ZHE FILM FESTIVAL MADNESS

So if you've never been to a film festival/ never been in one.
Here is a forewarning- they are crazy and wonderful.

So the last selections for this student film festival were decided on Tuesday morning.
Tuesday evening was the festival.
And making the program was stressful because it all had to be done that day.

AND MY FILM DRAG GOT SELECTED TO BE SHOWN AND I WAS SO EXCITED
If you haven't seen it yet here is the link to it.
https://vimeo.com/125492355

Its pretty great if I do say so myself and you know when I went to that one drag show a few weeks before hand? Yeah I filmed that for this piece.

None of my other pieces got in but this one did.
And I was extremely proud.

Plus a few of my friends  pieces got in too.
Which just made it that much better.
Mike, Carter, Nic, Haylee, Allie and the fabulous Tirrell all had pieces in it and I loved the show!

AND CARTER HAD HIS GOLLUM OF THE RING SELECTED AS BEST OF THE FEST!
He got a lego oscar and it was pretty epic.
Plus if you saw the piece since it was all a stop motion lego film the fact he won a lego oscar was too perfect.
He definitely deserved it.

Actually everyone deserved to be in it!

I have no idea why am so excited and using so much caps lock but it was a great night.

So my dear reader if you have the chance to go to a student film festival, DO IT!

4/20- The one day Diego gave us a "Mental Health Day"

So if you didn't know, i'm not a typical resident of Colorado.
Or what most of the rest of the country would assume as a typical resident.

I don't smoke pot.
I don't do drugs.
I occasionally have a glass of wine on Bingo night, but really I don't drink all that often.

So 4/20 was just another typical Monday for me EXCEPT Diego my Spanish teacher, which I have his class at 8:15 every MWF decided to give us the day off because it was "A mental health day".

Mmmhmmmm yeah sure that's why.
We all know whats up.
Actually I think he just wanted a mental health day and it just so happened that Monday was 4/20.
Whatever its not my business to what professors do in their recreational time.

Anyways so I was so thankful I had that off so I could come in and finish my damn video project.

I'm so proud on how it turned out.

Once that was finished I could seriously relax because really all my work and the hell week was over.
All I had to do was make the program for the film festival and get my voice back.
Plus hope to god Drag got selected.


So I hope your 4/20 was lovely because I spent mine catching up on sleep and not high as a kite.

Editing and Game of Thrones

So if you've never had to do a video project, they always take much much longer than you ever expected.
I got to the lab that day probably around 11:30.
Didn't leave until 8:30.
And I only left then because I was going to kill someone if I didn't.
And the damn video still wasn't done!

Nope I came in the next day and finished it.

But I only left at 8:30 because the friend group and I were watching game of thrones.
Its an obsession now.
And I freaking love it.
We have this group that always gets together Sunday night and watches Game of Thrones together.

We just cant start off the week with out seeing each other and watching Game of Thrones.

But initially I didn't like it because it was so gory and graphic.
But you just kind of become numb to it after a while.

We are all obsessed and often debate about who is going to be killed off this season.
Carter has read the books so its interesting to see if the events in the book match the show.
And to see his reactions when they don't match.

Even with all the gore and sex and graphic violent content we still cannot get enough.
And its mostly girls and then Mike and Carter.

Yep were those nerds that love and obsess about Game of Thrones and we cannot stop watching.
Heres to a summer where Sunday nights are sacred and reserved for our nerdom.

Maybe I should clean my room....

So just so we are all clear, the week prior to this I had a page and a half long list of things I needed to do.
So cleaning and anything that I deemed unnecessary went out the window.
Which meant my room pretty much turned into the equivalent of what the destruction after a bomb blast looks like.

I just kind of threw things into my closet.
And if you've ever been in my room you'll know I have a walk in closet that has a door.
So I sometimes or well always take advantage of that.
So this is really bad but if I need to clean my room really quick i'll just shove everything in my closet.

I know what you are thinking... I should really clean my room.
Currently it is half cleaned dad.

Yep.

But with summer coming up and my schedule opening up for work and free time this'll be alleviated soon.

So yes dad. My room is pretty clean.

It just wasnt a priority when I was busy.
So yeah...

This is one of the weirdest blogs i've ever written.

