bronde.
Yeah that worked out well.
I can sprint and jog.
But most of my work out is me catching my breath and then convincing myself to run again as soon as this person passes me or so I can pass this slow walker with out it being weird...
And then at the end of the train, the caboose had a cute guy on it.
Best run ever.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
All you need is ice cream and running
Yes you read right.
Running and ice cream.
I've had ice cream as a comfort in my life for pretty much my entire life.
It is my vice.
And talenti gelato is amazing when you are having a bad day.
Or any flavor from Cream Bean Berry.
But really just recently i've taken up running.
And I really like it.
I can just run at my own pace with out judgement and get out any frustrations or tension that I might have.
And its so fun.
Especially if you have spotify and put on the spanish workout station.
Then that is super fun.
But honestly if you feel like you don't want to take up running because you feel you need to do miles upon miles in the hot sun.
Don't do that.
Start small.
You don't have to run the entire time.
That is OK.
I certainly don't!
I usually try to get out of sight of the last person I passed.
But really you can't beat running along to Hips Don't Lie and a gorgeous animas river trail.
But today was national icecream day,
Which I found out about as I was going on a run.
So I went on the run and then met up with Lainey at Cream Bean Berry for icecream to celebrate.
Counter productive slightly but I had chocolate icecream and after you run you are supposed to drink chocolate milk.
So thats the same thing right?
Well now i'm running kind of.
Can you believe it?
I cant.
Well tomorrow morning i'm planning on going on a run.
Lets see if it actually happens!
Running and ice cream.
I've had ice cream as a comfort in my life for pretty much my entire life.
It is my vice.
And talenti gelato is amazing when you are having a bad day.
Or any flavor from Cream Bean Berry.
But really just recently i've taken up running.
And I really like it.
I can just run at my own pace with out judgement and get out any frustrations or tension that I might have.
And its so fun.
Especially if you have spotify and put on the spanish workout station.
Then that is super fun.
But honestly if you feel like you don't want to take up running because you feel you need to do miles upon miles in the hot sun.
Don't do that.
Start small.
You don't have to run the entire time.
That is OK.
I certainly don't!
I usually try to get out of sight of the last person I passed.
But really you can't beat running along to Hips Don't Lie and a gorgeous animas river trail.
But today was national icecream day,
Which I found out about as I was going on a run.
So I went on the run and then met up with Lainey at Cream Bean Berry for icecream to celebrate.
Counter productive slightly but I had chocolate icecream and after you run you are supposed to drink chocolate milk.
So thats the same thing right?
Well now i'm running kind of.
Can you believe it?
I cant.
Well tomorrow morning i'm planning on going on a run.
Lets see if it actually happens!
Saturday, July 18, 2015
I think you and the moon and neptune got it right
I'm sure i'm the last one to jump on the band wagon of the song Bright by Echosmith.
But I've literally played it 15 times just today.
My neighbors might kill me soonish because once I find a song I like I play it over
and over
and over again.
Until its literally ingrained in my mind.
Because that's healthy.
But yes I really like this song.
And I actually let my shields down last night which pretty much never happens.
So usually when I go out with friends I take forever because i'm gussying myself up.
This didn't happen yesterday because I hadn't planned on going out because I was babysitting and then I had to work today.
So in general I don't go crazy.
And I definitely wasn't going to tonight.
But I went out.
After a long day.
And babysitting.
I went out sin gussed.
No extra perfect make up.
Just white shorts, a captain america t-shirt, some messy hair and a red lip.
Pretty basic.
But I forgot how much I like shorts.
Usually I wear a skirt so I have to act like a lady but I was wearing shorts that fit everything right so I I was comfortable.
And I had fun.
I didn't drink.
Met up with some friends and then we moved on to a favorite bar of ours.
But I did find some cute coworkers from m2w.
Always a plus.
Got told how good my legs and butt were. Multiple times.
Flirted a bit.
And I just let myself be.
Which is good because I never just let my hair down and be in the moment.
I'm always planning and thinking too hard.
This time I just lived.
And it was good.
And I had fun.
But I've literally played it 15 times just today.
My neighbors might kill me soonish because once I find a song I like I play it over
and over
and over again.
Until its literally ingrained in my mind.
Because that's healthy.
But yes I really like this song.
And I actually let my shields down last night which pretty much never happens.
So usually when I go out with friends I take forever because i'm gussying myself up.
This didn't happen yesterday because I hadn't planned on going out because I was babysitting and then I had to work today.
So in general I don't go crazy.
And I definitely wasn't going to tonight.
But I went out.
After a long day.
And babysitting.
I went out sin gussed.
No extra perfect make up.
Just white shorts, a captain america t-shirt, some messy hair and a red lip.
Pretty basic.
But I forgot how much I like shorts.
Usually I wear a skirt so I have to act like a lady but I was wearing shorts that fit everything right so I I was comfortable.
And I had fun.
I didn't drink.
Met up with some friends and then we moved on to a favorite bar of ours.
But I did find some cute coworkers from m2w.
Always a plus.
Got told how good my legs and butt were. Multiple times.
Flirted a bit.
And I just let myself be.
Which is good because I never just let my hair down and be in the moment.
I'm always planning and thinking too hard.
This time I just lived.
And it was good.
And I had fun.
The mountains are calling, and I must go.
So the other day I drove up to Silverton for work.
More smoozing.
And I was fine to do that because I wanted to push myself a bit driving wise.
And quite frankly I was free so I had time to do it.
So I went.
I think growing up in Colorado you forget how lucky you are to live here.
How absolutely stunning it is.
Yes mom I drove over that pass to Silverton and I was fine.
I was very careful.
I went slow.
And it was just fine.
Unfortunately when I arrived it was raining.
I did have the good thought to bring a rain jacket.
But not extra pants.
And my rain jacket covered my shorts so when zipped up it looked like I was just wearing hiking boots and a burgundy rain jacket.
Awesome look going on.
Well the rain cleared up and I finished smoozing and I headed home.
I loved it.
Well I think I would have liked it more if I hadn't been driving because I really had to watch and there are some scary spots so I was really cautious.
But I stopped at the top of one of the passes and just took in the beauty of being on top of the world.
And I was amazed how I hadn't explored this part of my world as much yet.
So here are to more adventures.
To getting me outside of my comfort zone.
And for awesome fashion choices.
More smoozing.
And I was fine to do that because I wanted to push myself a bit driving wise.
And quite frankly I was free so I had time to do it.
So I went.
I think growing up in Colorado you forget how lucky you are to live here.
How absolutely stunning it is.
Yes mom I drove over that pass to Silverton and I was fine.
I was very careful.
I went slow.
And it was just fine.
Unfortunately when I arrived it was raining.
I did have the good thought to bring a rain jacket.
But not extra pants.
And my rain jacket covered my shorts so when zipped up it looked like I was just wearing hiking boots and a burgundy rain jacket.
Awesome look going on.
Well the rain cleared up and I finished smoozing and I headed home.
I loved it.
Well I think I would have liked it more if I hadn't been driving because I really had to watch and there are some scary spots so I was really cautious.
But I stopped at the top of one of the passes and just took in the beauty of being on top of the world.
And I was amazed how I hadn't explored this part of my world as much yet.
So here are to more adventures.
To getting me outside of my comfort zone.
And for awesome fashion choices.
Tension.
We all have tension in our lives.
This pull and release of pressure.
Well currently since I am down one job for a reason that I cannot fully comprehend or wrap my head around.
So there has been some built up tension.
Maybe my idea of a summer hasn't lived up to what I had wanted it to be.
Working a lot.
Making friends.
Meeting people.
Cooking.
Discovering myself as a person.
Working out.
Being single.
It hasn't exactly been that.
Believe it or not.
And now I have more free time because we all know why.
And it just doesn't sit well.
I am not ok when i'm not busy.
I like to have plans.
