The roommate needs to come back now

So the roommate, my lovely Annamarie

LEFT ME FOR ARVADA SATURDAY MORNING AT 6 AM!
I told her to wake me up when she was leaving and she did and when she opened my door I immediately groaned, NOOOOOH!
I really didn't want her to leave.

And I miss her.
Shes like my little buddy.
If either of us needs to run an errand we go together.
Or if we just need a movie night we hang out.
We gossip and she eats her gluten free food and I eat my gluten filled food.
Its a good relationship.

But her leaving just sort of snuck up on me.
I imagined that I would have a more set summer by now but I do not.
And that it wouldn't be this hard.

But I really hate being alone.
And not getting to talk to her all the time.
And mostly I just hate being in the apartment alone.
Because I have a wild imagination.
And because i'm the only  one home, I tend to not really clean as much because there are fewer dishes, and no one else here, so its just me that I need to impress and I put stuff off which is not a healthy habit.
But it will be OK.
This princess Leia can live for a little bit with out her R2D2.

I'll miss her cute little accountant talk.
And how we sometimes venture to the barn together.
Or have random shopping expeditions.

Shes my buddy and I miss her a lot.
But I know she is having a great time back home and i'm glad see gets to see them for a few months.
Shes going to be so busy and I'll be busy too so the summer will pass quickly and soon I will have my wonderful now once again blonde and beautiful gluten free horse loving roommate home to snuggle with.

Love you girly

Always look on the bright side of life

do doo do doo do doo doo doo do doo

If you didn't sing that, we cant be friends.

Well I didn't tell you about all the good things besides being extremely blunt that happened on Thursday.

So I went to my internship like I usually do at 2 on Thursday but beforehand I dropped off a resume at  There's No Place Like Home which is that cute story that is connected to the White Dragon Tea room.

Yeah its adorable.
And they seemed interested in me. And now I have an interview!

And so I went to the internship and got a freaking hiking backpack just to thank me for my work.
Now its a cute little osprey day pack but still that is so thoughtful.
And I mean really, I blog everyday, or i'm supposed to so this blog isnt too difficult.
It was like a reward because its an unpaid internship but really its not so hard to manage.

And then I stopped by Grass Burger and dropped off the application, met the owner and he seemed like he liked me and said he'd probably be calling me soon.

So yes the job front is looking up.
Lets just hope I get something soon so I don't feel so bad about being a lazy ass just recently.

Yeah but i'm good guys.
Its OK.

I got mad and got shit done.
That is just how I operate sometimes.

OK, I get it, I'm blunt.

Journalism is my shindig people so this really shouldn't be a surprise.
I was wrestling with this complex a few months ago in Steve Meyers class.
I am familiar with journalistic, blunt and to the point type of writing.
I do not use extra words.
I am not fluffy.
OK well I might becoming a little fluffier around the waistline, BUT I'M NOT FLUFFY WITH MY WRITING

So yesterday as were walking around the Durango Art walk, one of Deanna's many suitors came out of his place of employment and gave her a huge hug.
As in he picked her up.

Everyone loves Deanna and for many good reasons.
We are actually pretty similar, except for when it comes to men.

I do not waste time.
I get to the point.
In some cases its like taking them for a roller coaster ride.
To see if they can handle me.

This girl takes her time.
She is very methodical.
She plans.
She is extremely sweet and eases into things.

So the man came out and they were talking, and after they were done I wanted to go and find him and tell him to just get up the guts to ask her out already.

I am that type of girl.

If I like someone I do not waste all that much time.
Which can come off really strong.

I do not play games and apparently everyone else plans and plots their moves.
I do not believe in that whole waiting three days to text or call someone after a date.
I do it when the moment hits me.
I am not smooth.

Which may be why I am single at the current moment...
Because I have scared all the men away.

Its OK.
I know i'm a lot to handle.
This is going to take some time.
As one of the advise cards on the rules board in my apartment says "you have to wade through some frogs to get to your damn prince".

I just wade through the frogs faster than most.

I don't have time to plot and wait for life to happen.
I don't have time for everything to be perfect.
Mortality complex going on with me, remember?



Just have to find my damn prince that can handle all of this.
Don't worry Mom.
I'll marry Mitch in 8.5 years on the new years eve after my 30th birthday.
Because normal families do that stuff..

Yeah, not really...

"When you get mad like this, you make things happen".

So i'm an emotional roller coaster.
We've been over this and this is not new news for those of you that have the chance or in some ways misfortune of hearing my rants.

It has gotten better.
But one of the things about being passionate is that I will get to a certain point where I have had enough and then I am literally unstoppable.
Like a switch just turns on and suddenly I just cannot stop.

I kick ass and take names when i'm mad.
Which can be interesting.

But for the most part I focus my energy and emotions into accomplishing something.

The "mess" I was talking about yesterday usually goes something like a breaking point, I mope and then i mentally beat myself up enough that I don't want to hear it anymore that I switch and change my mentality.
It goes from impossible to possible.

So that is what happened.