Sunflowers

Just so we are all clear.
I am not the typical run of the mill type of girl.
My favorite flower is a sun flower and I would much rather get a bouquet of sun flowers instead of a bouquet of roses any day.
I've already decided i'm having sunflowers in my wedding bouquet.
Its just happening.
Deal with it.

But anyways this particular Friday was like the end of my craziness that had just built up over the week.
Unfortunately due to the weather suddenly deciding that that particular day would be a fabulous day to just dump a foot and a half of snow on the passes after a pretty dry spring, so the parentals couldn't make it down.
Yeah it just had to be that weekend...

So I had a presentation in food to dress up for and that I had my final band concert.
So I wore the warmest dress that still made me look damn fine.
And this one guy who I was seeing for a while and then we decided to go our separate ways saw me and said "I like your dress".
Of course you like this dress sir :)

It suits me well.
I have a long body and I need things that have a waist so I just don't look like a massive rectangle.
And this dress in particular has a waist and its a bit low cut but it has long sleeves and its a good length. But it hugs my curves.

So suffice to say I knew I had eyes on me.

My friend KC in Spanish as I walked in the door said "Damn! Do you have a date at like 9 am or something?"
Nope just a presentation in food and a band concert.

Anyways so the parentals couldn't come because of the damn storm but instead I had a posse of friends that came.

And they brought me a bouquet of sun flowers which I was so touched that they even came and then they show up with my favorite flowers.
So spoiled.





Plus later that night I got to hang out with a handsome man that also went to the concert...
Good times

And sometimes the words come easily

And sometimes like the title says, the worlds flow easily.

Which is a hit or miss for me sometimes.
Hence why this blog is like a week and a half late.
I've been busy and stressed so it was either do the blog or get a bad grade in my class.

The grades won.
But anyways the words finally came to me after a long time of having writers block.
This often happens when your confidence in your ability as a writer is shaken.
And then when it is alleviated it is like having a rain storm after a long drought.
It is just wonderful.
Everything flows.
And I finally found my groove again after a while of doubting my ability as a writer.

Those damn creative writing majors.

But anyways I wrote about something I love.
And I think I was so caught up in a rut because I didn't want to share my passion.
If you somehow missed it I'm still in band, in college.
Even though i'm not a music major.
I'm just doing this for funsies.

And I play the bassoon which is pretty much the penis of the band instruments.
Its a massive piece of wood that sticks up and is not all that attractive to look at or the sound of it is the furthest thing from sexy.
Plus i'm in a section of immature boys that love to remind me i'm the only girl and i'm playing a massive piece of wood.
Yes. That is me.

And I didn't want to share it with my class because lets be honest its not sexy.
And its a bunch of mountain people that love to hike and are athletic.
And i'm not that.

But once I got over what others would think the new and improved final piece for mountain sports about band and playing an unattractive instrument just came.

So to all my writers, don't let what you think others will think of you keep you from writing whats inside.
Never let what others think stop your fingers from typing or your hands from writing or your mind from forming the sentences.

Never let it stop you.

Happiness

HA!
If you thought this was a post about how to be happy you are supremely wrong my friend.

This post is about the song Happiness by the band The Fray.

I am so devious.
But I will say if you want to be happy all you have to do is love who you are and be able to make yourself happy.
That's the only substantial answer I've found in my 21 years of life.

But I've just recently found and old but a great song by the band The Fray.
Now I started listening to The Fray in 7th grade.
Right when they were getting popular.
You know when How to Save a Life was on Grey's.
Yeah that time!

Last year I went to my first Fray concert and it was EPIC!
Oh Honey opened and they were followed by Barcelona
DID I FORGET TO MENTION IT WAS AT RED ROCKS AND IT WAS RAINING LIKE CRAZY!
It was still so good.
I nearly cried at Look after you.
And being an Arvada native I have known about them from the beginning and have just watched the move up and up in the world.
I think a few years ago my mom was going to yoga with Isaacs grandma.
Small world I know.
But they went to Ralston Valley and Faith and I went to Arvada West.
And we are all just so proud of what they have accomplished.
Hometown heroes.

But the song Happiness I've honestly never heard before.
And now I cant stop.

If you are a massive Colorado lover who supports all the amazing musicians that have come out of this state check out first The Fray.
And then the song Happiness.

It starts out slow and then it ends hopeful.
So suffice to say I like to listen to it in the morning because I need music and for something to tell me that getting up was actually a good idea.
Instead of being the bane of my existence.