I like to feel productive.
And sometimes all my body wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep.
And snuggle with my pillows.
I wanted to start brunch with friends
Have a group that regularly goes out and has some fun.
Flirt a bit and let myself go a little.
If you didn't notice I am pretty uptight so to just let go even a little bit is something that doesn't happen all that often.
I've listened to Fight Song by Rachel Platten probably 20 times in the past week.
Just over and over.
Just to remind myself that its ok.
I will move on.
But i've taken up running.
And that helps some with the tension because I just run it out.
I run and let my long legs finally get to their full length.
Feel the wind in my hair.
And just be.
So yes I am human.
I have tension.
And i'm learning to cope.
One day at a time.
This pull and release of pressure.
Well currently since I am down one job for a reason that I cannot fully comprehend or wrap my head around.
So there has been some built up tension.
Maybe my idea of a summer hasn't lived up to what I had wanted it to be.
Working a lot.
Making friends.
Meeting people.
Cooking.
Discovering myself as a person.
Working out.
Being single.
It hasn't exactly been that.
Believe it or not.
And now I have more free time because we all know why.
And it just doesn't sit well.
I am not ok when i'm not busy.
I like to have plans.
I like to feel productive.
And sometimes all my body wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep.
And snuggle with my pillows.
I wanted to start brunch with friends
Have a group that regularly goes out and has some fun.
Flirt a bit and let myself go a little.
If you didn't notice I am pretty uptight so to just let go even a little bit is something that doesn't happen all that often.
I've listened to Fight Song by Rachel Platten probably 20 times in the past week.
Just over and over.
Just to remind myself that its ok.
I will move on.
But i've taken up running.
And that helps some with the tension because I just run it out.
I run and let my long legs finally get to their full length.
Feel the wind in my hair.
And just be.
So yes I am human.
I have tension.
And i'm learning to cope.
One day at a time.
Mangoes
The only thing wrong with a mango is how big the pit thing is.
I freaking love mangoes.
Like it might be slightly unhealthy how much I love them.
It makes my day when I see them on sale.
I've taken them along for when I go smoozing for work.
And they are just the best fruit like ever.
Unless you dry them.
Then they are awful.
Like mango and salsa is the best thing.
And mango in everything should happen.
I used to not like mangoes at all.
But now i see how juicy they are.
The loose that terrible fiber stuff that gets stuck in your teeth when they really ripen.
And it drips down your chin.
And I pretty much just want to run around telling everyone about my new love for mangoes.
Welcome to my weird world
I freaking love mangoes.
Like it might be slightly unhealthy how much I love them.
It makes my day when I see them on sale.
I've taken them along for when I go smoozing for work.
And they are just the best fruit like ever.
Unless you dry them.
Then they are awful.
Like mango and salsa is the best thing.
And mango in everything should happen.
I used to not like mangoes at all.
But now i see how juicy they are.
The loose that terrible fiber stuff that gets stuck in your teeth when they really ripen.
And it drips down your chin.
And I pretty much just want to run around telling everyone about my new love for mangoes.
Welcome to my weird world
Onward
Onward.
Onward and upward.
Isn't that like how the human race runs?
Always on to something else.
Always progressing.
Always up.
Always bigger.
Always better.
But what if what you had before was something else?
Something that you loved and you didn't want to let it go and move on.
But you had to move on even thought it wasn't your choice.
Maybe you stepped to far and fell over yourself like you did when you were a child.
That is what happened to me this week.
And maybe thats why i'm so late this week with blogs.
I had to have time to process instead of just writing a rage blog about how I was mad and confused about all that happened.
I failed myself this week.
It just didn't work at one of my jobs.
Which hurts a lot because I have never been let go.
I've always quit or the job just ended because it was only for a few months.
As we know i've always been hard to love and I try way too hard.
Well that's what happened.
I just didn't quite fit.
And it caught me off guard because I thought I was safe.
I thought I was set.
Not the case.
There were tears involved and emotions ran high and dad may have accidentally called my manager.
I love that he did that.
He was protecting me.
Buts its been a week and i've picked myself up from the ashes.
Onward and upward to another job.
Thanks to my former coworkers.
You guys were the best.
I think what drives me crazy is that I don't really know the reason why.
But sometimes you don't have closure.
So I will just have to deal with that.
Tomorrow is another day.
Onward and upward.
Isn't that like how the human race runs?
Always on to something else.
Always progressing.
Always up.
Always bigger.
Always better.
But what if what you had before was something else?
Something that you loved and you didn't want to let it go and move on.
But you had to move on even thought it wasn't your choice.
Maybe you stepped to far and fell over yourself like you did when you were a child.
That is what happened to me this week.
And maybe thats why i'm so late this week with blogs.
I had to have time to process instead of just writing a rage blog about how I was mad and confused about all that happened.
I failed myself this week.
It just didn't work at one of my jobs.
Which hurts a lot because I have never been let go.
I've always quit or the job just ended because it was only for a few months.
As we know i've always been hard to love and I try way too hard.
Well that's what happened.
I just didn't quite fit.
And it caught me off guard because I thought I was safe.
I thought I was set.
Not the case.
There were tears involved and emotions ran high and dad may have accidentally called my manager.
I love that he did that.
He was protecting me.
Buts its been a week and i've picked myself up from the ashes.
Onward and upward to another job.
Thanks to my former coworkers.
You guys were the best.
I think what drives me crazy is that I don't really know the reason why.
But sometimes you don't have closure.
So I will just have to deal with that.
Tomorrow is another day.
Monday, July 13, 2015
5 years later
BOYS ARE TROUBLE AND STAY AWAY!
Just don't go there if you don't have to.
All through high school they will not know what they want, will make more drama than they are worth and will make you sad for no real reason.
And mom and dad actually know best about relationships
Do not get yourself so hyped about being a section leader. Because you will ruin your entire senior season because you were too proud. Learn your music and act as an example.
Owen will always be mean about relationships and how you can't seem to hold onto them very well. He may surprise you with something nice every once in a while but honestly don't take it all to heart.
There is nothing wrong with you, you just have high standards and if something wasn't difficult to love it wouldn't be worth it.
So girl you are totally worth it.
Do not question your worth as a person and whether or not you deserve to be loved.
BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY DO!
Stop competing with Tia and Kelsey for bassoon chairs. Just be happy that you are finally in wind ensemble.
You do not have to follow in Owen's footsteps to be successful.
Right about now exactly 5 years ago you are getting your first kiss ever. I know you are a late bloomer and you will do everything after everyone else. I know everyone got kissed years before you but just know, its a pretty good kiss and an embarrassing story to tell friends later on. Just please don't mix up when you accidentally text Mr. Downing that there was tongue and you meant to send that to Brynna. And when rumors start building about it, do not take it personally. You were there, you know the facts. Boys are dumb and mean.
So really just don't kiss mean boys.
And don't believe that he would want to move to Arvada.
Or that you could make long distance work at 16. 5 years old.
Just stop thinking that guy will work out. He will be the first guy to use you and then leave you.
You have still never been in love at 21.5 years old.
I know, its sad.
You are still going to be a hot crying mess through all these years, but you get tougher and tougher.
Eventually you will be able to hold your head higher.
You will find that being alone gives your more confidence than being in a relationship.
Mom is going to get sick, and it will change your life for the better.
That year will be one of the hardest of your life. Keep your head up. She will be just fine and you guys will come out stronger.
When you meet Bri in comp 350, know she loves hard and she is your friend for some odd reason. Hug her more because she will be in your life one minute and then gone the next and you will sometimes still not fully believe it.
You are going to pick a tiny liberal arts college 6 hours away from home because the people were nicest to you there. It's ok that you are the odd one out amongst the hippies. Its ok that you are preppy McPrepperson but remember you need to make friends too.
Stop shutting yourself off from all the other people in your dorm.Go out and make friends with the hippies.