I started by cleaning my room.
And then I made a list of everything I needed to do today.
Set some alarms.
And went to bed.
I think organizing my life into a list of every minuscule thing helps because my mind is already overthinking, I don't want to have to bring up the list of things to do.
So list done.
I woke up, drank some water and did a mini work out.
Made my bed and then some breakfast.
And started out on my list.
Worked on the blog.
Finished a job application.
Took a shower and got ready.
Dropped off a resume at There's no place like home.
Went and met with Whitney my internship lady, and I got an awesome little osprey hiking back pack as a thank you for the blogging i've done.
Went and dropped off the application.
Both places I went seemed interested so there is hope.
Came home, took a nap and then went to the Durango Art walk with the friends.
Spent the rest of the evening with them and then came home and here I am now.
And you know what? I got almost everything done.
The only thing I didn't get done was the "get a job" task.
But its getting there.

So yes I am an emotional roller coaster, but it just means I am passionate and I get shit done when I am upset.

So yes, this job hunt has now become my lesser.
Bring it on.

Fine.

We all break.
We have times where we are not fine.
We have times when we screw up.
We have times when we are over our heads.
We have times when just cant make the right decisions.
We have times when we just do not win.

Some days I do not win.
Actually this happens a lot.
Some things just don't come to me that easily.

Love and happily ever after is one.
Saying no is another.
Grasping topics are a hit or miss.

I sometimes think I may have a slight learning disability but that could be just me thinking too much into something.
I could be perfectly fine.

But sometimes I screw up.
On the surface I usually try to portray this calm.
Like I have my life together.
I can hold it together until it gets to a certain point.
And then it just spills out and makes a mess.

Today would be one of those days when I just cannot be in the right.

I feel like a hot mess.
And today was the day when it all spilled out.

So bear with me as I try to put this all back together.

The job hunt isn't going so well and I feel like i've been lazy too long.
I need to get off my ass and do something about it.

So i'm sorry for being a flake.
And i'm sorry for not being a full on adult.

I will try and do better tomorrow.

So here is me admitting that I am not fine.
But as with all great stories, you have to hit the bottom before you can climb your way out.

I will be fine, soon.

Onward and upward, right?

A love/hate relationship

Its with this pair of shoes.

The are the cutest kitten heels ever.
I bet you didn't see that coming??

So they are this gorgeous blue, with a pink floral pattern on them.
So freaking cute.

The downside of these adorable shoes is that they are terrible to walk in.
My massive feet somehow always catch the heel wrong and I wobble. And then I glare at the imaginary piece of sidewalk that decided to make me look silly.
But its the shoes!

And today I was adulting again and on the hunt for a job, which meant I thought it would be a brilliant idea to wear these heels.

Bad bad life choices...

For the first like 20 minutes or so they were OK, and then they started to burn,
And I had to push myself to walk into the last place because my feet hurt so much.
But I feel like I have a pretty good chance getting a job there!

But legitimately I had to take off my shoes whilst driving because they hurt so much, and I wasn't even putting any weight on my feet.

I hobbled into Ace, and got lights for my rear license plate.
Legitimately hobbled.
And you know how when you are trying to get stuff done and then people get in the way.
Right now the tourists are out in full force so there are plenty of slow walkers and drivers everywhere.
And plenty of choice words used whilst driving.

But of course as i'm walking into Ace, i'm stuck behind the most indecisive elderly couple that was taking up all this space so it was impossible to get around them.
But eventually I did and found what I think is the correct light.

But when I got home I took off my shoes and saw that all the pain was from 3 massive blisters on the edges of my feet, 2 mini ones on 2 toes, and the backs of my ankles are torn up.
So currently I have 3 band-aids on my right foot, 2 on my left and there is still that huge one covering the scrape.

Yep, I am winning at this falling apart as a supposed adult stuff.

Well tomorrow is Wednesday which means the day after that Deanna has off, and then this weekend is her 21st.
All I have to do is focus on getting a job, not hurting myself anymore, and then helping that gorgeous girl have a fabulous 21st and then also play some fairy godmother on her.

I guess I will have to dust off my wings...



Now if that one guy would just text me back already that would be just peachy!

Yeah, that wasn't the best idea... and GoT!

So I think how much danger we were truly in on Sunday finally hit on Monday.
The mommies were very concerned and for good reason.
I found out how fast the river actually was going.
And after our hazardous dismount and having the serious urge to kiss a rock, furry animal or person who also shared the ground I walked on, I knew we had been in over our heads.

Sorry Mom,Dad, Annamaries' mommy and Steve for worrying you.

We will be very careful next time.
And hopefully next time we will not come out of it with scrapes and the intense urge to kiss something/ someone.

But after a day of nursing this damn wound, I went over to Carter and Deanna's for a GAME OF THRONES NIGHT!

I had been gone the week prior so I needed to catch up with those hooligans WHO HAD WATCHED THE EPISODE WITH OUT ME!

Its OK i'm not too beat up about it.
They needed to kill time.
Plus the world cannot revolve around me.

So I watched the episode and then Carter had some friends over where we feasted on pizza and Bloody Marys.

And then we watched the new episode!

And it was AMAZING!!
I cannot believe that it is almost the end of this season.
I have to mentally prepare myself for this.
Sweet Jesus, this is not OK with me.
Oh my goodness the end of the episode, I was almost convinced that I should go purchase a nightlight like when I was a small child.

But I slept through the night!