SO GO CHECK IT OUT NOW!
AND BE HAPPY!

Sometimes the words are never right

Sometimes writing is hard.
Sometimes even being an English major the words never come out in the right order.
Sometimes I never like what i write.
And that was my problem.

I never  liked anything that I wrote for Mountain Sports Writing.
I never thought what I wrote was up to snuff to what everyone else that was creative writing majors were writing.
I didn't believe in my talent of a journalism major.
That I don't skirt around what I write.
I'm blunt.
And there's power in knowing what you are and what you are not.

But on Tuesday I seriously doubted my talent.
And Steve Meyers has an uncanny ability to just make me into a puddle of tears.
I have no idea why.

I didnt like what I wrote.
And I broke down once again.
And Steve made me write something I hate.

So I did.
I wrote about things that are so over done.
Crazy enamoring true love.
The Mountains.
The Ocean.

What person hasn't written about the mass expanse of the ocean?
Pretty much everyone.
Thats easy.

How many people have been honest with you?
How many have been painfully blunt?
Not many.

And that's my choice as a writer.
To rip off the band-aid and be painfully blunt.
Write the words that sometimes are hard to write.
Get straight to the point.

That is my choice.
To write the words that may taste wrong on your tongue.
To be blunt.
To tell the truth.

The most hectic Monday ever.

So on this particular Monday I literally was running from one thing to another.
And this week in general was just hectic.

But getting out of Monday alive was a feat

It started at 6 am with getting up and getting ready for the day

8:15 Spanish class which got out early and I went to go work on a Prezi
9:35 food blogging
and immediately after I went to go meet with the girl I was doing my Prezi with for my dumb CRLA class.
12- 12:45 tutoring observation for the dumb CRLA class. I mainly just sat there and ate my salad whilst one of my friends helped her tutee do her music homework.
12:35-1:45 editing in video class
1:45-3:15 making graphics for the indy online and studying for CRLA
3:15-3:40 putting the finishing touches on the dumb prezi for the dumb class for CRLA.
4-4:50 BAND where I cut my toe on the edge of the podium and didn't realize it until i sat down to take the test for the CRLA class
5-7- taking the final CRLA class and doing presentations
7-7:15 ran to go the orientation meeting that i just missed and filled out my paperwork.
7:15 on I went home and thanked god I was finally done running.

I slept so well that night because I literally did not stop running the entire day.
BUT
I felt extremely accomplished because I got everything done.

So being busy is exhausting but at the same time rewarding.
So keep busy.
Its pretty great.
Just make sure to bring snacks so you don't die.

Just sleeping in

So as I've discussed before.
Its hard for me to sleep in because 8 am classes are the devil.

So it'll be 7:30 and i'll wake up and I cant go back to bed.
What the heck body!?!

I went to bed at like 2:30 and with out fail i'll wake up at 7:30 or 8.

Maybe someday i'll be able to sleep in.
That'd be nice.
Then I wouldn't have to take so many naps.
And then there'd be less embarrassing pictures of me asleep on the freakishly comfy couch in my mermaid tail.
Because we all know when I fall asleep its super sexy.
There's so much sarcasm

But yes.
Sleeping in!
That will happen!

Claire.

Claire Elise Volzke.
My lovely, wonderful, whimsical, gregarious, fantastic, talented, gorgeous little sister.

She is all those things and more!

Claire was born on April 11th 1997.
That was the day I became a middle child...
And the day I finally had my dreams come true of someone to actually play with.
I just wanted someone to have a tea party with. And Claire begrudgingly would play tea party with me. But really Barbies  was our thing. Even though we would do Cinderella and somehow she always got the good Ken.
Because lets be honest Owen wasn't really the playing type for me.

She has always been sure in her skin.
And that's one of the many things I really admire about her.
She has always had this confidence about her on knowing exactly who she is.
I've never been comfortable in my skin so I wish I had that trait.


Shes also freaking talented.
Claire originally started playing violin in 5th grade.
Moved up and showed how much of a contender she was and how talented she is as a musician.
And then when time came around to be in marching band she didn't shy away.
She took up melophone which if you didn't know is marching french horn.
Now before that she had never played a wind instrument and she just takes up the melophone because why not??
And then she was playing french horn.
And now she is in chamber orchestra on violin and wind ensemble on french horn and melophone marching band section leader.
She is crazy talented and I admire how great and driven she is every day.