There are going to be plenty of days you don't like yourself, where you can't do anything right and feel like the world is coming down.
Take a deep breathe. This is life. You can make it through it.
You are going to give 110% a lot. And you are not going to get many things that give back 110%.
So you are going to get your heart broken.
And you are not always going to succeed.
And you are going to cry a lot.
But there will be times when it pays off. Embrace those times and the hurdle you have overcome.
Like getting that editor position or returning as an orientation leader instead of just logistics or getting one of your films in a film festival.
Celebrate that you finally got something to work out.
Bask in the light because it does not come around very often so soak it all in.
You are going to make wishes a lot on 11:11 because you feel that maybe somewhere in the universe someone is listening and collecting all of them and maybe someday just maybe you'll finally get something.
You are going to have to figure out and sort those that have an agenda and those that do not. There will always be people the use and abuse your sweet heart, you just need to figure out who is worth the hurt.
Do not date on the editorial staff. Just stop it now.
If you can, maybe don't get your first serious relationship in the first week of college and say "I love you" in the first week. Maybe I don't know, try just being yourself in college. Making friends and instead of just attaching yourself to the first soul to come along to partially care about your situation.
You are always going to fall for the wrong guys and get hurt. Just know that you have terrible timing and still do not know what you want. Relax a bit and focus on yourself.
You are going to be let go from the very first job you actually enjoyed exactly 5 years after you kissed that pretty Spanish boy. And its going to hurt.
If a boy tries to kiss you and you don't feel like kissing him then don't kiss him. You don't need to bite the bullet. If he was worth your time he would respect that you didnt feel safe and he was drunk.
Also make sure you always have friends around that will save you from creepy, handsy men.
Know that Dad will always know the right thing to say when your heart hurts.
Know that Mom will always know the right thing to do for you when you are broken.
Genuine compliments do not come by very often. Take them in and hold onto them.
Always be grateful for what you have. The job you have, the school you are able to go to, the food on the table, the people that are friends with you and the family that loves you.
You will find that you want to go into journalism in Michelle Bonanos action research class.
You will then find out that you actually love it more than life itself in Leslie Blood's class.
You will find that The Indy is your second family.
You are going to get hurt and knocked down a lot. You are also going to get back up and get stronger.
Someday's you will wonder why you were put on this earth if life was going to hurt this much.
Someday's you will hate your scars because they remind you of all the things you don't know for certain in this life.
You still havent figured out men even at this age. And now you are bethrothed to Mitchell McLaughlan. So by the eve of your 30th birthday if you are not engaged or married, you will marry Mitch on that next new years eve.
Congrats.
There will be plenty of days you don't like what you see in the mirror.
But also days when you look and actually like what you see.
You still hate running at this age.
Try to find men that like you for your mind more than your body. Because you will become a pretty young lady after you get out of your insanely long awkward stage.
Right now you have a good about 6 months before you will finally get out of it. Be patient.
Stop pining over that one guy. He will never see you how you see him.
Or at least 5 years later he still sees you as a friend,
You are going to spend nearly your first two years that you are in college, attached to the hip of a man that was first nice to you in college and cared for what was happening with mom. It was a fine relationship but when you feel he has bigger priorities like playing games instead of going to class, you might want to snip that flower right then and there.
You will shoot for the stars and hardly make it, but in the end, your persistence builds character. And damn girl, you never give up.
You still love naps, chocolate and music.
You love writing and journalism now and your dream job is to work for Darling Magazine.
All in all, you turn out all right kid.
Just maybe don't kiss the boy tonight
Just don't go there if you don't have to.
All through high school they will not know what they want, will make more drama than they are worth and will make you sad for no real reason.
And mom and dad actually know best about relationships
Do not get yourself so hyped about being a section leader. Because you will ruin your entire senior season because you were too proud. Learn your music and act as an example.
Owen will always be mean about relationships and how you can't seem to hold onto them very well. He may surprise you with something nice every once in a while but honestly don't take it all to heart.
There is nothing wrong with you, you just have high standards and if something wasn't difficult to love it wouldn't be worth it.
So girl you are totally worth it.
Do not question your worth as a person and whether or not you deserve to be loved.
BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY DO!
Stop competing with Tia and Kelsey for bassoon chairs. Just be happy that you are finally in wind ensemble.
You do not have to follow in Owen's footsteps to be successful.
Right about now exactly 5 years ago you are getting your first kiss ever. I know you are a late bloomer and you will do everything after everyone else. I know everyone got kissed years before you but just know, its a pretty good kiss and an embarrassing story to tell friends later on. Just please don't mix up when you accidentally text Mr. Downing that there was tongue and you meant to send that to Brynna. And when rumors start building about it, do not take it personally. You were there, you know the facts. Boys are dumb and mean.
So really just don't kiss mean boys.
And don't believe that he would want to move to Arvada.
Or that you could make long distance work at 16. 5 years old.
Just stop thinking that guy will work out. He will be the first guy to use you and then leave you.
You have still never been in love at 21.5 years old.
I know, its sad.
You are still going to be a hot crying mess through all these years, but you get tougher and tougher.
Eventually you will be able to hold your head higher.
You will find that being alone gives your more confidence than being in a relationship.
Mom is going to get sick, and it will change your life for the better.
That year will be one of the hardest of your life. Keep your head up. She will be just fine and you guys will come out stronger.
When you meet Bri in comp 350, know she loves hard and she is your friend for some odd reason. Hug her more because she will be in your life one minute and then gone the next and you will sometimes still not fully believe it.
You are going to pick a tiny liberal arts college 6 hours away from home because the people were nicest to you there. It's ok that you are the odd one out amongst the hippies. Its ok that you are preppy McPrepperson but remember you need to make friends too.
Stop shutting yourself off from all the other people in your dorm.Go out and make friends with the hippies.
There are going to be plenty of days you don't like yourself, where you can't do anything right and feel like the world is coming down.
Take a deep breathe. This is life. You can make it through it.
You are going to give 110% a lot. And you are not going to get many things that give back 110%.
So you are going to get your heart broken.
And you are not always going to succeed.
And you are going to cry a lot.
But there will be times when it pays off. Embrace those times and the hurdle you have overcome.
Like getting that editor position or returning as an orientation leader instead of just logistics or getting one of your films in a film festival.
Celebrate that you finally got something to work out.
Bask in the light because it does not come around very often so soak it all in.
You are going to make wishes a lot on 11:11 because you feel that maybe somewhere in the universe someone is listening and collecting all of them and maybe someday just maybe you'll finally get something.
You are going to have to figure out and sort those that have an agenda and those that do not. There will always be people the use and abuse your sweet heart, you just need to figure out who is worth the hurt.
Do not date on the editorial staff. Just stop it now.
If you can, maybe don't get your first serious relationship in the first week of college and say "I love you" in the first week. Maybe I don't know, try just being yourself in college. Making friends and instead of just attaching yourself to the first soul to come along to partially care about your situation.
You are always going to fall for the wrong guys and get hurt. Just know that you have terrible timing and still do not know what you want. Relax a bit and focus on yourself.
You are going to be let go from the very first job you actually enjoyed exactly 5 years after you kissed that pretty Spanish boy. And its going to hurt.
If a boy tries to kiss you and you don't feel like kissing him then don't kiss him. You don't need to bite the bullet. If he was worth your time he would respect that you didnt feel safe and he was drunk.
Also make sure you always have friends around that will save you from creepy, handsy men.
Know that Dad will always know the right thing to say when your heart hurts.
Know that Mom will always know the right thing to do for you when you are broken.
Genuine compliments do not come by very often. Take them in and hold onto them.
Always be grateful for what you have. The job you have, the school you are able to go to, the food on the table, the people that are friends with you and the family that loves you.
You will find that you want to go into journalism in Michelle Bonanos action research class.