She never gives up and is able to handle herself with such grace.
I kind of free she should have gotten the middle name of Grace rather than me because she is so much more graceful than I am.
I've can probably count on one hand the number of times I've seen Claire cry.
Shes a tough little cookie and rarely ever cries.
One of our favorite stories about Claire was when she was probably 2 or 3 Owen was bothering her and being the spitfire she is she turned to him in her adorable voice and said "you weiner".
Being the third child you have to be a bit of a fighter or you are going to be trampled.
I pretty much cry at least weekly.
She is able to bottle it up and let it out when needed. She can control it.


Claire is pretty much the definition of cool.
She has the humility that Owen does not have and the confidence I do not have and made it into something so much bigger.
She never had an awkward stage or at least if she did it was for maybe a few months.

Shes also a hell of a lot tougher than i am.
When I went off to college just after mom was diagnosed she was the only child left at home with the parentals.
She cared for mom so well and she has this tenderness for people.
She had to grow up a bit that year because neither O or I were home. She had to take care of mom sometimes alone. But she always knew what mom wanted or needed.
She is going into social work in college and I know she will change the world.

She has never let anything stop her.
If she wants something she goes after it.
She challenges herself every day and is constantly busy.
And yet it still seems like she could take on the world and it still wouldn't be that big of deal to her.
She is never over dramatic and she is always fair.


I immensely admire my beautiful little sister Claire.
I love being her big sister and being able to gush about how incredible she is.
I love that she loves unconditionally.
I love that she is so driven.
I love how she gracefully handles change.
I love how talented she is.
I love that she and I have become closer in the past few years.
I love that we have a relationship where we can just go to target for a random target run.
I love knowing she is going to make an impact on the world.

I love my brilliant little sister to the moon and back.
I love her so much
And I miss her so much too.
But I will see her in a few weeks when she graduates from high school.
I love that I was blessed with a little sister as wonderful and successful as Claire.
I love that I share the same potential set of DNA as she does.
I love that she has hazel eyes.


So my dear Claire, happy late 18th birthday my wonderful.
Here's to many more trips around the sun gorgeous!

TGIF

Fridays are the best.
And that Friday was pretty good.

I had plans with my friends.
And I had a relaxing Friday night ahead of me.
And it was glorious.

Just having that rest after a long week is when I need.
Getting to wake up with the light versus an alarm.
Making the breakfast you want to make instead of one that is quick.
Hang out in your pjs all day long.
Yep, there is nothing more glorious than a warm spring Friday with a sundress.

Ohh yeah that sundress loved to blow up and flash people.
Yeah probably should stop wearing sundresses to school since it is on top of a mesa and its always windy.
Ohh well

I must have made a few peoples day with my embarrassing moments

I must have definitely.

The Indy was athletic?

I know shocking.

A bunch of comms majors actually doing something athletic?

It was actually quite a sight.


So they were having this color capture the flag.
And you needed a group of ten.
Now the indy is just now becoming an entity of friends so i wasnt sure if this would actually work.
So around 2 and the event starts at 6 we had 8.
And suddenly with some finagling we got 11!
11 indy people being athletic!

So i was really surprised.
So I showed up with the roommate in tow and see everyone in indy t-shirts, tennis shoes and ridiculous athletic shorts or crazy pants
Trevor had donut pants.
Not even kidding,
Our editor and chief was in tight donut pants.

We were the only team that matched. It was pretty legit,
And we were all super hyper off the fact that this actually got together and that we were all matching and we were out in public together.

So the very first round we were pumped and won.
We all fought over having our favorite colors to throw.

WE ran and fought so hard.

And then we were challenged by another team that was a bit more athletic and so we were a little winded.
I felt like a fat kid in gym class.

I can sprint, but after a little bit i get winded.
And it is not cute.


So the next game we didnt win.
BUT AT LEAST WE WON A GAME AND GOT BANDANNAS AND HAD SOME FUN

So I suggest if you have the chance, get a group of friends together to do something fun and active like that. You will have a blast

I wear high waisted shorts...

So we've all heard about my love hate relationship with shorts.
Sometimes they just don't look good,
And being a sizable woman sometimes there's unpleasant things like wearing short shorts and a hot room and how your legs stick to plastic desk chairs.
It is not attractive.