You will then find out that you actually love it more than life itself in Leslie Blood's class.
You will find that The Indy is your second family.
You are going to get hurt and knocked down a lot. You are also going to get back up and get stronger.
Someday's you will wonder why you were put on this earth if life was going to hurt this much.
Someday's you will hate your scars because they remind you of all the things you don't know for certain in this life.
You still havent figured out men even at this age. And now you are bethrothed to Mitchell McLaughlan. So by the eve of your 30th birthday if you are not engaged or married, you will marry Mitch on that next new years eve.
Congrats.
There will be plenty of days you don't like what you see in the mirror.
But also days when you look and actually like what you see.
You still hate running at this age.
Try to find men that like you for your mind more than your body. Because you will become a pretty young lady after you get out of your insanely long awkward stage.
Right now you have a good about 6 months before you will finally get out of it. Be patient.
Stop pining over that one guy. He will never see you how you see him.
Or at least 5 years later he still sees you as a friend,
You are going to spend nearly your first two years that you are in college, attached to the hip of a man that was first nice to you in college and cared for what was happening with mom. It was a fine relationship but when you feel he has bigger priorities like playing games instead of going to class, you might want to snip that flower right then and there.
You will shoot for the stars and hardly make it, but in the end, your persistence builds character. And damn girl, you never give up.
You still love naps, chocolate and music.
You love writing and journalism now and your dream job is to work for Darling Magazine.
All in all, you turn out all right kid.
Just maybe don't kiss the boy tonight
AM I BLONDE?!?
Existential crisis going on right here.
I have always identified as brunette.
My father has black hair.
My mother has blonde.
Hense I am a brunette.
That is how genetics works.
When I was born I had thick black hair everywhere.
Like a small monkey child.
It was not cute.
That situation has changed, thank the holy baby Jesus.
I may not be good at too many things but I have damn good hair.
I grew it myself.
But overtime my hair has lightened.
It has tinges of blonde and some lights it looks slightly red.
Welcome to my world of weirdness and how i'm a crazy combination of lots of things.
This is me.
But recently people have been referring to me as a blonde.
Which I find extremely surprising.
Its light brown or bronde I guess is the new term.
Blake Lively is apparently now a bronde and we are the same height so that means I must be doing something right.
I mean Blake Lively is like the prettiest creature to walk this planet.. so there!
Does this mean I can pass as both a Marilyn and a Jacqueline?
Can I have fun and be taken seriously?
Welcome to the world of a bronde!
I have always identified as brunette.
My father has black hair.
My mother has blonde.
Hense I am a brunette.
That is how genetics works.
When I was born I had thick black hair everywhere.
Like a small monkey child.
It was not cute.
That situation has changed, thank the holy baby Jesus.
I may not be good at too many things but I have damn good hair.
I grew it myself.
But overtime my hair has lightened.
It has tinges of blonde and some lights it looks slightly red.
Welcome to my world of weirdness and how i'm a crazy combination of lots of things.
This is me.
But recently people have been referring to me as a blonde.
Which I find extremely surprising.
Its light brown or bronde I guess is the new term.
Blake Lively is apparently now a bronde and we are the same height so that means I must be doing something right.
I mean Blake Lively is like the prettiest creature to walk this planet.. so there!
Does this mean I can pass as both a Marilyn and a Jacqueline?
Can I have fun and be taken seriously?
Welcome to the world of a bronde!
Saturday, July 11, 2015
I'm running, I'm in a park and i'm running
I'M IN A PARK AND I'M RUNNING!!
Hey! There's no running in the park!
YES THERE IS!
No, there's not!
Sorry guys but if you've ever seen the movie Elf you know that one part where hes in the "north pole" and awkwardly starts singing.
Yeah that went through my head but I replaced singing with running and store with park.
I thought it was funny.
But yes, my somewhat not surprising fact that my butt was growing is becoming not as interesting because this girl just started to do itsy bitsy workouts.
As in a half hour-ish, in the morning.
And today I actually went on a run.
Wait, what?!?
An hour run.
In public.
On a Saturday night.
AFTER WORKING FOR 7 HOURS.
I just felt like there was some pent up tension I needed to get out so I went and ran it off.
Which pretty much meant little sprints and jog for about 1-2 minutes.
Just long enough to get out of sight of the walkers that I passed before I slowed and heavily breathed for the next 5 or so minutes before I attempted another distance.
Plus if you haven't seen me yet, I somehow ran out of contacts so my only source of vision is my glasses and since I really didn't want to run with my glasses on, I didn't.
Which some of the paths along the river trail have big cracks and if caught wrong could roll a heel.
But i'm not so blind that I didn't totally miss them so I was OK.
But yes I am currently blind with out my glasses on so I think it was actually better because I couldn't see people as well and in turn I didn't feel as judged for running and being like a fat kid in gym class.
But i'm getting there slowly but surely.
I do this mini work out in the morning and I've already noticed I have a longer endurance.
My legs and butt look amazing.
Still working on the abs but everything takes time.
But yes, i'm being active.
Because right now I have work and home and being active.
So I want to feel more confident about my body and myself in general so i'm working out to feel like I have a life besides sitting on the couch and watching mad men all the time.
Be proud dad, your little girl actually got up and was active on her own initiative.
I know, its crazy.
Hey! There's no running in the park!
YES THERE IS!
No, there's not!
Sorry guys but if you've ever seen the movie Elf you know that one part where hes in the "north pole" and awkwardly starts singing.
Yeah that went through my head but I replaced singing with running and store with park.
I thought it was funny.
But yes, my somewhat not surprising fact that my butt was growing is becoming not as interesting because this girl just started to do itsy bitsy workouts.
As in a half hour-ish, in the morning.
And today I actually went on a run.
Wait, what?!?
An hour run.
In public.
On a Saturday night.
AFTER WORKING FOR 7 HOURS.
I just felt like there was some pent up tension I needed to get out so I went and ran it off.
Which pretty much meant little sprints and jog for about 1-2 minutes.
Just long enough to get out of sight of the walkers that I passed before I slowed and heavily breathed for the next 5 or so minutes before I attempted another distance.
Plus if you haven't seen me yet, I somehow ran out of contacts so my only source of vision is my glasses and since I really didn't want to run with my glasses on, I didn't.
Which some of the paths along the river trail have big cracks and if caught wrong could roll a heel.
But i'm not so blind that I didn't totally miss them so I was OK.
But yes I am currently blind with out my glasses on so I think it was actually better because I couldn't see people as well and in turn I didn't feel as judged for running and being like a fat kid in gym class.
But i'm getting there slowly but surely.
I do this mini work out in the morning and I've already noticed I have a longer endurance.
My legs and butt look amazing.
Still working on the abs but everything takes time.
But yes, i'm being active.
Because right now I have work and home and being active.
So I want to feel more confident about my body and myself in general so i'm working out to feel like I have a life besides sitting on the couch and watching mad men all the time.
Be proud dad, your little girl actually got up and was active on her own initiative.
I know, its crazy.
That is just me
Probably one of the most recent times that I can remember my brother Owen being genuinely nice to me and saying something positive about my lack of relationship and how I have trouble with men, happened this past Christmas eve night.
It had been a long day, and he had hit a nerve with me.
Joking about how I was going to end up alone.
And I was just done with it all.
I'd been single for about 5 months and this would be my first Christmas single in 2 years and both siblings were in serious relationships.
I felt alone and like something was wrong with me.
But he said something that hit me.
He said "It's not like you are undesirable, you just do things your own way. You've always taken your own path."
I've always been this way.
I've never taken the easy road.
I have always been hard to love.
I have never been easy.
Since birth, I have never been easy.
I have an 11 inch scar on my back to prove that.
I'm fine, but it just goes to show, I've never been easy, so why expect anything else when it comes to relationships and pretty much everything in my life.
I've had to fight.