BUT THE EASTER BUNNY BROUGHT MY VERY FIRST PAIR OF HIGH WAISTED SHORTS

Now you may not know this but my friend Hanna and I, our first legitimate conversation besides her being the new print design editor, was about high waisted shorts.
She was wearing a pair on the very first day and I told her how i couldnt wear them because they looked weird on me.

I was so wrong.
So so very wrong.

I looked damn fine in them.
Now because I have an hourglass figure with a small waist, these really helped to accentuate my waist, and lengthen my long legs to look even longer.

So do not dis the high waisted shorts until you've tried them.
Just don't.

Plus the only time I can wear my crop tops is when i'm wearing a high waisted skirt.
Now I can wear pants and feel damn sexy.

They also cover up that unsavory area that's between your belly button and hips.

It was just so good.
I
 had a cute boy tell me I looked good in those cute shorts.
Which just made my day.
I was bubbly.

And plenty of guys opened the door for me or I could feel their eyes on me.

Which after a few weeks of feeling like a bit of a gray moth, its nice to I guess feel like you are desirable.

So if you feel like you need a change or want to try something  new.
Try high waisted shorts.

So much confidence came from those shorts.

Tiny Humans

So one of my professors refers to her children as "Tiny Humans".
We've all met her boys and the ears just get me every time.
Just too cute.

Anyways on Tuesday somehow we got on the subject of baby pictures.
And of course all the women just flocked to look at the pictures she had of her boys.
Like literally all the women in the media center, except Rachel... because shes not a nice lady.

So were over literally cooing at baby pictures.
And we all just look over at all the guys trying to ignore us and our racket that we are making.
Carter is unfortunately in ear shot so he must endure it.
Poor poor Carter.

Dear lord there was so much estrogen.

I've been experienced to cooing ladies before but i've never been involved to this extent.

I think because I went to go visit baby Abigail i've realized how much I would like kids someday.
If possible by my own doing or by adoption.

But I want kids way far in the future.
The roommate and I failed at keeping our herbs alive.
Theres no way we are ready for a fish.
Much less a tiny human.


But not until I am married and we both can support a family.
When its safe to do so I will.

But we were just over there oogling at baby pictures.

And then I realized I had turned into my mother.
And i'm not ready for that.

So I will look at the babies,
Love them.
And then give them back.

Theres no way i'm ready for that.

Itsy Bitsy Victories

Do you ever have that one thing that can just make your day even thought it may be the most miniscule of things.

Like a perfect morning with a perfect cup of chai.
Leaving somehow early for school.
Not rushing to get a good spot.
My parking spot is open.
Getting one point higher on a quiz, that you were nervous about, than the know it all in the class.
Getting everything on your list accomplished for the day.
A good reed day.

Just those little things that can instantly make your day.
Especially on a Monday. Those are needed.
Like a few weeks ago on the Monday after daylight savings when the guy at Jazzmans gave me a legitimate mountain of whip cream on my coffee with chocolate drizzle.
I mean he gave me a freaking spoon to eat it all.


Little things like that.

People going the extra mile when its unexpected.

Tiny thoughtful surprises will always make my day.

Little victories that make you smile after a long day.

We all need these things to keep us going.


So I hope you had a little victory today!

The Easter Bunny still comes to my house :)

Having Easter away from home can sometimes be challenging.
This is mostly because my family is so tightly knit that when i'm not home and everyone else is together it makes holidays harder.
I wish I could be home more often.

But this Easter was pretty good.
The Easter bunny had sent my Easter basket in the mail and so I just had to have some self control to not open it before Easter Sunday.
Which is interesting because I have little to no self control when it comes to A- packages from the Easter bunny and B- when I know they contain chocolate and/or clothing.

But today I actually did,
And inside there was of course excessive amounts of chocolate, as in peanut butter eggs, chocolate bars, and dove chocolate eggs.
As well as some cute clothing :)
Good job easter bunny

And then the roommate and I decided to go to brunch.
Which was a good choice because we hadnt really seen each other the days prior so we needed some girl time.
So we dressed up in some cute maxi dresses and headed out.

And we got gawked at by these men.
Like we walked by and they watched us from our approach to when we walked past.
Seriously.
Did they have no decency?

But we had a lovely brunch and treated ourselves because its been a long semester and we havent really gone out this semester.


Had some roommate bonding time and went home and I napped of course.

But I really miss being home and dying eggs and doing an egg hunt.
Someday i'll be home :)
Love you family

Jules

So just so we are all clear.
I like my name just the way it is.
Its pronounced Ju-lee-ah
With three syllables and not two.

Do not call me Julie.
Or Juliet.
Or J.

The one exception is Jules.
That is the only nickname I will respond to but only for certain people.

Only those closest to me that I call dear friends or family can call me Jules.
Those are the only people.

But if were not that close and you decide to think you can call me Jules.
Nope. Nope nope nope nope and nope.

I don't do pet names in relationships or change my name.
I'm constant.
I like my name a lot and it suits me.
Its Julia to about 95% of the world.
The last 5% gets Jules.

But Jules is reserved to those I trust and love.
I don't have that many friends that I trust.
There's probably about 5 at school that would be allowed to call me Jules.

Anyways how this all came about is that after seeing The Producers on Friday night as Carter, Mike and I were walking back, Mike said "Goodnight Jules".

Now he did not know about my uptight consideration about letting people call me Jules.
And he has become one of the few that has subconsciously been allowed to call me Jules.
It was just serendipitous I guess.

No one really knows about my quirk about not letting everyone call me Jules and he just did out of the blue.

But anyways I kind of freaked out because he called me Jules which is my nickname coming from a good friend.

It was just great.
And now he just calls me Jules.

But I hope that in the future I become better friends with more people so that they too can call me Jules.
I love both names a lot.

I just like having Jules friends.

The Producers

So on Friday night I went to go see FLC's production of The Producers.

It was opening night and for the first time in a really long time almost all my friends were able to go.

Usually when I hang out with my friends we just go catch a drink at a bar.

And our good friend Deanna is not 21 YET and she works her ass off. So we don't get to see her all the often outside of school.

So it was absolutely wonderful that we were all able to go to this together.


And opening night no less for having a fun night together.

Its weird because a lot of the Indy editors, Indy staff and those in some of our class are all friends outside of school and we like to hang out.
We've all agreed that now that we are all finally friends after like a year or so of dealing with each other that no one is allowed to mess this up.
So no new relationships.
No drama.
Lets just all try to be friends.

So when I go out its usually Indy people.
Were weird and actually enjoy each others company.


But anyways The Producers!

I had heard some good things about this and being in music I had to go to support my fellow nerds that were in the band and actually on stage or in tech.

So there we tromped.
Carter, Deanna, Mike even though he was working and myself, plus Catherine.
And we had so much fun!

It had plenty of hilarious moments and they kept it light.
And honestly you know how some musicals they feel like they drag on forever.
This one just flew by.

I loved it and so did my cohorts that I saw it with.
Ulla was adorable and so were Leo and Max.
The guy who plays Max is in my Spanish class and I knew he was in it but I didn't know in that big of role.
But it was funny because we had the German and Swedish cultures and what people often associate with the two.
Ulla the swede is known for being beautiful.
And the Germans are known for being a bit brash.

But it was still lovely, wonderful and extremely entertaining.
So if you need a date night.
GO SEE THE PRODUCERS!

ZHE DRAG QUEENS

So just as a preface I've never gone to a drag show before Thursday and I didn't really know a whole lot about drag culture until just a few months ago.

So going to my first drag show was an experience.

And I loved it.

Also as a preface I hardly ever go out during the week just because I have evil 8 am classes and I need my sleep or I literally resemble Grendel from Greek mythology.
I am not a nice person with out adequate sleep.

So I went out on thursday because A- I'm doing my final project for my video production class on drag culture and B - because my good friend Tirrell was preforming in it and I had heard such great things about the last drag show him and his friend did that I just had to go.

So I went out.

Well first I filmed Tirrell getting ready.
Which was an experience and a half.
I thought I knew make up.
But damn he knows make up.
He was doing some crazy contouring and some really fierce eye shadow.

And he looked really good.

Like this was my first time experiencing drag and I loved the entire experience.

Well after I headed to the bar and met up with some friends.
Now it was also at this one bar that's known for being a little shady.
Its been known that those underage can buy drinks,
They don't really ID I guess.
And for those reasons I don't go to this bar like ever.