I am not your cookie cutter, cut and dry female.
I am complicated as hell.
And I overthink pretty much everything in my life.
I am just different.
I don't really follow the standard rules for flirting and quite frankly I never really have.
I have terrible timing and I come on too strong.
That is just me.
I've always learned differently.
This is partly why I think I might have a slight learning disability because I learn well in multiple ways and not just in one way.
So I had to learn in different ways because the conventional way didn't always work for me.
I took a learning strengths test about a year ago and it calculated out what type of learner I am
I am 37% visual
33% kinesthetic
and 30% auditory.
Most people are majorly one thing.
I'm pretty equally all three.
That is not normal.
And that is just me.
So this is me.
Undefinable.
Unpredictable.
And currently i'm fine with it all.
This is who I am.
It had been a long day, and he had hit a nerve with me.
Joking about how I was going to end up alone.
And I was just done with it all.
I'd been single for about 5 months and this would be my first Christmas single in 2 years and both siblings were in serious relationships.
I felt alone and like something was wrong with me.
But he said something that hit me.
He said "It's not like you are undesirable, you just do things your own way. You've always taken your own path."
I've always been this way.
I've never taken the easy road.
I have always been hard to love.
I have never been easy.
Since birth, I have never been easy.
I have an 11 inch scar on my back to prove that.
I'm fine, but it just goes to show, I've never been easy, so why expect anything else when it comes to relationships and pretty much everything in my life.
I've had to fight.
I am not your cookie cutter, cut and dry female.
I am complicated as hell.
And I overthink pretty much everything in my life.
I am just different.
I don't really follow the standard rules for flirting and quite frankly I never really have.
I have terrible timing and I come on too strong.
That is just me.
I've always learned differently.
This is partly why I think I might have a slight learning disability because I learn well in multiple ways and not just in one way.
So I had to learn in different ways because the conventional way didn't always work for me.
I took a learning strengths test about a year ago and it calculated out what type of learner I am
I am 37% visual
33% kinesthetic
and 30% auditory.
Most people are majorly one thing.
I'm pretty equally all three.
That is not normal.
And that is just me.
So this is me.
Undefinable.
Unpredictable.
And currently i'm fine with it all.
This is who I am.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Babe.
I like the word babe.
Not this whole bae crap that has come about.
Whatever happened to actual English?
Not shortening everything so you sound stupid.
Like spelling everything out.
Sorry, English major rants.
If a man ever calls me "bae" he is out.
Nope nope and a nope.
Babe is good
Bae is bad.
Just make the effort and do not cut out that second b.
This all came out today because shocker, something happened at work.
This was however at There's No Place Like Home.
All of my favorite things happen there honestly.
Maybe its because the boys and I are buds and the ladies love me.
And I get the funniest and most genuine compliments there.
I can have fun.
So here we have another moment of Matt randomly complimenting me.
It always seems to happen whenever i'm washing my hands or putting on lipstick in the back mirror.
No one else around which is nice because i'm probably the most awkward person to compliment.
Because most of the time when I get complimented its not genuine and people usually have an agenda.
Matt however does not.
Well you know how a few days ago, he randomly told me that I have a strong presence?
Yep, overwhelmed me again with a compliment.
Now as a disclaimer, i'm not looking so hot right now.
Some days I just cant find exactly what I want to wear.
Some days my skin decides today is the day its going to look like crap and no ammount of makeup can cover all the imperfections.
Some days certain events just decide to happen, which make all females feel like crap that particular day.
And some days your hair just decides today is the day its going to be frizzy and weird.
This was today.
So i'm not looking or feeling too hot.
And as i'm putting on a bright pink lip to make myself feel pretty even though I don't really know how that'll help.
I'm leaning into the sink, and I've just talked to Matt like 2 minutes before hand.
He comes back in, I see him in the mirror looking at me for a second, and then he says out of the blue, "Julia, you are a babe. Don't you forget it or let anyone let you think otherwise"
This triggers a Julia reaction that is very similar to a Julia 6 years ago.
Awkward and weird.
I literally start puffing and snorting.
It just came so out of left field.
And I guess I would have been able to believe it a little bit better if I had actually had something go right with my appearance today.
But eventually I do accept it and say thank you.
I'm getting slowly better at taking compliments actually.
But getting called a babe.
Thats something more than just beautiful or sexy.
Its like you are the whole package of wonderful.
So if you ever want to impress a girl, gentlemen take note, be sincere and call her a babe.
Not a freaking bae.
That is dumb and I will hit you upside the head if you ever do that!
Not this whole bae crap that has come about.
Whatever happened to actual English?
Not shortening everything so you sound stupid.
Like spelling everything out.
Sorry, English major rants.
If a man ever calls me "bae" he is out.
Nope nope and a nope.
Babe is good
Bae is bad.
Just make the effort and do not cut out that second b.
This all came out today because shocker, something happened at work.
This was however at There's No Place Like Home.
All of my favorite things happen there honestly.
Maybe its because the boys and I are buds and the ladies love me.
And I get the funniest and most genuine compliments there.
I can have fun.
So here we have another moment of Matt randomly complimenting me.
It always seems to happen whenever i'm washing my hands or putting on lipstick in the back mirror.
No one else around which is nice because i'm probably the most awkward person to compliment.
Because most of the time when I get complimented its not genuine and people usually have an agenda.
Matt however does not.
Well you know how a few days ago, he randomly told me that I have a strong presence?
Yep, overwhelmed me again with a compliment.
Now as a disclaimer, i'm not looking so hot right now.
Some days I just cant find exactly what I want to wear.
Some days my skin decides today is the day its going to look like crap and no ammount of makeup can cover all the imperfections.
Some days certain events just decide to happen, which make all females feel like crap that particular day.
And some days your hair just decides today is the day its going to be frizzy and weird.
This was today.
So i'm not looking or feeling too hot.
And as i'm putting on a bright pink lip to make myself feel pretty even though I don't really know how that'll help.
I'm leaning into the sink, and I've just talked to Matt like 2 minutes before hand.
He comes back in, I see him in the mirror looking at me for a second, and then he says out of the blue, "Julia, you are a babe. Don't you forget it or let anyone let you think otherwise"
This triggers a Julia reaction that is very similar to a Julia 6 years ago.
Awkward and weird.
I literally start puffing and snorting.
It just came so out of left field.
And I guess I would have been able to believe it a little bit better if I had actually had something go right with my appearance today.
But eventually I do accept it and say thank you.
I'm getting slowly better at taking compliments actually.
But getting called a babe.
Thats something more than just beautiful or sexy.
Its like you are the whole package of wonderful.
So if you ever want to impress a girl, gentlemen take note, be sincere and call her a babe.
Not a freaking bae.
That is dumb and I will hit you upside the head if you ever do that!
Cleaning fiend
So living alone has some perks and some down sides.
Lots of downsides because I hate being alone.
Little noises like the printer suddenly turning on scare the shit out of me.
Crazy neighbors.
I'm boring.
I sleep on the couch.
And most importantly its hard for me to clean up after myself because i'm the only one that lives here right now.
So things pile up.
And its bad.
But i'm working through it.
Last night I deep cleaned my room so now I can actually see my floor and when I do my morning mini work out I don't have to move a literal mountain of laundry.
But i'm trying to adult so i'm taking this all in bite size pieces.
So room first.
I've done the kitchen.
Tomorrow is bathroom and living room.
I really want to obtain that level of adult where you don't have to panic when people come over because everything is already clean.
Maintenance.
Dad, i'm trying to embody you and your OCD cleaning techniques.
Lets hope I keep this up so it becomes a habit and then i'll be the best roommate ever.
Adulting. Slowly improving at it, one day at a time.
Lots of downsides because I hate being alone.
Little noises like the printer suddenly turning on scare the shit out of me.
Crazy neighbors.
I'm boring.
I sleep on the couch.
And most importantly its hard for me to clean up after myself because i'm the only one that lives here right now.
So things pile up.
And its bad.
But i'm working through it.
Last night I deep cleaned my room so now I can actually see my floor and when I do my morning mini work out I don't have to move a literal mountain of laundry.
But i'm trying to adult so i'm taking this all in bite size pieces.
So room first.
I've done the kitchen.
Tomorrow is bathroom and living room.
I really want to obtain that level of adult where you don't have to panic when people come over because everything is already clean.
Maintenance.
Dad, i'm trying to embody you and your OCD cleaning techniques.
Lets hope I keep this up so it becomes a habit and then i'll be the best roommate ever.
Adulting. Slowly improving at it, one day at a time.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Raise your own babies
Just so we are all clear, I generally like kids.
But I also know that right now I do not want kids at this time.
I do not have my life together enough.
And quite frankly I really do not have the patience for them.
Power to you if you have kids, have had kids, are having kids or plan to have kids in the near future.
You obviously know something I don't know about kids.
Because seeing as how my current relationship status is oh you know, single and free as a bird.
I do not plan to have kids for quite some time.
I mean I cant even keep herbs alive. Do you really think I can keep a pet much less a human being alive.
Nope.
I mean some day I think I want kids.
With the right person.
This all came about because I saw the crazy lady from the other day and she had a legitimate horde of small children.
Her grandchildren...
She cant be 5 or more years older than my mom which scared me a lot..
Which makes her kids around my age...
Well the horde ran by and started banging on the door of one of my neighbors.
Just pounding away.
And I thought to myself, I'm really glad I don't have kids.
Now I know i'm not a parent and I'm not claiming to know anything about rearing children,
But at that moment I was glad to be single.
Theres small children all around where I live and sometimes they can be extremely noisy and I've heard this one little girl cry and cry for quite some time.
These kids are just a nuisance.
Some kids and I work really well, but the ones that live around me, not so much.
Kids and I just don't work right now.
I mean I love my little cousins.
Isaac and little Benjamin are wonderful and I love hanging out with them.
But I could not imagine being my age and having the patience for children and all their needs and problems.
So I will wait, find the right man to raise children with and fall in love, and get married, and then have kids.
So Mom you are going to have to wait a while seeing how my luck with men is going i'll probably find him around 35.
So I have 14 years to figure out my kinks.
But I also know that right now I do not want kids at this time.
I do not have my life together enough.
And quite frankly I really do not have the patience for them.
Power to you if you have kids, have had kids, are having kids or plan to have kids in the near future.
You obviously know something I don't know about kids.
Because seeing as how my current relationship status is oh you know, single and free as a bird.
I do not plan to have kids for quite some time.
I mean I cant even keep herbs alive. Do you really think I can keep a pet much less a human being alive.
Nope.
I mean some day I think I want kids.
With the right person.
This all came about because I saw the crazy lady from the other day and she had a legitimate horde of small children.
Her grandchildren...
She cant be 5 or more years older than my mom which scared me a lot..
Which makes her kids around my age...
Well the horde ran by and started banging on the door of one of my neighbors.
Just pounding away.
And I thought to myself, I'm really glad I don't have kids.
Now I know i'm not a parent and I'm not claiming to know anything about rearing children,
But at that moment I was glad to be single.
Theres small children all around where I live and sometimes they can be extremely noisy and I've heard this one little girl cry and cry for quite some time.
These kids are just a nuisance.
Some kids and I work really well, but the ones that live around me, not so much.
Kids and I just don't work right now.
I mean I love my little cousins.
Isaac and little Benjamin are wonderful and I love hanging out with them.
But I could not imagine being my age and having the patience for children and all their needs and problems.
So I will wait, find the right man to raise children with and fall in love, and get married, and then have kids.
So Mom you are going to have to wait a while seeing how my luck with men is going i'll probably find him around 35.
So I have 14 years to figure out my kinks.
Sometimes I just want to eat cookies, paint my nails and feel like a fat kid
This happens sometimes.
Turns out Allie was in the same boredom boat as I was Monday night so get this, we hung out, AGAIN!
Twice in one week! Its a miracle!
Actually we just both realized how much we like girl time and the 4th rekindled that.
So i'm being a lazy butt and she texts me to ask if i'm doing anything.
Nope nope and a nope.
So we decide to have a girls night.
Which meant a trip to the store to stock up on the essentials.
Cookies and chips.
Cream filled cookies, and ones that have pieces of reeses on them.
So not your average fattening cookies but the above average fattening cookies.
We go hard or we go home.
Yeah those ones...
Head back to her place and gorge ourselves whilst trying to make our nails pretty.
This is just how we roll.
Sometimes we embrace multiple areas of need.
The need to eat and feed our inner fat kid.
We all have that. Do not deny it.
And our need to feel pretty.
And after a long day at work there is nothing better than eating all the sugar and painting your nails bright pink to feel like a gorgeous female again.
Thanks girl, I needed that.
Turns out Allie was in the same boredom boat as I was Monday night so get this, we hung out, AGAIN!
Twice in one week! Its a miracle!
Actually we just both realized how much we like girl time and the 4th rekindled that.
So i'm being a lazy butt and she texts me to ask if i'm doing anything.
Nope nope and a nope.
So we decide to have a girls night.
Which meant a trip to the store to stock up on the essentials.
Cookies and chips.
Cream filled cookies, and ones that have pieces of reeses on them.
So not your average fattening cookies but the above average fattening cookies.
We go hard or we go home.
Yeah those ones...
Head back to her place and gorge ourselves whilst trying to make our nails pretty.
This is just how we roll.
Sometimes we embrace multiple areas of need.
The need to eat and feed our inner fat kid.
We all have that. Do not deny it.
And our need to feel pretty.
And after a long day at work there is nothing better than eating all the sugar and painting your nails bright pink to feel like a gorgeous female again.
Thanks girl, I needed that.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Well that was odd...
So I over analyze everything.
It just happens without me even knowing.
Well Sunday was a pretty normal day.
Came into work, Matt got me tea, with out me even asking.
Seriously I have the best coworkers.
But when someone does something that I deem odd, it doesn't sit well.
Because I am always tweaking my actions.
This one lady came in, and had some errands to run and trusted us enough to hold onto her small bag of groceries whilst she did them.
Would you do that?
Probably not.
I like to not have to really depend on people so I will do everything I can all myself.
But she just trusted us to not eat her triscuits.
And then later that day after I came back from watching the womens world cup soccer game with some coworkers after work and I had accidentally left my lights on.
I've been home probably 20-30 minutes and I get a knock.
Its yet again another crazy eyed neighbor.
What is the deal with my complex and having crazy people??
Well she nicely asks if I have a red car, which I do.
And that i've left my lights on so I should go turn those off.
Just as i'm turning away to get my keys and making idle chatter she asks if I have wifi.
Which I do.
Now i've learned from before about letting strangers in so I didn't let her in Mom.
And she asks if she can have my password so she can get on the internet.
Now there are plenty of places in Durango you can get free wifi.
So I lie that I don't know the password and I don't know where I left it.
Which is half true.
I feel bad about lying but really would you just randomly ask a stranger to use their personal wifi when you've never met them before.
I certainly wouldn't be that ballsy.
I do know where it is, I do not know it by heart however.
She goes away but i'm just stuck thinking about this.
Like I always try to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.
I try to be generous and forgiving.
But sometimes there are lines.
Like leaving your stuff with strangers.
Or asking for a random neighbors wifi password.
I feel bad about saying no to that one lady, but what if we had another similar situation like with that one lady I let in.
Nope i'm good.
Am I crazy for acting this way or is it totally rational?
It just happens without me even knowing.
Well Sunday was a pretty normal day.
Came into work, Matt got me tea, with out me even asking.
Seriously I have the best coworkers.