But one of my cordial acquaintances was the bouncer and hes this big really nice built guy.
So if anything happened or if someone was bothering me I knew I had him.
Which just as an FYI I didn't and don't put myself in situations like that.

But the drag show started around 11.
By then some of my girl friends had arrived and there was this creepy old man trying to buy us drinks.
He was hell bent on buying me a drink but I said no and got a glass of water.
Drunk old men in a younger bar are quite interesting if I do say so myself.


But the show started and Tirrell shook his little ass and had so much fun strutting around in his sky high heels.
He is a beautiful drag queen.

And I've known him from the Indy this semester but I never knew he could dance and act that way.
We all had so much fun and i'm so proud of all the numbers him and his friend did.

It was an incredible show and just the atmosphere except for the creepy old guy was great.

BUT I had tons of fun and don't worry I was very safe.
We all watched our drinks and each others drinks.
We were very very safe mom.


But if there is ever another drag show in Durango just know i'll be there!

We'll be ok

So I have this dear friend.

But we've gone through similar heart breaks.
Just a few months apart.

Mine was in July.
Theirs was recently.

I've been helping them along with some other friends to get through this emotional stage.
Getting out of a long term relationship and trying to deal with this transition is one of the hardest things.
I ate a lot of calories.
I tend to eat my feelings which thank goodness I have a high metabolism

Probably not the most healthy of habits but at least its not cocaine.



There was this moment recently when we were out with some friends and I was the DD once again and i'm waiting for everyone to get their lives together so I can take all of them home.

And I turn to my friend who is also in this state of being done with people and I just put my head on their shoulder because i'm tired.
And then they put their head on top of mine.
And I just say, We'll be OK.
And they put their arm around me and i'm reminded that we are never alone in this life.
All whilst my friends are being spazzy in a dingy bar.
We have friends to take the place of our emotional support and love when we may not have a significant other.

I still struggle to this day with loving myself.
There definitely was many instances when I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die.
But I got back up.
I found out how to love myself.
All my quirks.
All my flaws.
All my scars.

I found how to make myself happy which I think is the most important.
You don't need anyone to make you happy.
That's when you've found true strength.


Sometimes it was too hard to keep the tears under control.
Sometimes writing wasn't enough.
Sometimes friends weren't enough to keep me from going crazy.

Sometimes my mind was moving too fast.
Thinking too many thoughts


The trick is the quiet all the worry and thoughts about that you should have gotten back together.

This person was having these thoughts this week and all I can say is to never look back.
Don't go back.
There was a reason it fell apart.

There are better people out there.

And you might hate yourself for being in a relationship that you can see now was riddled with cracks.
And how did you not see it before?

That's the worst.
You can never truly pinpoint why you stayed unhappy for so long and didn't realize it.

Sure there were plenty of good memories.
But mine like my friends instance is that the two of them just grew apart.
And if you were the one that was trying to keep it together and putting in the work it hurts more because you feel like even though you tried your hardest it wasn't enough to keep the love alive.

This friend and I are literally going through the same thing about 7 months apart.


So i'm trying to be there for them as I had hoped someone had been there for me.
I'm trying to get out all their emotions and keep their mind off how sad they really are.

Companionship.
Friendship.
Love.

Being there for someone that needs you.
That's one of the most satisfying moments.
I love being there for them.
Getting them out.
Being a friend.

That's one of the few things I can do right.

Don't worry I just got my first awkward sunburn

I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST SUNBURN!

yes!

Well I was only outside for like 45 minutes to an hour.
But I got one!

It was a gorgeous day and I was wearing a cobalt blue high waisted skirt with get this my new Cinderella t-shirt that has sequins and the Cinderella castle on it.
Because I have an unhealthy obsession with Disney princesses.

AND THEY ARE COMING OUT WITH A LIVE ACTION BEAUTY AND THE BEAST AND MULAN

I cannot contain my glee.

But we went outside for Steve Meyers Mountain sports climbing class.
And It was a lovely beautiful balmy day.

So our group of four tromped outside.

And sat in the sun and soaked up the new wonderful sunshine for a while.
Because it was the first time it wasn't frigid.

So I wore a skirt.
And now I have an awkward slightly above the knee sunburn.
And its still there.
Because my genetic make up does not deal with the sun.
Hello german and swedes.


Yep.
So spring is here!