But when someone does something that I deem odd, it doesn't sit well.
Because I am always tweaking my actions.
This one lady came in, and had some errands to run and trusted us enough to hold onto her small bag of groceries whilst she did them.
Would you do that?
Probably not.
I like to not have to really depend on people so I will do everything I can all myself.
But she just trusted us to not eat her triscuits.
And then later that day after I came back from watching the womens world cup soccer game with some coworkers after work and I had accidentally left my lights on.
I've been home probably 20-30 minutes and I get a knock.
Its yet again another crazy eyed neighbor.
What is the deal with my complex and having crazy people??
Well she nicely asks if I have a red car, which I do.
And that i've left my lights on so I should go turn those off.
Just as i'm turning away to get my keys and making idle chatter she asks if I have wifi.
Which I do.
Now i've learned from before about letting strangers in so I didn't let her in Mom.
And she asks if she can have my password so she can get on the internet.
Now there are plenty of places in Durango you can get free wifi.
So I lie that I don't know the password and I don't know where I left it.
Which is half true.
I feel bad about lying but really would you just randomly ask a stranger to use their personal wifi when you've never met them before.
I certainly wouldn't be that ballsy.
I do know where it is, I do not know it by heart however.
She goes away but i'm just stuck thinking about this.
Like I always try to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.
I try to be generous and forgiving.
But sometimes there are lines.
Like leaving your stuff with strangers.
Or asking for a random neighbors wifi password.
I feel bad about saying no to that one lady, but what if we had another similar situation like with that one lady I let in.
Nope i'm good.
Am I crazy for acting this way or is it totally rational?
White shorts, a red lip and battleship
I love a good classic red lip.
Like Taylor Swift.
And I hadn't pulled out my red lipstick for a while so this was the perfect occasion.
God it felt so good to slather on the burts bees and then carefully draw on my red lips.
There is something about a red lip.
Like I could have walked up to that one guy that asked me a few weeks ago why a 9 was going out with a 3 for so long and tell him off for being a jerk.
Oh daring red lips.
Well good old red, white and blue for this girl.
White shorts.
Cute blue tank.
And a red lip and I was golden.
Headed out for the evening.
Not planning to drink at all.
All my friends were in Silverton and I was planning to work but then it was slow and I didn't have to come in.
Instead I met up with my good friend Allie.
Also sporting a red lip.
We watched the parade together.
Oogled some men.
Went to the street dance for a bit but then it got rained out so we headed to her dads house with our own bags of McDonalds in hand.
Because inside we are both fat kids in gym class even though both of us are healthy women.
Neither of us are fat, we are healthy.
So after hemming and hawing about what to do we decide on battleship. Which I haven't played in literally 10 years.
Best game ever.
And Allie is oddly good at it.
We listened to country music, and I slyly let her win the second game because the fireworks were starting and she had already sunk 4 of my ships.
We head out and watch the Durango version of a fireworks show.
Short and sweet.
Had some splendor.
But being a Denver girl i'm used to longer shows and multiple ones.
Going to the City and County building on the 3rd and listening to the CSO play.
Then watching the Arvada fireworks from the hill of the garden plot on the 4th.
But this was good.
A relaxed evening with a great friend.
No crazy morning after stories to tell.
I was in bed at 10:30.
And that was perfect for me.
So my first legal 4th was not a crazy drunken night.
Instead I gossiped and played battle ship.
That works for me :)
Like Taylor Swift.
And I hadn't pulled out my red lipstick for a while so this was the perfect occasion.
God it felt so good to slather on the burts bees and then carefully draw on my red lips.
There is something about a red lip.
Like I could have walked up to that one guy that asked me a few weeks ago why a 9 was going out with a 3 for so long and tell him off for being a jerk.
Oh daring red lips.
Well good old red, white and blue for this girl.
White shorts.
Cute blue tank.
And a red lip and I was golden.
Headed out for the evening.
Not planning to drink at all.
All my friends were in Silverton and I was planning to work but then it was slow and I didn't have to come in.
Instead I met up with my good friend Allie.
Also sporting a red lip.
We watched the parade together.
Oogled some men.
Went to the street dance for a bit but then it got rained out so we headed to her dads house with our own bags of McDonalds in hand.
Because inside we are both fat kids in gym class even though both of us are healthy women.
Neither of us are fat, we are healthy.
So after hemming and hawing about what to do we decide on battleship. Which I haven't played in literally 10 years.
Best game ever.
And Allie is oddly good at it.
We listened to country music, and I slyly let her win the second game because the fireworks were starting and she had already sunk 4 of my ships.
We head out and watch the Durango version of a fireworks show.
Short and sweet.
Had some splendor.
But being a Denver girl i'm used to longer shows and multiple ones.
Going to the City and County building on the 3rd and listening to the CSO play.
Then watching the Arvada fireworks from the hill of the garden plot on the 4th.
But this was good.
A relaxed evening with a great friend.
No crazy morning after stories to tell.
I was in bed at 10:30.
And that was perfect for me.
So my first legal 4th was not a crazy drunken night.
Instead I gossiped and played battle ship.
That works for me :)
Writers block.
A language lover's enemy.
And a blogger''s enemy too.
Especially when you daily blog like I do.
Which is sometimes a good idea because i'm a hot mess and its good to get this all out and you guys for some odd reason like to read this.
Crazy people.
Well here it goes.
I'm getting through this.
Forcing my way.
Because I have a few days to catch up on .
And its driving me crazy that I cant think of anything.
So my mind works in an ebb and flow.
The words are either easy or not.
And when I get stuck I get really stuck.
Plus i didn't do anything crazy on July 3rd because I knew I had to work the next day.
BUT I DID GET PAID FOR THE FIRST TIME FROM THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME WHICH WAS SUPER EXCITING.
Money is good.
So I guess that happened.
Sorry guys this isn't that interesting...
Happens to the best of us.
And a blogger''s enemy too.
Especially when you daily blog like I do.
Which is sometimes a good idea because i'm a hot mess and its good to get this all out and you guys for some odd reason like to read this.
Crazy people.
Well here it goes.
I'm getting through this.
Forcing my way.
Because I have a few days to catch up on .
And its driving me crazy that I cant think of anything.
So my mind works in an ebb and flow.
The words are either easy or not.
And when I get stuck I get really stuck.
Plus i didn't do anything crazy on July 3rd because I knew I had to work the next day.
BUT I DID GET PAID FOR THE FIRST TIME FROM THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME WHICH WAS SUPER EXCITING.
Money is good.
So I guess that happened.
Sorry guys this isn't that interesting...
Happens to the best of us.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Head up, shoulders back.
AND STRUT!
That's pretty much what one of my co workers told me to do the other day when there was a cute boy in the tea room.
Gotta love the co workers :)
I'm the youngest by I think 17 years is the next youngest girl.
They know I can find a date if I want to, but they help wherever they can. I'm the only one that is not in a committed relationship or really any relationship at this point in time.
And really i'm fine by myself.
I've realized i'm slowly turning into a hermit somewhat.
Or maybe i'm just finding my independence and actually liking being alone.
Who knows!
But the guys at the tea room are closer to my age so we joke around a lot.
Casey, Matt and Kieran.
Kieran is 15.5 years old and we are trying to set him up with any cute girl that really walks through the door.
Casey and Matt are a few years older than me.
Matt speaks french to me when he brings me tea and gives the best hugs.
Casey is a bit quieter, but just as much fun to hang around with, and I occasionally get hugs from him.
We are a good little bunch.
The other day after I had that long hard day smoozing we went out for drinks and then went to trivia night at Brew, which was a mother-loving blast!
But we joke around and have fun and then as soon as a horde of teenage girls come in we go full on secret stalker.
Its normal.
But when I was a child and still to this day, whenever I would slouch dad would say "sit up straight, shoulders back".
I hated doing this because it was so much more work in my mind.
But now I'm actually doing that.
I hold my head high and my shoulders are back when I walk down the street.
I have a presence.
I respect myself a hell of a lot more and hold myself in a higher value than I did even 6 months ago.
So if you ever feel like you are having a blah day.
Head up and shoulders back and just keep on going.
You'll like yourself more later.
That's pretty much what one of my co workers told me to do the other day when there was a cute boy in the tea room.
Gotta love the co workers :)
I'm the youngest by I think 17 years is the next youngest girl.
They know I can find a date if I want to, but they help wherever they can. I'm the only one that is not in a committed relationship or really any relationship at this point in time.
And really i'm fine by myself.
I've realized i'm slowly turning into a hermit somewhat.
Or maybe i'm just finding my independence and actually liking being alone.
Who knows!
But the guys at the tea room are closer to my age so we joke around a lot.
Casey, Matt and Kieran.
Kieran is 15.5 years old and we are trying to set him up with any cute girl that really walks through the door.
Casey and Matt are a few years older than me.
Matt speaks french to me when he brings me tea and gives the best hugs.
Casey is a bit quieter, but just as much fun to hang around with, and I occasionally get hugs from him.
We are a good little bunch.
The other day after I had that long hard day smoozing we went out for drinks and then went to trivia night at Brew, which was a mother-loving blast!
But we joke around and have fun and then as soon as a horde of teenage girls come in we go full on secret stalker.
Its normal.
But when I was a child and still to this day, whenever I would slouch dad would say "sit up straight, shoulders back".
I hated doing this because it was so much more work in my mind.
But now I'm actually doing that.
I hold my head high and my shoulders are back when I walk down the street.
I have a presence.
I respect myself a hell of a lot more and hold myself in a higher value than I did even 6 months ago.
So if you ever feel like you are having a blah day.
Head up and shoulders back and just keep on going.
You'll like yourself more later.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Well sir, you woke up on the wrong side, didn't you?
Here's the deal.
I'm working 2 jobs.
I don't have much time to myself which is good because quite frankly when i'm bored I buy things and I need to buy books and not clothing or handbags...
Even though its super tough at There's No Place Like Home.
And I try to be chipper at both jobs.
But sometimes Julia is tired.
And hungry.
Which equals grumpy Julia.
So my tolerance for sass is much lower.
Or grumpy old men that just want to take out their frustrations on a cute woman that is trying to help one of her places of employment.
So I was "smoozing" the other day.
Which pretty much means driving to every single hotel and camp ground in and around durango and bribing them with goodies and telling them about the exciting things that are happening right now on the river and with M2W.
I actually like this job pretty ok because I get to talk to people and most front desk hotel people are friendly and like that i'm bringing goodies.
So i'm getting the hang of where the heck to go.
And I forget to bring a lunch because I'm thinking it wont take too long.
I WAS SO WRONG.
Next time i'm packing like 7 snacks.
So its like 4:30. I havent had any food since before 8.
This is one of my last places and then I can head back to the office, unload and go home.
I turn on the charm for this guy which works for about 2 seconds.
And then he bashes the goodies, and starts grilling me on the trips and about everything that i'm telling him.
And he calls me weak for not knowing everything about all the trips.
EXCUSE ME SIR!
I've been with this company 2 weeks. I don't know everything just yet.
I excuse myself from this asshole's presence.
There is literally no other word for this man and the way he acted towards me.
I was in tears again.
He got my name and I think hes going to call the company and report how poorly I did.
1st day doing this and i'm hungry and tired and he just has to grill me for all i'm worth.
The rest of the day was mostly fine.
Everyone loved me. I had great conversations that were short and sweet.
But this guy literally woke up on the wrong side of the bed and just needed someone to take it out on.
Apparently it was the nice and cute girl from mild to wild that doesn't know the full extent of all the trips just yet.
So yes sir, next week when you see my face, you will be getting all the freaking information that you didn't get this week.
So take that.
Sorry i'm not perfect and i'm not a trip consultant.
But come hell or high water I will show you that i'm not weak and you were wrong.
In the most polite and sincere way possible.
Because you made me cry.
I'm working 2 jobs.
I don't have much time to myself which is good because quite frankly when i'm bored I buy things and I need to buy books and not clothing or handbags...
Even though its super tough at There's No Place Like Home.
And I try to be chipper at both jobs.
But sometimes Julia is tired.
And hungry.
Which equals grumpy Julia.
So my tolerance for sass is much lower.
Or grumpy old men that just want to take out their frustrations on a cute woman that is trying to help one of her places of employment.
So I was "smoozing" the other day.
Which pretty much means driving to every single hotel and camp ground in and around durango and bribing them with goodies and telling them about the exciting things that are happening right now on the river and with M2W.
I actually like this job pretty ok because I get to talk to people and most front desk hotel people are friendly and like that i'm bringing goodies.
So i'm getting the hang of where the heck to go.
And I forget to bring a lunch because I'm thinking it wont take too long.
I WAS SO WRONG.
Next time i'm packing like 7 snacks.
So its like 4:30. I havent had any food since before 8.
This is one of my last places and then I can head back to the office, unload and go home.
I turn on the charm for this guy which works for about 2 seconds.
And then he bashes the goodies, and starts grilling me on the trips and about everything that i'm telling him.
And he calls me weak for not knowing everything about all the trips.
EXCUSE ME SIR!
I've been with this company 2 weeks. I don't know everything just yet.
I excuse myself from this asshole's presence.
There is literally no other word for this man and the way he acted towards me.
I was in tears again.
He got my name and I think hes going to call the company and report how poorly I did.
1st day doing this and i'm hungry and tired and he just has to grill me for all i'm worth.
The rest of the day was mostly fine.
Everyone loved me. I had great conversations that were short and sweet.
But this guy literally woke up on the wrong side of the bed and just needed someone to take it out on.
Apparently it was the nice and cute girl from mild to wild that doesn't know the full extent of all the trips just yet.
So yes sir, next week when you see my face, you will be getting all the freaking information that you didn't get this week.
So take that.
Sorry i'm not perfect and i'm not a trip consultant.
But come hell or high water I will show you that i'm not weak and you were wrong.
In the most polite and sincere way possible.
Because you made me cry.
6 months or 181 posts.
Yeah that's right.
This blog has been going on for 6 whole months.
Do you remember my first few posts?
I really didn't think I would make it this far.
Or it would just piddle out.
Plenty of times during the end of the year when i was 2 weeks behind and had a mountain of homework, i thought about stopping.
But here I am.
Still writing and entertaining you guys.
I still don't understand why you come back to read about my random bouts of love, life and the pursuit of happiness.
Or mostly rants about those damn people that decide to cross me or treat me unfairly.
I really honestly do not understand how this is still popular.
I bet its mostly Mormor, mom, Claire and Brynna still reading.
Its you guys that are keeping it afloat!
Well now you know a few of my quirks.
I go in phases of my opinion of the opposite sex.
And how sometimes blogs are pointed at someone in particular.
And sometimes they are more broad.
Have you noticed that if I have something scandalous like I don't know going on a date or accidentally drunk texting something, its at the bottom of a blog.
Its like a test to see if you actually read to the end.
And we all know I rant a lot.
And when its about one thing I usually have a few blogs about it.
Like problems at work.
Or a certain person deciding to play me.
Or school being hard.
I cant tell you how many lazy Saturday or Sunday posts I have.
There is only one post I did not post to Facebook because it was such an angry rant.
Its called MAYBE THIS TIME
And its a scary rant about people being stupid.
Read at your own discretion...
But overall this has been good.
Its been fun.
Its been good therapy and its actually helped some people oddly enough.
So thanks for reading and enjoying my random bouts of crazy, weird and quirky moments.
And for not reporting me to the police for how much of a hot mess I am.
Here is to many more months of hotmessness!
That is not a word!
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